The Spite Mission
by BillAtWork
Summary: What happened in Pink Slip with the Giles mission? This is my vision. If you don't want to read about Sarah using sex on an assignment, please, please skip this. This will be a strong Charah story and have a sappy happy ending. But it starts off pretty grim from a Charah POV. It's T for strong adult situations and plenty of implied sex.
1. Chapter 1

_I still don't own Chuck. I'm not sure who does at this point._

 _I'm not really un-retiring. This is something that's been on my hard drive for a long time. I was never sure what the reaction would be. I guess I no longer care all that much, lol._

 _Content Warning: This is based upon Pink Slip, which means it's, by definition, not a happy story, especially if you are a Charah Shipper, at least not at first. If you would be bothered by reading about Sarah using sex on an assignment, this would be a good story to skip. I'm going to try hard to keep this T but there are going to be adult situations and a ton of implied sex._

 _I do think this has a foundation in canon. What happened on Sarah's mission with the Giles character in Pink Slip?_

 _Naturally, all of the normal BillAtWork promises apply. So expect a very sappy happy ending… eventually. If you can make it through the first couple of pretty rough chapters, things improve dramatically._

 _I would still appreciate your comments. The worst thing for an author is silence. You can't tell if you're connecting with your readers, if they're getting where you think the story is going or not. And those comments don't have to be praise. Of course, I'd be lying if I tried to say that I don't enjoy the praise. But I actually learn more from the critical comments. Just as long as you're respectful and allow me to respond, you can say anything._

 **The Assignment**

x-x-x-x-x

"Are you sure that this is a good idea? This doesn't seem like her type of assignment."

The CIA Director looked at General Beckman carefully. He really didn't need her permission. Since the end of the Intersect project, Agent Walker was returned to the CIA duty roster. That meant that she was his to assign to any mission as he saw fit. Still, there was some wisdom in keeping the lines of communication open. Which agency would get Bartowski after he completed training was still an open question. If he wanted a trained Intersect 2.0 on his CIA duty roster, he'd have to convince the General. Besides, Walker had reported directly to Beckman for two full years. They weren't exactly friends, in fact Beckman wasn't particularly happy with Walker right now, but they had developed something of an understanding with each other. "She actually volunteered," he said. "She came into my office and requested this specific assignment."

"Really?" Beckman asked in surprise.

"She said that she needed to get away," the Director confirmed. "With her amazing track record, I think she's earned the right to have a hand in choosing her next assignment." Actually Beckman's reaction was pretty much the same that his psych team had. Walker was a badass. She had racked up a string of amazing successes, mostly by leaving behind a trail of unconscious or dead bad guys. She was unproven at this type of infiltration assignment or the 'tasks' it would demand. Still… "And we do have a resource problem. Normally this would be something that we'd give to Agent Miller. But she's on her own similar assignment. Agent Walker's had the training."

Of course Beckman knew the problem. You didn't need a Psychology Ph.D. to see that Walker was heartbroken… felt rejected. She was searching out such an intimate assignment out of spite. Still, that was her right. Maybe it would help her in some way. And this was an important assignment. This Giles character's organization was wreaking havoc all across the western half of the country with their drugs. "She's certainly qualified," she finally agreed with a sigh.

"Let's keep an eye out for her."

x-x-x-x-x

It was quickly approaching show time. She could see the growing look of lust in his eyes, not to mention the bulge in his trunks.

Sarah had just gotten out of the pool. She jumped in mostly to escape his gloating look for a few minutes. But the cool cleansing water felt marvelous against the heat of the afternoon. Actually, even the sun felt good, warming her as she relaxed on the deck chair. And since the dark glasses hid her eyes, it was a good chance to think.

Sarah thought about how she had gotten to this point. It wasn't the time to get cold feet. Even if she wanted too, there was no backing out now. She was deep into his fortified compound, surrounded by a score of his men. The only way out of here now was either as a trusted cartel member… or as a corpse. The path to the former was well defined. One way or another, Giles was going to claim her today. He didn't have to say it. They both knew it. The only question was how cooperative she was going to be. So she might as well take Carina's advice and enjoy it as much as possible.

The CIA brass was stunned when she volunteered for this assignment. It wasn't an Agent Walker type assignment. They didn't realize it was out of spite. There was only one way to get into the inner circle of one of the world's most notorious drug cartels. Carina laughingly called it the lightbulb approach. You had to screw your way in.

That part was much harder than one might imagine. It started with the CIA arranging an invitation to a party where Giles would be. The rest was up to her. Even at a party, you didn't simply walk up to Roberto Giles and start flirting with him. He was always surrounded by his entourage of heavily armed muscle. At first, all Sarah could do was to play her part of cocaine addicted babe. That meant dress in next to nothing, mix in with the other cocaine addicted babes, flash that sexy smile, do a few lines of coke, dance with whoever asked, and hopefully wait for the mark to come to her. The hardest part was pealing all of the greasy hands that didn't belong to Giles off of various parts of her anatomy without causing a scene. The second hardest was keeping her wits after the multiple lines of coke she was 'forced' to cram up her nose.

Finally, mercifully, one of Giles's men approached and invited her over. After that, it got easier… and harder. After all, it would be counterproductive to peal Giles greasy hands off her anatomy. He probably didn't realize that he had free reign. Then again, he didn't ask as he took full advantage. All Sarah could do was to smile and allow him to grope her in the fully lit room in front of everybody… all the while flirting with him and encouraging him to go even farther. That was a new experience. At least she wasn't the only one. And, unlike most of the other ladies, he did allow her to stay dressed. The near orgy was the wildest scene of her life… by a long margin. Fortunately, it didn't take much of the dumb blonde sexpot act to get him to invite her to his 'place' for a private after-the-party party. They both knew what that meant. She was in. She had an hour to go pack some clothes under one of his men's watchful eyes. The rest was a blur. So now, here she was, sitting there in that ridiculously skimpy bikini, waiting to be 'claimed' by her new owner… officially a rookie sex-toy candidate.

The CIA Director insisted that his psyche guys spend a lot of time carefully preparing her for this assignment. There was a fair amount of discussion about even allowing her to go. Agent Walker had the seduction school training, but she didn't have any field experience. About a third of the agents who attempted this type of infiltration ended up as naked corpses found in the desert someplace. These drug lord men weren't flexible. They weren't looking for girlfriends. They were looking for objects to possess. They paid for them with luxurious lifestyles, days of laying by the pool collecting the bright sun… oh and endless coke. They all had massive egos, high level sex drives, and expected submissive obedience in all ways… but especially in bed. That wasn't exactly Agent Walker's style. Getting pissed and introducing her lethal left foot to this guy's jaw might be fun for a moment, but there was no way to survive it.

It certainly wasn't what she had planned for the next couple of months. Right about now she should have been in the middle of her honeymoon… treating her new husband like a king and experimenting in how excited she could get him by modeling one after another of the negligees she had packed for his amusement. But love had failed her… right at her most vulnerable point… just like she always knew in her gut that it would. She had already cried about it so much that there simply weren't any tears left. Sitting around thinking about Chuck was depressing. So she might as well throw herself into her work. Maybe that would keep her mind off her troubles. One good thing, Giles wouldn't be impressed by negligees.

Carina was much more helpful than the CIA stuffed shirts. She told her that it didn't have to be all bad. Carina grinned and told her that was one cure for a broken heart… she just really needed to realize the up side of being repeatedly screwed for a while. And this was perfect. Her advice was to accept the sex-toy role and make herself get into it as much as possible. Maybe. Sex was Carina's answer to most every problem. But surely Carina didn't mean by this particular dude. Giles wasn't her physical type at all. He was short, stocky… and hairy… very, very hairy. But then again neither was Chuck at first. And he eventually grew on her. Maybe after a couple of months Giles would as well.

Giles was really in no rush. Last night's groping aside, he really hadn't touched her yet. He didn't have to be in a rush. The outcome wasn't in question. Really the main question of the moment was would Giles take her inside this first time? To claim her in private? Or would he go just for it here by the pool? It was fifty-fifty. And if not today, Sarah knew that it was definitely going to happen soon enough. These guys loved to show off their conquests. There was already some pretty wild action going on around that pool.

And at first, it looked like it was going happen here. Giles walked up and held out her phone. "You missed a call while you were swimming," he said.

Chuck's picture was the very, very last thing she wanted to see at this point. What could he possibly want? To boast how well he was doing in spy training? The bastard had to know how devastated she was. Nobody was that clueless. Giles was watching for her reaction… so she made sure to give him one. She tossed the phone into the pool.

Giles face showed that he enjoyed her gesture. He extended his hand, pulled her into a sitting position, and pulled on the strings of her bikini top until he was holding it in his hand. "You have a marvelous body. You don't really need this," he said. "Do you?"

He had maybe framed it as a question… but it was anything but. Sarah understood the order. A top was now not part of her poolside wardrobe. There was really nothing to do but smile. Fortunately, if you were modest in any way about men seeing you naked, Seduction School beat that out of you. Even better, she no longer had to worry about tan lines. "Of course not," she said. "Thank you for the sweet compliment." At least he was right. She did have the body for it.

The cool water had performed its intended effect and Sarah knew that her 'marvelous' body was putting on quite the show. She was getting some rather envious looks from all of the men, and some of the women. Giles look was one of gloating confidence. Fortunately, Giles pulled her to her feet and led her into the house. At least it looked like this first initiation would take place in private.

Luckily there was plenty of coke lying around openly throughout the complex. Sarah knew that she had to be careful with the endless line of cocaine. Too much and she would develop a serious problem. But for today's purposes, it was good. It dented the ache in her chest.

She just stood there with that smile she had learned in training and watched Giles confidently pull on the strings of her bikini bottom… almost as if he was taunting her. With nothing holding it in place, gravity quickly did its work. Sarah Walker was now standing naked in front of a man, ready for sex, for the first time in over two years.

He was content to stare at her perfect body for a long time. "Let's do a line," he finally suggested. "Then you can show me what you're made of."

It was a good idea. Sarah loved cocaine. That's why she religiously stayed away from it. But Sarah was nowhere to be found. Agent Walker needed that familiar tingling that immediately started flowing through her body. Giles took some of the power and rubbed it on her chest. That was a first for Sarah. But it felt… electric. It was when he reached between her legs that Sarah knew this was serious.

Giles led her to the… well bed wasn't the right word. But it was more than a sofa. It was obviously designed with this activity in mind. He pushed her reasonably gently onto her back.

The actual sex was almost anti-climactic. There wasn't anything in the way of foreplay, he just went for it. Carina's advice quickly became moot. Sarah knew that there was no way she was ever going to be able to make herself get into this… and even if she could, it didn't last long enough to matter. Besides Giles was making zero effort to make this any good for her. He was simply claiming his newest possession. And at this point that was more than fine with Sarah. As soon as he was done, he simply climbed off, discarded the condom, put his trunks back on, and was wordlessly gone.

Sarah stayed still, lying there naked for a long moment. It was official. Agent Walker had finally lost her mission cherry. She was now initiated into the CIA drug lord sex toy sorority. She wasn't a whore. She absolutely wasn't. This is exactly what she was trained to do, what her fellow agents did every day… use the main weapon they had. These men were evil. They had to be stopped whatever the personal cost.

So why did she feel so much like a whore?

It was a good thing she was alone. It would have been hard to blink away the tears enough to not be noticeable. "Chuck," she sighed softly to the empty room. How could you possibly miss someone so much? A huge part of her wanted to find a hole someplace, crawl into it, and cry for three days. But she knew that if she started crying now, she might never stop.

There was a little good news here. This first time was over relatively easily. Certainly she had been fully briefed on her sex-toy job description. This would become harder as he got more demanding. That would probably be the hardest part of this entire assignment for her…watching the smug look on his face as she pleaded for him to debase her. But quickly enough sadness morphed into anger… like it always did. Maybe it was more spite than anger… gloating that Chuck would never experience what she was currently giving this low life.

The truth was, it had been so long that she almost forgot what sex was like. In retrospect, it was actually numbing… certainly not what she had anticipated with her first time with Chuck. But she had to get that out of her mind. It wasn't going to happen. It was depressing. They told her to expect this assignment to last a few months… maybe as long as six. That mean this was the first of a few hundred or so of these sessions she could look forward too by Giles and whatever individual or group he decided to loan her to. And sex was far too tame of a word for what she could expect to be demanded from them. It was what whores did, right? But as much as it hurt, this was just what she needed.

She needed to get over him.

x-x-x-x-x

It was by far the most exciting day of Sarah's life. There was a point in almost every long term mission where it stopped being work and started to feel real. It had taken a long time, but they were finally there. She was so excited that she could barely keep the car on the road. Fortunately, it was a short drive to his place.

There are times in life that seem to be happening in slow motion, yet pass all too quickly at the same time. This was one of them. They were kissing so hard that he could barely get the door open. At some level, Sarah understood that she was in serious trouble. And even though she could no longer deny that she had strong feelings for him, she was technically still on an assignment. Getting too personally involved was dangerous for a spy. Love was an emotion that wasn't allowed. Sex on assignments was supposed to be strategic. But that was out the window. This guy was simply too hot for his own good. Since the moment she met him, he got her motor running. Now that motor was at the red line. She needed this, had long passed the point where lust overcame any attempt at rational thought. She simply needed this. Fortunately, he was plainly very willing to do his part. She could feel him pressing into her stomach as their tongues danced.

It's not like Sarah hadn't anticipated something like this happening. It wasn't really a date. But at least they were finally alone. She made sure to wear her sexiest dress to dinner including the sheerest underwear she had. Spies were taught to be aggressive when using sex on a mission… to set and control the agenda. But clearly, he had other ideas. Through the fog of lust, she could feel the zipper on her dress being lowered. Their tongues were still dancing as the dress pooled at her feet.

Finally he broke this kiss and took a step back. "You're too beautiful," he said. "If we keep that up much longer, the results are not going to be satisfactory. Strip for me."

Sarah never blushed. You were trained to keep your emotions under control at all times… to only allow people to see what you wanted them to see. But she could feel the red already up her neck and into her face. Her knees were so weak that she could barely stand. When she unclasped her bra, she had to fight the instinct to cover her chest with her arm… not because she didn't want him looking at her… but because she knew that he would see the hardness of her nipples and know how helpless she really was.

He didn't tell her when to take off her panties, not with words anyway. But she knew that's what his eyes were demanding. So she slowly slid them down her long legs. She had to reach down and pull them over her heels.

He had taken off his shirt and Sarah's arousal ticked up a full notch. It was a pleasant surprise. Not that it mattered all that much. Over the next several hours she was going to repeatedly screw him senseless anyway. But she always loved looking at his well-formed chest.

He stepped up and started kissing her again. This was uncharted territory for Sarah. All she knew was that she needed him. So she fumbled with his belt.

But he broke the kiss and pulled her hands away. "Not yet," he said. Then he started kissing slowly down her neck until he was at her breast, alternating between the two playfully for a while before gently pushing her onto the bed.

Sarah had always been the aggressive one. But she had quickly learned that when it came to this man, she loved submitting to his will. She could tell what he had planned when he started kissing his way down her stomach. It maybe wasn't a first for her, but it sure didn't happen often. All the men that she had ever been with were only interested in their own pleasure. But finally she could feel him reach his goal. She placed her hands on the top of his head to press him firmly.

Surprisingly, he lifted his head and pulled her hands away. "I can do this better on my own," he said. "Trust me?"

Trust was a hard thing for Agent Walker… especially on an assignment… and even more especially in bed. Anybody she had ever trusted had screwed her over. But she really didn't have much choice. So she took her hands and grabbed two fists full of bedspread as he got back to work.

It was another wonderful surprise. He was very, very, very good at this. Sarah had nothing to compare it too. All she knew was that this was too good to be true. All she could do was moan. "Right there. Please, Chuck, don't stop."

"Who is Chuck?"

When Sarah's eyes popped open, Giles was sitting on the edge of her deck chair. He had slid his hand inside of her bikini, clearly putting on a show for whoever was interested gathered by the pool.

Sarah knew that she had just committed the cardinal sin. She had only been here for a couple of weeks, certainly not enough time to earn any slack. Crying out another man's name was bad in any circumstance. But on a mission with a bloodthirsty drug runner, it was probably fatal. It was one of those things that she just couldn't help. That scene in his bedroom after the rehearsal dinner was the unquestioned highlight of her life. Even if Beckman calling with an 'emergency' at exactly the wrong time kept them from actually having sex, Chuck had been amazing. Maybe it wasn't totally fair to blame him for this. The thing is, Sarah wasn't in the mood to be fair. But right now, she had bigger problems. Giles was very possessive. He owned her. That he would punish her was a given. That could get intense. Her only hope was to try and choose her own punishment… and hope it would be enough.

Sarah put the pout on her face. "Chuck is my ex," she said. "I'm sorry."

Giles didn't say anything. He just stared at her.

"You're pissed," Sarah pleaded. "Giles, please don't be pissed. It's not like that. Chuck and I are so over. I'm not sure why I was dreaming about him. What can I do to prove to you how sorry I am?"

Giles didn't answer for a long time. "You'd have to do something special," he finally said.

Sarah had a pretty good idea of what he had in mind. Their sex life had been pretty predictable up to this point. He was gone on business about half the time. Hopefully soon, he'd trust her enough to take her with him. That's when the assignment would start to pay dividends. When he was here, a couple of times a day he had basically repeated that first time. The sex was still rather unspectacular. She was simply his toy. He had no interest in making any effort to make it good for her. So getting back on his good side by simply giving him a repeat wouldn't be close to enough. She would have to take charge. She had saved this performance for a rainy day. "Can we please go inside," she asked with a pout. "I'll do my best to earn your forgiveness." Sarah looked at the cloudless desert sky. It definitely looked like rain.

His agreeing to go inside was a long shot. He would probably want her punishment to be public. But, he stood up and extended his hand. Sarah was surprised, but she also wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. She just allowed him to lead her into the compound. It wasn't exactly private. Lots of people had access. But it sure beat degrading herself in front of everyone at the pool. Sarah wasn't looking forward to his… but it was the only way out of this bad situation. And she had to admit, she had only one person to blame.

If she didn't get over Chuck soon, this assignment was going to be the death of her.

x-x-x-x-x


	2. Deal Closer

_I still don't own Chuck. I'm not sure who does at this point._

 _Warning: This is not a happy story, especially if you are a Charah Shipper, at least not at first. If you would be bothered by reading about Sarah with other men, this would be a good story to skip._

 _I do think this has a foundation in canon. What happened on Sarah's mission with the Giles character in Pink Slip?_

 _I'm a little amused by the reaction. This story has been sitting on my hard drive for almost two years. I was always afraid to post it because I didn't want to get flamed. Fortunately, that hasn't happened. Aside from a couple of anonymous reviews that have me scratching my head, everyone has been very supportive._

 _It's impossible to know what happened between Sarah and Giles in Pink Slip. I think this is a reasonable explanation. But, like most of you, that doesn't mean that I like it. I don't. I think it was horrible, lazy story telling. The Chuck we'd been rooting for would have never done that. It might be overstatement to say that it ruined the show for me. But it's not overstatement to say that I never looked at it the same way. I'll say as long as anyone will listen that if season three would have begun with Honeymooners, almost nothing would have had to change and the show would still be on the air. But it didn't happen that way. So this is my attempt to deal with it in a positive way._

 _I would still appreciate your comments. The worst thing for an author is silence. You can't tell if you're connecting with your readers, if they're getting where you think the story is going or not. And those comments don't have to be praise. Of course, I'd be lying if I tried to say that I don't enjoy the praise. But I actually learn more from the critical comments. Just as long as you're respectful and allow me to respond, you can say anything._

 **Deal Closer**

x-x-x-x-x

Giles was pissed. At least he was playing the part. That was pretty clear from the look on his face. Sarah was going to have to come up with something special to get him over this.

Sarah knew going in to this mission what was going to be required. The CIA brass had drilled it into her head. Blow your cover and they would find your nude, mutilated body someplace as a warning. These guys were incredibly possessive. Obedience and loyalty had to be total. You certainly didn't want to be on your owner's bad side. Till now, Giles had treated her fairly decently… for an owned, cocaine addicted, sex toy.

Okay, yes, he insisted that she submit to his flaunting his possession to the group that was always gathered by the pool. Shouting out a fake orgasm loud enough to be heard out there wasn't Sarah's first choice… but it was clearly in her job description. Other than that, he was pretty tame. But she had just messed up big time. Crying out another man's name was a challenge to his manhood. If he really wanted to prove a point and teach her a lesson, things could get messy. He could demand almost anything as her punishment… he could insist that she put on a show for the crowd, pass her around to the men… almost anything his deviant mind could think of to prove her obedience.

Frankly, most of that was probably only a matter of time anyway. She could see that gleam in their eyes that told her that the men were all hoping for their shot at her. Certainly Giles would soon reward one of his loyal, hard working men with a night of debauchery. The women? Well, just like her, they had no right to refuse anything. Then again, they were all so hopped up on coke that they were barely conscious. There were many times Sarah envied them in that single detail.

Luckily he had allowed her to come inside. That was a very good sign. Hopefully, he would allow her to grovel for a while, do her very best to give him the most powerful time of his life, and get back in his good graces.

That's when her eyes fixed on the camera… and the epiphany hit.

Sarah always knew that the camera was there recording every detail of her ongoing service. They made no attempt to hide it. She often wished that there would be some way to make Chuck watch the tapes. That would show him.

 _ **You want to be a spy so fucking bad, Chuck? Well here is documented in 24 frames per second high definition video exactly what spies do. Is that technical enough for you, nerd? Take a good fucking look. This is what you turned down… what you're never going to get.**_

That fantasy had gotten her through several sessions already. So Sarah sided up to where Giles was standing. "You're pissed at me," she said. "I get that. I hate it when you're pissed at me. The truth is that you have every right to be mad. I was insensitive. I'm very sorry that I put an unpleasant thought into your head. But I do want you to understand. It's not what you're thinking at all. Chuck's an asshole. He's a loser. I'm embarrassed about him. You treat me the way a lady likes to be treated. I'm where I want to be… here with you. I'd like a chance to prove that to you. Will you help me prove it to him?"

"How?"

His not protesting was a very good sign. She had peaked his interest. She nodded to the camera and continued her offer. "Sit back and give me a chance to make this up to you," she said. "Daddy, I'll do everything I possibly can to put on a performance that will make you feel so good. After we're done, and I've officially earned your forgiveness, we'll send a copy of the tape to him. That will show the asshole what he's missing… and who I belong to."

Sarah could tell by the look on his face that she had just hit a home run. Giles couldn't keep up the gruff look. It wasn't a toothy grin. But it was at least the beginnings of a smile. "Okay," was all he said. "It will have to be good."

It was going to be good. It was time to deliver. Sarah was now motivated to put on the sexual performance of her life. Getting back in Giles's good graces was great. But the idea of Chuck watching it happen was at an entirely different level. "It will be," she said.

Normally, Sarah would have started something like this off with a sexy strip tease. After all, dancing was one of her main talents. Not that it had ever personally happened to her, but she had been Carina's partner for a year and watching her chest bounce around as she danced, leaving clothes strewn around the room had always been a big hit. The only problem was that she was already almost naked, wearing only her bikini bottom, and had been for weeks. So a strip show was probably pointless. Fortunately for Sarah, the past two weeks had taught her a little something about Giles and what he liked.

She slowly untied the strings and allowed her bikini to slide to the floor. Then she assumed the model's pose that was required in these situations, looked him squarely in the eyes, and posed for him… and his camera. Actually, she was still a little worked up from her daydream about Chuck. That definitely helped. Maybe he was good for something after all.

After a couple of minutes wordlessly posing, Sarah looked down at Giles. Maybe it wasn't another home run. But it was definitely a line drive single. He had already taken his trucks off and was sporting a large erection, well, as large as he got anyway. So Sarah got up and positioned a chair so that the camera would have a good angle. She sided up to Giles with her sexiest smile, led him to the chair, gently pushed until he was sitting, and plopped to her knees before him.

This wasn't Sarah's favorite activity… by a long shot. One of the surprises of this assignment was that Giles hadn't demanded it yet. It was a clear cut favorite of the other men. There was often a man sitting on the edge of the pool while one of the girls was in the water performing. Sarah always knew that it was just a matter of time before it would be her in the water. Giles was pretty unique in that regard. Of course, that was fine with Sarah. She intentionally didn't make much effort to make a trip downtown. That would have to change today.

It was one of the unfortunate consequences. After this performance, he would undoubtedly want this regularly. And since she had no right to refuse anything, Sarah could now look forward to him demanding it at every opportunity. But that was just the price she would have to pay for messing up so badly. Since this was all Chuck's fault anyway, while he was watching the tape, she'd have to find a way to let him know how many times it had happened… thanks to him.

Sarah knew that she could get this over really quickly if she wanted. His endurance was ridiculous. And normally she would have. But she needed to put on a performance for him this time. So she spent some time teasing him before beginning in earnest.

Making it last was clearly going to be a challenge. It was beyond gross. But it was in every sex toy's job description… written in red ink. Trying to get out of it would be a sign of disrespect. And Sarah was in enough trouble already. Finally, she was able to look up at him with a pout. "So, am I forgiven?" she asked.

Sarah hoped this would be enough. She figured the odds at about fifty-fifty. So she was very surprised when he pulled her to her feet and planted a soft kiss on her forehead. "Sarah, that was amazing," he said. "Thank you."

Wow. Talk about a stunner. Men like Giles didn't say thank you. And it was the first time he had addressed her by her first name…ever. Had that one act really changed the way he thought about her? If so, she should have done it sooner. So she said the one thing that she could. "You're welcome. Anytime." Of course that was literal.

"That Chuck guy is a moron."

For a long moment, all Sarah could see was pure red. Okay, yes. He meant it as a compliment. But nobody talked about Chuck like that. That's when the second epiphany hit. She was still desperately in love with him, probably always would be. This mission had been a childish reaction. Sarah wasn't sure where Chuck was at. But she knew that she had to end this mission as soon as possible and go talk to him. Maybe there was something they could work out. Groveling and offering him wild sex wasn't out of the question.

"I have a job for you," Giles said as he pulled on his trunks. "We have a very important new prospective client. If we can close this deal, it will make us hundreds of millions in profits. He and his wife would like to take you to dinner tonight… and dancing to show our good faith. If you can impress them that we are a valued trading partner, he will give you a suitcase to bring back tomorrow with ten million dollars to show his good faith. Can I count on you?"

Double wow. There was a glimmer of hope here. This was the first time he ever talked to her, about anything really, but especially about the business. Sarah's mission had just gotten dramatically easier. She had just been promoted. From sex toy to deal closer. It was a major step. Oh, he was most definitely whoring her out. That's how these guys thought. Giving someone your sex toy for an entire evening was a definite show of good faith. Giles would never tell her directly to screw him. He assumed that she already knew. She was expected to make this guy… and his wife very happy tonight. A threesome? That would be another new experience. "Of course, Daddy," she said. "I hope that you know that you never have to ask me that."

Giles smiled as they hear the knock at the door. "That is probably them now," he said. But before he answered the door, he leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Thank you, baby" he said. "I knew that I could trust you."

Sarah grinned. The moron was falling in love. That is exactly what love was good for. This mission was now a piece of cake. He was involving her in the business. She'd quickly be in position to learn everything. Hopefully, she could get this over with in a couple of weeks. Yes, now she'd have to get more genuinely intimate with him. Their sex would now require more kissing and other foreplay from her. Her special performance would have to be regularly offered. But at least, now the end was in sight. And she could pout and get pretty much anything she wanted from him. That meant that all of their sex would now happen in private. There would be no more degrading scenes out by the pool in front of everyone. She might even be able to claim the occasional headache.

When Giles opened the door, Sarah realized that he had fully intended for this to happen. He wanted to show her off butt naked. So she put the sexy smile on her face, assumed the model's pose, and waited. If this couple wanted a clear look at what they could expect in the way of entertainment tonight, well, she was going to deliver.

But Sarah's blood ran cold when they entered the room. She had to call on every bit of training to keep the surprise off her face as she looked into Carina's gloating eyes.

"Sarah," Giles said.

"I'd like you to meet Mr. and Mrs. Charles Carmichael."

x-x-x-x-x

The very first thing that Sarah noticed was how relieved she was to see him. The second thing was that Chuck had cut his hair. She loved his curls… but holy fuck, this looked good. Standing there in that tuxedo, he was most definitely the hottest man she had ever seen. Even if she hadn't been in love with him, in a bar he could have gotten very lucky with almost anyone… the incredibly tough to charm, Agent Walker included. Maybe spy training had been good for him.

But quickly enough that faded away and she realized that she was standing there naked. Of course, she had fanaticized plenty of times about being naked with him. It wasn't the first time he had seen her naked. Hopefully it wouldn't be the last. But his bedroom after the rehearsal dinner had been dark. This room was fully lit. She quickly found that Chuck Bartowski was the very last person on earth that she wanted to see her like this… a submissive sex toy owned by another man. But she couldn't do anything to cover herself. All she could do was to stand there with that stupid fake smile, fight from blushing, and allow his eyes full access to everything she had.

Sarah knew what was expected… that she would greet her new master for the next day with a sweet, submissive smile and an open mouth kiss. After all, she was the deal closer. Whatever he wanted, up to and including an orgy right here and now, well, she'd have to deliver.

So what was the problem? She had kissed him many times, had imagined it a million more. But she also knew that if she kissed him here, she wouldn't be able to hide her true feelings. And Giles was standing right there. So she stuck out her hand awkwardly. "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Carmichael," she said.

Carina, ever the professional, wasn't going to let her get away with that. So she ignored Sarah's hand, stepped up to her, and planted their lips firmly together.

It was the first time that Sarah had ever kissed Carina. It was actually the first time she had ever kissed another woman. Carina was plainly proving a point to her because she kept their tongues dancing a little longer than would have been necessary to sell it. "You're even more beautiful than Charles described," she said playfully as the long kiss finally broke. "He's been looking forward to this for days."

Carina's instruction to her best friend on the proper conduct on a seduction mission didn't go unnoticed. Sarah now didn't have any choice. She stepped up to Chuck. "Thank you, Mr. Carmichael," she said. "I'm looking forward to it too."

It's funny. Chuck wasn't nearly as aggressive as Carina had been. He was much, much softer. It even took him a moment to open his mouth. But it was a thousand times more effective. Sarah knew that she needed to stay alert. But that was out the window for the moment as she just allowed herself to melt into him.

Finally, Carina pulled her away. "Down, girl," she said with a laugh. "You'll have him leading you to that couch and we'll all be screwing right here. We have all night for that. We're all dressed up for dinner and I'm hungry. Stand there and let us look at you."

Again, Carina was firmly in charge. Sarah could see in Chuck's eyes that he fully recognized this was the first time he had seen her totally naked in the full light of day. He was very cute as he, almost shyly, took her in, from head to toe, and back again. Except that Sarah noticed that after a moment he stopped looking. He kept his eyes firmly fixed into hers. His eyes told the story. He was being respectful, was embarrassed at her circumstance. That was… pretty sweet. He was maybe the only man on the planet who wouldn't currently be overtly drooling while checking out her nude form. But, that was pure Chuck. That was her guy. It made her want him even more… if that was even possible.

Their so overtly making goo goo eyes at each other probably would have been a bad thing, given their current situation. Giles was standing right there watching this all happen. So Carina got them back into character. She sided up to Sarah and cupped her breast. "Look at this, Charles," she cooed. "She's gorgeous. Have you ever seen anything more perfect in your entire life?"

Chuck was maybe facing Carina… but he was definitely talking to Sarah. "Never," he said, his voice little more than a whisper. "Never close."

The bad thing was that his sweet compliment made Sarah's battle to keep the blush from showing all that much harder. But it did accomplish one thing. Now, in a way, she was glad that she was naked. She wanted him to look. She even leaned forward a bit to make her chest stand out for him.

Of course she still had her best friend to deal with. Sarah had seen that gleam in her eyes only about a million times. It always meant trouble for someone. This time, that someone was her. "I can't wait for this dinner to get over with. We're going to have so much fun. It feels like she is looking forward to it too." Carina finally released her breast and grabbed her hand. "Come on," she said. "I'll help you get dressed. Suddenly, I'm in a hurry. We'll leave the guys to talk boring business."

Sarah had mixed feelings. She was suddenly in a hurry as well. But she also wasn't crazy about leaving Chuck out here alone with the bloodthirsty drug runner. It was hard to get mad at Carina. She was playing her role. Sarah wasn't sure why they were even here. It must have something to do with the mission. But Carina clearly was into her role. Challenging her in any way would be a serious mistake.

It didn't take long to get dressed. Sarah hadn't packed all of her clothes for this mission. But formal dresses were a must. Carina went to her closet and came back carrying the black, backless dress that Sarah knew she would pick out.

Okay, so it made some sense to keep up their role. Sarah didn't know if her room was bugged or not. But it was certainly possible. So that meant assuming that it was. Carina was clearly having a good time pushing her role to the absolute limit. She grinned as her hands were everywhere. There would be a serious discussion about this the first time they could speak openly. But for now, Sarah had no choice but to allow Carina to playfully grope her.

"We're going to have so much fun tonight," Carina sighed. "Charles always likes to get these things started by having the girls put on a performance for him. Just follow my lead."

Now Sarah wasn't so sure if this was going to happen or not. Carina was playing a role… but she was also enjoying teasing her entirely too much. Thankfully Sarah knew that Chuck would be horrified at watching her and Carina go at it. But where were they going and why? Who else might be watching? Would they have to go through with this to protect the cover? Carina finally removed her hand and allowed Sarah to get dressed. Most of the time was spent applying the appropriate makeup for such a formal dress.

All in all, they were only gone about fifteen minutes. Chuck and Giles were huddled around a TV. Sarah prayed that they weren't watching what she feared they were watching.

But they were.

All Sarah could do was to stand there and watch with everyone else at the crystal clear image of her performing. The irony was that she asked for this recording to be made so that Chuck would someday see it. Now she was mortified.

Giles didn't do anything to help. "I told you," he bragged. "The girl could suck a golf ball through a twenty foot garden hose. Tell me that you're not looking forward to some of that action tonight."

Chuck didn't answer. He just silently watched the screen until the scene was finished. He finally turned to Giles. But again, it was obvious who he was really talking too. "She asked you for this to punish her ex-boyfriend?" he asked, stating the obvious since he had seen and heard Sarah's request. "She must be really pissed at him."

Giles playfully slapped Chuck on the back. "The guy's a moron," he said with a snort. "Am I right?"

You had to know Chuck pretty well to see the sadness in his eyes. "He's too stupid to live," he replied.

Sarah could feel the tears filling her eyes. She was desperately trying to blink them away. This could have gone badly but not for Carina. She sided up to Giles and put her arms around his neck. "That was a very impressive performance," she said. "I'll bet I can do even better. Maybe when we get back tomorrow, we can organize a little contest? That might be interesting."

Giles just laughed. "That might be very interesting," he said.

"I think I'll have to put some money on my girl."

x-x-x-x-x


	3. The Dusty Road

_I still don't own Chuck. I'm not sure who does at this point._

 _Warning: Well, actually the worst is over. Any Charah Shipper who is still with us can breathe easier. There is still some fairly significant implied sex._

 _What happened on Sarah's mission with the Giles character in Pink Slip? It's an invalid question. The true answer is nothing. They are fictional characters. They only exist to the extent that we see them on the screen. That's where fanfic writers come in. We fill in those gaps and give our interpretations of stories the show couldn't or wouldn't tell. So based on what we saw, you could write a story where Giles was Sarah's Sunday School teacher and the pool scene was him inviting his class over for some friendly swimming and lemonade. Nobody could tell you that you're wrong. If anyone couldn't accept the premise, they'd be unlikely to enjoy the story, but would have no basis to say it was wrong._

 _Likewise, this is my interpretation. I think it's a reasonable explanation of what we saw but I fully recognize that's in the eye of the beholder. It's neither right nor wrong. It's a fictional story. If any 'beholder' can't accept the premise, they are unlikely to enjoy the story. I have zero problems with that._

 _I'm… well surprised isn't the right word. I expected it. But I scratch my head at some comments. People either say that Chuck will never forgive her or that he is a doormat and blaming himself. What I don't get is what these people think it is that Sarah has done wrong that needs to be forgiven? She is on a legitimate infiltration assignment, one she's been trained for, one her CIA sisters routinely do._

 _Moreover, at this point if she decided that she wanted to move to San Diego and make it her life's work to hump the entire U.S. Navy, one or more sailors at a time, who is Chuck to object? Yes, she was hurt and lashed out. She took this mission hoping he would learn where she was and why. She imagined him watching the tape. She probably imagined him staked out naked on an ant hill. But isn't that what heartbroken people do? And yes, she fanaticized about Chuck watching the tape. She used that to get back in Giles good graces. But she never actually wanted him to see it. She was mortified when it happened._

 _So Chuck is pissed at her. She's equally pissed at him. They are going to scream at each other. They have a ton of things to work out. Both have good points. But whatever she did with Giles isn't one of those things. That comes with being a spy. I think the show was pretty cowardly ignoring that once they were together. Bottom line, they are in love with each other. They just need a push to admit it and start acting like it. Enter Carina._

 _I'd be remiss if I didn't acknowledge my friend VSC here. There are a couple of key scenes coming that we wrote over a series of emails, each tweaking things until it was right._

 _I would still appreciate your comments. The worst thing for an author is silence. You can't tell if you're connecting with your readers, if they're getting where you think the story is going or not. And those comments don't have to be praise. Of course, I'd be lying if I tried to say that I don't enjoy the praise. But I actually learn more from the critical comments. Just as long as you're respectful and allow me to respond, you can say anything._

 **The Dusty Road**

x-x-x-x-x

Sarah sat silently in the back seat until Carina had driven the car safely out of the compound. "We're clear," she finally announced.

As they traveled silently down the road Sarah could feel the emotions of the past weeks build up in her. Finally, she burst. "What the fuck was all that about?" she demanded hotly. "You show up in the middle of a serious assignment? Are you trying to blow my cover? Do you really want to find my mutilated body beside the road someplace?"

"Relax," Carina said with a heated glance into the back seat. "Based on what I just watched, you were doing a bang up job of blowing your cover all on your own. We were following orders. Beckman wants to talk to you."

"Orders, my ass," Sarah said. "Did Beckman tell you to feel me up in my room for five minutes?"

"Okay. So maybe I wasn't completely following orders to begin with," Carina admitted. "That was… my own intelligence gathering. I'll explain later."

"WHAT?"

Carina slammed on the brakes. The car came to a sliding stop with a cloud of dust from the dry road in the middle of nowhere in the desert. "I'm following my orders now. We might was well get this part of them over with," she growled as she slammed the car into park. "Get the fuck out." She turned to Chuck who was sitting in the passenger seat. "You, too."

As soon as they were all standing on the side of the deserted road, Carina started her rant. "You two are fucking incredible." She turned to her best friend. "You're a train wreck. Besides possibly breaking every rule in the book, I have no clue what you could possibly see romantically in this man. He is so far from your 'pretty boy' type that it's ridiculous. He's a fucking analyst-wanna-be-spy-washout who works in a damn Buy More for fuck's sake. Enough said?"

Carina turned to Chuck. "Likewise, I have no clue what you could possibly see romantically in this woman. You want her because she looks good naked? Really? That's far too shallow, Chuck. That makes you no better than the mark. She's a burnt out, emotionless robot who doesn't have a clue how to love. Sorry to pour cold water on your fantasy, but her reputation is that she's not even all that good in bed… maybe if she unclenched her ass for two minutes sometime. You're the type of man who, if she noticed you at all, she'd chew you up and spit you out like a sunflower seed."

Chuck and Sarah stood staring at her sadly until Carina took a deep, cleansing breath. "But here's the truth," she finally said. "You are both in love with each other. I can't claim to understand how or why. But it's obvious to anybody who bothers to look. Currently, you're both pissing something away that could be great. And all because you each have the maturity of a five year old. So if you're going to act like five year olds, I'm going to treat you like five year olds. You're not getting back into that car until you've worked it out."

Sarah paused for a long moment remembering the pain of Prague. "He doesn't love me," she said. "I don't believe it."

Chuck did a double take as they squared off on each other. "I don't love you?" he asked sarcastically. "I love you so much that it hurts. I always have. You're the one."

Blinking hard, Sarah's eye grew angry and large. She was too angry to try and be reasonable. And what she said next started an intense volley of words that grew quicker and louder as they shot back and forth.

" _And that's why I had to watch you rolling around in bed with Jill Roberts… with that midget Deli Bitch Lou. What was she? Twelve? –"_

"- like you would ever allow me in bed with you. Miss Ice Queen? Give me a break. I begged you every day for two years for one shred of hope."

" _I offered to run away with you! Does that sound like an Ice Queen, asshole? –"_

"- Oh yeah. I forgot. Right after you offered to run away with Bryce. If he hadn't been killed, you'd be in bed with him right now. Admit it… I was second choice. I'll always be second choice."

" _Are you really this dense? I was never going to leave with Bryce. Come on, Chuck. You have to have known that. Bryce knew. Do you really think I was ever thinking about leaving you for Bryce? Are you really too stupid to see the impossible situation I was in? I was trying to protect you. -"_

"- I'm not too stupid to realize that, larger than life, Agent Walker was never going to be happy with an asset who was stuck working in a Buy More or what it would mean if we ran off. What we'd _both_ be giving up! Are you too stupid to see that I was doing this for you? That I was trying to become a spy so maybe we could have it _all?_ Maybe really _earn_ the privilege to be with you?"

" _You're an idiot! That's not something that you earn! Even if it was, you earned it damn near the moment I met you! I don't want you to be a spy! I'd have done anything to make a living! I'd have waited tables. I'd have worked in a fucking Taco Bell! – "_

"- Right. Maybe you could do porn movies. I don't know what they pay, but from where I'm standing, that's something you'd be good at."

When she stopped seeing red and could focus, all Sarah saw was the image of Chuck sitting on the ground holding his face. She had no hope of keeping the tears from streaming down her own face when it occurred to her what she had done.

But in a way it broke the tension between them. "I'm so sorry that I hit you," she said softly, slumping to sit next to him on the dusty road and burying her head into his shoulder. Sarah looked stricken. If they were going out to a fancy dinner, some serious dry cleaning and makeup repair would now have to be involved. "That was unacceptable. You're right. I haven't treated you very fairly. It was easy to hide behind the job. But the truth is; I was scared. Being in love is a first for me. Admitting it was hard, even to myself. I didn't handle it very well. You didn't deserve that."

"You never told me that… that you were in love… with…"

Sarah was fighting to gather her composure. "I know," she said. "It was hard enough admitting it to myself. I'm sorry. Sometimes, I'm a hothead. It makes me say and do stupid things. I should never have said those things. But I especially never, ever should have hit you."

"Don't be sorry, it was only a slap," he said, rubbing his red cheek. "Felt like a sledgehammer… but I had it coming. I shouldn't have said that. I was being an asshole. I broke your heart just when you were starting to trust me. You deserved so much more when we met at the Nadrazi station. I get that you were hurt. I should have found a way to handle it better. But I knew if I looked at you much longer… if we started talking, I wouldn't be able to go through with it. We'd run and you'd eventually resent me for it. But it wasn't that I don't love you. I can't tell you how awful you thinking that… all of _this_ makes me feel."

"I trusted you long before that," Sarah said weakly. "Chuck, I fell for you a long, long time ago… sometime after you fixed my phone and before you started defusing bombs with computer viruses. I wanted to tell you every single day, but I never could. In fact, I told you the opposite. I was a coward. You're the only man I've ever… um. I can't tell you how awful you thinking differently makes me feel."

Slowly Sarah lost her battle with her composure until she was uncharacteristically sobbing into Chuck's shoulder. "I… really… miss… you," she sobbed. "Chuck, I'm so sorry."

Chuck put his arm around her and pulled her in. "I miss you too," he said. "I'm the one who is sorry."

Sarah was finally able to regain her composure. They sat there for a long moment, just silently holding each other. "I think that I just threw up in my mouth a little," Carina finally teased, her huge grin belying her gruff words.

Chuck lifted his head. "She sounds just like Casey."

That broke the tension and got them all laughing. Sarah's tears turned into a giggle, her face still buried in Chuck's shoulder.

"That went well," Carina said. "I thought that I was going to have to threaten to shoot you. I hope that you both know what you're getting into here, but I'm happy for you. I'm afraid we're going to have to move the makeup sex to the back seat of the car. We're on a schedule. Actually, maybe it's better if we keep it to makeup 'second base necking' for now. When I watch you get together for the first time, I'll want a much better view. And we really do have to meet with Beckman first."

Of course, it was no surprise when Chuck and Sarah got into the back seat of Carina's Cadillac with wary caution, like they were walking on broken glass.

The drive back to Burbank gave all of them time to think about what was happening. For all of Carina's teasing, there would be no makeup sex. Second base necking was a longshot. At first, it was even more than a little tense. Sarah was a hothead. Her emotions had just gone through the wringer. She had been pissed to the point of hitting him. And she wasn't the type of person to downshift that quickly. The first twenty minutes or so was made in relative silence until Chuck finally broke it. At the moment, they were sitting on their respective sides of the posh leather seats, both of them trying to figure out what to do with their hands. "So... you accepted this mission because of what I did in Prague?"

In the front seat, Carina hid her wince. "Idiot," she whispered under her breath.

Sarah glanced at Chuck askance and then directed her flat gaze out the window. "Partly," she said. "It was the only mission the Director offered when I said I needed one. I just wanted to forget. It seemed... perfect for that."

Carina shook her head. Sarah was being far less than truthful. She had picked this mission specifically, knowing exactly what it meant, and over her pointed objection, for one reason. Childish spite.

"I'm sorry... that it came down to this for you. I do love you, you know? I always have. Please don't forget... us."

"Do you? Do you really?" Sarah wasn't going to say the word. "It seemed like you were ready to forget us on that train platform."

"You're right. It did. I wish it didn't. I should have said more, but I couldn't. Sarah, I know you want normal," Chuck said making quotes with his clearly nervous fingers. "But we'll never have that. Not completely… at least not any time soon. If being a spy couple meant we could be together and help people, I was willing to accept that. At least that way we could have a little normal with our family and friends. Running wouldn't have given us that, not a real life. You know that you wouldn't have been happy for very long. I couldn't live with that."

"Yeah, I eventually figured that out. Blind rage has a way of turning to crystal clarity," Sarah said, turning back to Chuck with a wan smile. Her anger had faded. They had wasted two years. "But I hope you realize now what a huge leap that was for me, to throw it all away for you like that. I was ready to do it before you downloaded that dammed 2.0, too."

"Huh?"

"Uh huh. I was trying to tell you that at the wedding reception... before your damn dad interrupted with television soap opera-like timing. I thought for sure you got it anyway... that you saw enough in my eyes to put it together... that you see it now."

Chuck slowly blinked like he was trying to take himself back to that night. "So that was what that was about? Bryce told me you weren't going with him. Did that mean?..."

Carina's chin dropped as she growled low. "Pathetic. Dense. Like granite. Compromised... love sick..." Her words trailed off into a disgusted gurgle.

The two of them hadn't even been aware how they'd been inching closer to each other as they spoke. How their eyes were now finally seeing what they were trying desperately to convey when Sarah's hand came up and glided over Chuck's cheek made red by her slap. That first kiss was tender, filled with reconciliation and want; a portent for more. And it slowly became more.

But after a few moments of trying to ratchet the passion up even more, Sarah realized that despite everything Chuck had witnessed today he was still being frustratingly cautious with his hands; being the gentleman he always was. Damn it, why did he have to be this way now? Propriety be damned. There were times when it didn't have a place, and this was one of them. She wanted the Chuck she saw steaming the windows up with that girl Lou in a Nerd Herder. She wanted him now… partly to help erase the memory of Giles… but mostly because she found herself on fire. So Sarah took the initiative.

Somehow, her hand had wound up on his thigh. The sensation made her fingertips tingle. The tingle became electric as they slid up his leg and ghosted over the bulge in his impeccably tailored tuxedo trousers. Her breath then caught full in her throat. Sarah Walker pulled back from the kiss and stared at Chuck dumbstruck. Either he had a lead pipe strapped to his leg or this was a wonderful surprise. And it didn't feel like lead. Chuck sheepishly smiled.

The exact opposite of what any reasonable person would have expected under the circumstances then happened. Though they were still sitting as close as they could get, Chuck and Sarah had settled back in their seats with their hands in their respective laps, like two teenagers being chaperoned by a parent to the prom, reduced to fervent, longing glances.

In the driver's seat, Carina groaned as she shook her head and her eyes rolled in the rear view mirror. She pressed harder on the accelerator.

"God, I really have my work cut out for me."

x-x-x-x-x

It had been the best hour of Sarah's life, no close second. The relief of hearing the truth… of finding out how dead wrong about everything she had been. Soon enough there might be some guilt to work out. But for right now anyway… wow.

They were in the main briefing room at Castle, holding hands, and standing at attention… ready to face the music.

General Beckman was clearly exasperated by the situation. "Thank you for your brutally frank report, Agent Miller. You are now as fully up to speed on the Intersect and Project Bartowski as I can condense into the short time we have. You have your orders. You'll soon be learning more. I'm assigning Colonel Casey to give you the full briefing." The general then turned her cool gaze to Sarah. "Agent Walker; Agent Miller is now the team lead. If I was your boss at the CIA, I would have you in a cold dark cell after the treasonous stunt you pulled in Prague."

Sarah's mouth fell open.

"That's right; we knew all about it the minute you asked Chuck to run here in Castle. Fortunately, Chuck had enough sense to not get on that train with you. If he hadn't, we would have apprehended the both of you the moment you stepped onto it, and the aftermath would have been grim. Agent Miller has convinced me that you can still be an asset. She has a plan that can make you an effective team. That's the only reason you're even standing here. If she tells me that you resist her leadership, even a tiny bit, I'll gladly throw you in that cell and throw away the key. Do we understand each other?"

"Yes, Ma'am." Sarah didn't know what else to say. She was so beside herself that it felt like an out-of-body experience.

"I'm so happy you agree," Diane Beckman huffed derisively before closing the file in front of her and taking off her reading glasses. "I can't believe I'm about to say this, given all that has happened." Her sharp eyes shot to Chuck. "Don't say it, Agent Bartowski."

"Agent Bartowski?" a stunned Chuck softly replied.

"That's the part that is hardest to believe. I'm reinstating you as a probationary agent, pending further training to get you where I want you. I'm putting Operation Bartowski back into the field. Agent Walker, we should have had our heads examined for allowing you to attempt such an intimate assignment. We have no choice. Agent Miller, Agent Walker; I'm pulling you back off the CIA duty roster. You will work alongside Agent Bartowski and Colonel Casey and report directly to me. Your initial assignment will be to bring down Roberto Giles and his organization. That is all," the General finished, saying the last three words slowly and concisely.

Chuck couldn't tear his eyes away from the now blank screen. "Beckman put you in charge?" he asked vacantly. "Exactly what does that mean?"

Carina made no effort to keep the gloating grin from her face. "It means whatever I decide that it means," she mocked. "You heard her. My job is to get you two working as an effective spy team… using any and all means necessary. That means both your asses are mine. That wasn't figurative. If you're going to remain spies, you're going to have to get past me."

"Wait a minute," Sarah protested. "I've been a spy for ten years. I'm senior to you."

"Yeah," Carina replied. "You were... but get over it. We went through advanced training together. When you were in charge I followed your orders without question. I demand the same from you. And that was before you broke the first rule of being a spy. You've been demoted. You're actually the one I'm most disappointed in. Chuck here doesn't understand what being a spy means. You do. So explain to me why I had to save your cover from being blown four different times already today?"

Chuck could see the red climbing up Sarah's face. He quickly jumped in to try and defuse Carina's gloating. "What don't I understand about being a spy?" he asked. "I've been watching Casey and Sarah every day for two years."

Carina shook her head defiantly. "No you haven't. You don't have a clue what deep undercover spies do. You've been an asset in a very controlled environment. If we're going to take the training wheels off, you have to understand something. You're in love with her. That simply has to be factored into whatever we do. If you really understood her, you'd realize that she's got it ten times worse than you do and has for years now. She's just too emotionally stunted to say it. I get all that. In a way, I'm even happy for you. But I refuse to allow it to affect our performance. Spies don't get much personal time. When you're on assignment, which is most always, you become the role assigned to you. During an assignment, she is not your wife or fiancé or whatever the fuck you two work out. She is whatever we need her to be."

Carina's eyes bored in on Sarah before she continued. "She's now your partner. She assumes the role assigned to her on assignment. I'm afraid that includes your sex life. Now we have no choice. She was the best there was… until she fell in love. Chuck, you messed with her head. She foolishly volunteered for an assignment that she wasn't equipped to perform just to spite you. The morons at the CIA were so impressed with the great Agent Walker's history of success that they allowed it to happen. Similarly, you're not equipped to watch that happen. But now we're stuck. This is too important. It's vital that Giles' organization be crushed. He's far too savvy to play games with. So we'd better, pretty quickly, get you both equipped."

Chuck's voice was pretty unconvincing. "I think we're committed to do whatever is necessary," he said weakly.

Carina grinned. "Really?" she asked sarcastically. "That's good news. For the next few weeks, her role is that of a cocaine addicted sex toy… owned by another man." She watched for his reaction before twisting the knife. "You're going to watch her squirm with her face contorted in uncontrollable passion as he holds her down and screws her right in front of you," the wryly smiling DEA agent continued. "You're going to hear her scream out fake orgasms and tell him how much she loves him. You're going to believe that she really is into this… and maybe sometimes she will be. You're going to watch her perform every sex act you can imagine, and many that you can't, being passed around from one man to another, and all with a sweet submissive smile. So you're telling me that you're up for that?"

Chuck didn't answer. He just looked at her sadly.

"I didn't think so," Carina said. "There is only one way to get through an assignment like that, and that is to get into it. She can't do it, and you can't watch it. We're going to have to change the script. That's where you and I come in. We have one day to teach her how to enjoy sex with you… outside the bedroom. I know that you don't believe this right now, but you're going to enjoy your role."

Carina laughed at the look of shock on Chuck's face. She turned back to Sarah. "Agent Walker, your position on the team has changed. Chuck is the most valuable spy in the world, much more valuable than Casey and you and I and whoever else the fuck you can think of put together… as long as he learns to control the Intersect. That's why Beckman put me in charge. You are no longer his handler. We're hoping his being in love with you is the catalyst that makes him effective."

Agent Miller's finger pointed right between Sarah's eyes. "You're his partner, in every way. The Psyche guys say that sexual arousal may be one of the most effective forms of positive stimulus besides the repulsive emotional ones that we just got rid of. If we can make this work, we'll become the top team in the world. We'll get our choice of the plumb assignments. After this particular assignment is over, your new job is to figure out what inspires him to flash, experiment until you can make it happen on demand, and do whatever it takes, whenever it is needed. You're actually the one I'm most worried about, blondie."

Carina didn't give Sarah a chance to respond. She turned to Chuck. "Your role is as a drug lord. The mark plainly likes you. We're going to use that to try and get him into a controlled environment. We're going to work out swapping me for Walker. We're going to try and get out of her actually having sex with anybody but you. But we have to be prepared for any circumstance. At best that still means you and Agent Walker will have to perform for an audience to sell it. Just like her, the only way to get through this kind of assignment is to make yourself get into it. I'm going to teach you how to do that. This is no place to be a nice guy. We're not talking about making love here. You don't ask her for things. You just state your expectations and watch as she makes them happen. You need to make it a game with the mark to see which can come up with the most degrading activities. Make yourself get into it. Laugh and joke with him while we're performing. Make him your best friend. We're going to use that."

"How did you get Beckman to make you our team lead... read you in?" Sarah finally ground out, clearly trying to change the increasingly uncomfortable subject, her voice as flat as the expression on her face.

"Two reasons. One: because I took the initiative and came to get Chuck when it looked like you were going to more than blow it with Giles. Two: because when the General tracked me and Chuck down after we gave his security detail the slip, I told her I thought you and Chuck could still be a great team if you had a leader you could trust. I'm keeping your ass out of prison. Remember that."

Carina laughed derisively and rolled her eyes as she looked at their dumbfounded faces. "I know, the question is hanging in the air. Do you trust me enough? We can make this work," she said. "You're both going to discover that being in love will make this work… that playing a role with someone you love can be very, very exciting. We're going to be practicing some situations in a while."

She held up a single finger for emphasis. "I'm giving you one night of personal time on your own. Go back to Sarah's room. Make the most of it. It's the only time you're going to have to be Chuck and Sarah until this assignment is over. I'd suggest that you use it wisely. Talk about your future, screw, talk about your future while you're screwing, that's up to you."

Carina looked at her new team. They hadn't stopped holding hands once. She knew that she had to be harsh to get Sarah in line. Hopefully in time, she'd realize that it was out of love. Beckman was being intentionally harsh. She had been willing to go along and play matchmaker… to a point, but she was also itching to make an example out of them if this went south. Sarah's wasn't the only career on the line here. But Carina had been studying the girl for ten years. Given the right stimulus, which only Chuck could provide, Sarah could turn into the sexiest woman around. Ironically, more importantly given the right stimulus, which only Sarah could provide, Chuck could turn into the most powerful spy in the world. Ultimately this would make them all very happy… and the very best spy team in the world.

"At oh eight hundred, I want you back here standing at attention," Carina said. "Clothing is optional… and pointless. You're going to prove to me that you can handle what is coming without getting us all killed. Maybe that should factor into your decision on how many ways you consummate your new relationship tonight. You're dismissed. The clock is ticking."

"We'll start training immediately."

x-x-x-x-x


	4. A Different Type of Couple

_I still don't own Chuck. I'm not sure who does at this point._

 _Warning: There is some fairly explicit discussion of Chuck and Sarah's sex life._

 _I do think this has a foundation in canon. What happened on Sarah's mission with the Giles character in Pink Slip?_

 _I would still appreciate your comments. The worst thing for an author is silence. You can't tell if you're connecting with your readers, if they're getting where you think the story is going or not. And those comments don't have to be praise. Of course, I'd be lying if I tried to say that I don't enjoy the praise. But I actually learn more from the critical comments. Just as long as you're respectful and allow me to respond, you can say anything._

 **A Different Type of Couple**

x-x-x-x-x

"I'm such a bitch."

The door was barely closed. Chuck could only stare at her, fighting to keep her composure. "Don't call yourself that," he pleaded.

"It's true," Sarah said. "I was so… heartbroken… so pissed at you. I have a confession to make. I lied to you in the car. I'm embarrassed. I specifically asked for this mission because I knew that a ton of sex would be required and I hoped you would find out. I would lie in bed at night and imagine you were staked out naked on an ant hill… and that was too good for you. As it turned out, you were right all along. You saved me. I've fucked this all up. All me. I've gotten us into this mess… all out of childish spite. You have all of these problems because of me and the stupid, stupid decisions I made."

Chuck knew all about Sarah's reasons. Carina had fully briefed him. Even so, her admission was a very good sign. He sat on the bed and pulled her next to him. "Maybe," he admitted. "But there is something else I have because of you. I have you. As long as that's true, nothing else matters. It is true, isn't it?"

Sarah couldn't keep her lip from quivering. Finally she buried her head into his shoulder to keep from breaking down. "I'm so sorry that you still think you have to ask me that," she said. "The question borders on ridiculous… and yet you don't know. My hang-ups are hurting you. You're always thinking that you're not that guy. But you are that guy. Not only that, you're my guy. Chuck, Carina was right. The truth is that it's me that wants this far more than you. It always has been. But Carina's also right about some other things. Let's see if nothing else matters to you when we're in the middle of an orgy with Gilles's gang."

Chuck tightened his hold around her. "About that," he said. "Honestly, not my first choice. But I knew what I was getting with you from day one. You may look like the girl next door. But you're so much more. You're an amazing badass. You've dedicated your life to something larger and were willing to do whatever it took. How could I possibly not fall in love with that amazing woman? I decided a long, long time ago that if she would ever allow me to share, even a little of that life, that I was getting a great deal, a far better one than I had any right to hope for. I prayed for the chance that I'm getting right now. I'm not going to allow any petty jealousy to ruin it. Carina is confident that this can work out. I think we owe her the chance to show us how."

"I really don't have a choice," Sarah sighed. "Beckman was pretty clear. It's either I make this work or she's going to try me for treason."

"Will you please stop talking in terms of I… me?" Chuck pleaded. "It's now us. We're in this together. I know you're uncomfortable talking about feelings and commitment. I won't press you on that now. But that's what us means, isn't it? No matter what happens, I'm going to be standing beside you. For me, that means forever. It would help me a lot if I knew…"

As romantically stunted as Sarah was, even she knew that the moment screamed for her to reassure him. She was dying to tell him that she loved him… that she had for a long, long time… that this was forever for her too. After all, it was absolutely true. He deserved to hear it. He was right. It would help him get through this a little. She just couldn't get the words past her lips. So she settled for half… and hoped he would understand the rest. "Agreed," she said. "I know that you worry. You shouldn't. I'm going to be standing beside you, too, no matter what happens."

They just stayed like that, holding each other for a long time. "Let's make a deal," Chuck finally suggested. "I'm never going to be comfortable treating you as a sex toy. We'll draw a line. When we're on a mission, it's just sex. It's meaningless. When we're alone, we make love. We reserve that exclusively for each other and guard it fanatically. Deal?"

Sarah turned her face up to him for a brief kiss. Well, she intended for it to be brief anyway. It didn't exactly work out that way. "No deal," she said. She quickly responded to his surprised look with a smile. "I get that you're not going to be comfortable with this. Carina is going to push us. But you need to understand something. Whatever sexual thing we ever do, for the rest of our lives, no matter how it happens… if it's you that demands it or me that seduces you… if we're alone or in a crowded room… it's, by definition, us making love. The crowded room isn't my first choice either, but it doesn't matter. To me you're going to be the only person there. It may sound odd, but I'm looking forward to not having to constantly be the seducer here. You being aggressive and giving me tasks is exciting. You'll see in my eyes how excited I am. Maybe it will show you the depths of how I really feel about you when my words fail me."

So now the kissing was well into making out territory. "You're not going to be getting many firsts from me," Sarah said softly when they simply had to come up for air. "But here is one. You're the first man I'm ever going to make love with. You're also going to be the last. I honestly think you're getting cheated. But don't hold back. Let me show you how I feel about you."

If Chuck noticed that she had just made a forever commitment, and how could he not, he didn't call her on it.

"I'm such an idiot," Sarah sighed. "I never should have volunteered for this mission. Carina's right. I don't know what I'm doing. I suck at this. I'm much better at kicking the bad guys in the head."

"I've seen that," Chuck agreed. "There's a line of unconscious bad guys from here to Washington as further evidence. But um, not to be indelicate. If I tell you that it looked like you were sucking pretty good, will you hit me again?"

Sarah busted out into an indecorous giggle that brought a gradually growing smile to Chuck's face. "Very funny, Chuck. I blame you for all of this."

"Me?" Chuck asked in faux innocence. "Why me? Because I never offered to help you practice? I'm sorry about that. I thought about it a few times. I didn't think that would go well. I'm here for you now… um… in case you want to… um… practice."

"You're really asking for it," Sarah said, still helplessly giggling as she threw a playful elbow into his ribs. "Did Giles tell you why I had to do that in the first place?"

"No, but he was eager to show me the video feed," Chuck said. "He was too busy bragging how you could, I think he said, 'suck a golf ball through a garden hose', and that you'd prove it any time you were asked. By the gleam in his eye, I suspect that it's something that's burned into his permanent memory."

"Probably," Sarah reluctantly agreed. "But I was daydreaming about the time in your bedroom after Ellie's rehearsal dinner. I called out your name when he was… um. I had to do something to get him over being pissed."

"Nice thinking," Chuck teased sarcastically. "That night just reminds me of how much I hate Beckman. Her timing sucks… no pun intended. Again, not to be indelicate. He gets pissed at you today and you give him… um… a really good time. I get pissed at you today and you slapped me. He's obviously a lot smarter than I am. Tell me what I'm doing wrong."

Somehow, Sarah managed to turn a frown into an impish smile. If she could undo one thing… "That's because I didn't have to worry about you killing me," she temporized. "I'm very sorry that I hit you. That was over the line. If you were after me giving you a really good time, it was a heroic try." She then softly snorted. "Reckless, but really, really impressive. Calling out another man's name isn't really the thing to do on a mission. I'll tell you what. I'll scream out Bryce's name the next time we're making love and then spend some time getting you over being pissed."

Sarah could tell right away that she had said the wrong thing. "Chuck," she said softly. "I was just teasing. I'm sorry. I guess I'm not that funny."

"Don't be sorry," Chuck said. "It was funny. Can I tell you something?"

"Of course."

"When I was watching that video today, I wasn't jealous at all… not even a little bit. Partly because Carina had warned me what to expect. I felt bad for you because you had volunteered for a mission under false pretenses. So you were stuck doing something so disgusting with that creep. But I wasn't upset. It's a sacrifice that spies make. But you and Bryce… that does make me jealous. At some level, it probably always will. I know that it's childish. He's dead. All I can picture is you on that video, doing that with Bryce. It must have happened… you telling him that you love him afterwards. I'm sorry. But there it is."

"It never happened," Sarah said. "Not like that anyway. Your imagination is telling you something that isn't true." Sarah considered how much to say. It would be silly to deny that she had ever gone downtown with Bryce. She had a few times. It was the thing in the bedroom that he wanted most, begged for it constantly.

This probably wasn't the best moment for a blow-by-blow of their sex life. But it wasn't at all what he was imagining. When it came to Bryce, she was kinda a bitch with him. In retrospect, she regretted some of that. She used sex as a reward… made him earn it on missions. The few times it happened, she made damn sure that he knew she was paying off and wasn't happy about it. It was nothing like her performance with Giles. She did the bare minimum required and got it over with as soon as possible. And she sure as hell didn't tell him anything afterwards, especially not that she loved him. She was in the bathroom with a bottle of mouthwash.

Chuck would be so different, night and day. It would be something that she looked forward too. She wouldn't perform a task for him, it'd just be one of the ways that she'd make love with him. She would go slow and stretch it out for him as long as she possibly could. She'd smile sweetly and tell him what a good time she was having… and she'd mean every word of it. Maybe she wouldn't tell him that she loved him afterwards with words. That would be hard for her. But her contented smile would say it loud and clear. "It'll be different with you," she settled for saying. "A lot better. You'll see."

Chuck nodded.

"And for the record," Sarah said. "I know what you heard me say. I was hurt. I was lashing out. It even helped with the mark. But I'm mortified that you watched that stupid video."

"Okay," Chuck said. "It wasn't the highlight of my day either."

"We have a huge problem," Sarah continued. "Internally, you compare yourself to Bryce. You always have. Amazingly you think somehow you come up short. I can probably tell you that you're wrong until I'm blue in the face and it won't matter. Bryce had too much ego. He liked to pretend that I was in love with him. I'll admit that I allowed him to think that. It made things easier. But in his heart he knew that it wasn't really true. After he saw us together for ten minutes, he knew for certain that I was head over heels in love with you. I get that you're jealous, but, Chuck, not half as much as he was. It drove him a little crazy. Honestly you're frustrating me a little. I try to hide it, but everybody we know can look at my face and is certain that I'm desperately in love with you. They make fun of me about how lovesick I am… even people like Ellie and Carina who would be impossible to fool. Yet you seem to have doubts. You're the only one who doesn't seem to know. You have too little ego. We have to fix that somehow."

Sarah paused to gather herself. "You have some stupid, stupid idea that you're my second choice," she continued. "You're allowing the fact that I struggle saying it to convince you that this isn't real. That makes me feel horrible. Here's the truth. It's almost the exact opposite. I struggle because I can never find the words that describe how intensely I feel about you. If I ever did find the right words, it would probably freak you out. 'I love you' seems almost an insult. It doesn't come close to describing how I feel. It seems like something a teenager would say on her third date."

Sarah ghosted her hand over his pants. "You don't realize how much I'm looking forward to seeing what magical things you can do with this… how I've daydreamed about showing you how I really feel about you every day for the past two years… and how different it would be than that video you watched. What are we going to do about that?"

"I can probably think of something," Chuck said. "Since you struggle with words."

Sarah smiled. "I'm sure that you could," she said. "It's most definitely going to happen tonight… several times. But we need to talk first. Carina expects you to be standing at attention in the morning. She wasn't kidding. If I know her, she's going to have us in every position known to man. She's surely going to get around to having me on my knees, showing her that I can smile while I'm doing for you what I did for Giles, probably sooner rather than later."

"That bitch."

There was the amazing thing about Chuck Bartowski, he could always make her laugh. "Tell me about it," Sarah said, as soon as she could get the words out through her giggles. "Chuck, I know her. The drill sergeant routine is an act."

"If it's an act, then she's a great actress."

"She is a great actress," Sarah agreed. "But she's risking a ton here. She's just trying to get us through this. Don't let her Casey act fool you. She's rooting for us more than anybody… well, except maybe for me."

"I know," Chuck said. "Trust me. Our first couple of days together were pretty tense. She wasn't very happy and she wasn't bashful about letting me know. I got the full lecture on how I had broken your heart and what she was going to do to me if I ever hurt you like that again."

Sarah was smiling. "If you ever hurt me like that again, there's not going to be enough left of you for Carina to deal with," she teased. "I can't go through that again. Chuck, I can't."

"I know," Chuck said sadly. "I never meant to break your heart. That's the last thing I wanted to do."

Sarah looked at him for a long moment. "Enough with the guilt," she said. "You've made mistakes. I've made bigger mistakes. It's over… time to start fresh. The good news is that all of this has made me realize just how much I missed you. We've wasted two years. We're a couple now… maybe a different type of couple… but in a truly wonderful way."

"Can I ask you a question?" he asked. "I'm not trying to put pressure on you. But we're talking about permanent things. Are we ever going to get married?"

At least that got her smiling again. "Not the most romantic proposal, was it?" Sarah teased. She leaned over to kiss him. "That's important to you, isn't it?" she asked. "I'll be honest. It's not that important to me. We're always going to be together. That's all that matters to me. What exactly did you think I meant when I asked you to run away with me? If you want to have an official ceremony someday, fine. Ellie would like that. I'm too happy to quibble. We currently have a bigger problem."

Chuck was surprised. "A bigger problem?" he asked.

Sarah was laughing. "We've been necking hot and heavy for the past half hour," she said. "That's not even counting the back seat of Carina's car. You're still internally deciding if you're allowed to put your hand on my chest. How are you possibly going to demand lurid sex acts from me in public when you won't even feel me up in private? Even when my body is begging for it? Can you seriously not tell how on fire I am? I want to throw you on this bed, rip your clothes off, and have my way with you a half dozen times. If I could, I'd do exactly that. But that doesn't help our current situation. Sweetie, Carina's not kidding. If you can't do this, she is going to think of something else… like maybe her and me going back without you. Trust me. We don't want that."

Chuck sighed. "That's going to be the hardest part for me," he said. "I honestly worship you. You're my best friend. Sex is important, but of all the things I love about you, sex isn't at the top of the list. I really don't want to start our sex life like this."

Sarah spent a long time trying to blink away the tears. "I know," she finally said. "I get that. It's wonderful… something I've been looking forward to for a long time. Why do you think that I was so devastated in Prague? Just for a future point of reference, if you're trying to talk me out of ripping your clothes off, I'm afraid that you're heading in the wrong direction. But here is what you're missing. I honestly worship you ten times as much. You've changed me in so many ways. You've given me a wonderful gift that I never expected to ever have… a future… with you. So now my main want is that we have a sex life of any kind. For now anyway, I trust you completely to drive it. Whatever you would demand, I'll be on fire giving it to you. That is incredibly exciting for me. I know without question that you're going to make sure I'm well taken care of. In fact, your main job is going to be to turn some of that off when we're on assignment. Whatever I get out of those times have to be a byproduct. Fortunately, that's going to be easy. So why don't we give it a try? I'll make you a deal. Get us through this assignment alive… and we'll have a wedding."

Chuck nodded. "Will you strip for me?" he asked.

Sarah shook her head. "Nope," she said. "Not when you ask nicely. Not tonight anyway. Make no mistake. I would love to strip for you. It's something I've been trained to be good at. I'm on fire at the very thought. I'm sitting here barely able to complete a coherent sentence. Normally you wouldn't have to ask twice. I'm going to enjoy it more than you are. It's one of those seduction things that I'm going to plan and do on my own pretty often without you asking. I bought something like twenty negligees to surprise you on our first few nights together. Stripping is far too tame of a word for what is going to happen. My mission will be to put on a show that will have your tongue on the floor. But tonight you have to demand. Otherwise I'm not doing anything."

That finally got a smile. "You win," Chuck said. "I command you to tell me that you love me."

That got them both laughing. "Nice try," Sarah said as soon as she could get the words out. "I thought that we agreed. You would tell me with words. I'll tell you with actions."

"Okay," Chuck said. "I'll play. Let's see some of those actions. Strip for my amusement. Make it slow and sexy. Give me a show."

Sarah was already standing and swaying to some imaginary music with a beaming smile. "Yes, sir," she said. "Now you're talking." He said to go slow. The problem was, with the dress Carina picked out, one snap behind her neck and it was quickly pooled at her feet. That left her in only stockings, heels, and panties. As much as he didn't think so, she'd been studying him practically every minute for the past two years. She had an idea of what he would find sexy. That's why she picked the rust colored stockings. It was just a guess that he'd probably want her to keep them and the heels… but it was a pretty good one. So the only thing she could go slowly with was the panties. Fortunately, she had long legs. As soon as she stepped out of them, she nodded. "What would you like me to do next?" she asked. "If you're not sure, I have some suggestions."

Wow. He had seen her naked just a few hours ago. He had watched her star in an explicit sex tape. But that was nothing. This was ten times sexier. When Sarah wanted to, she could plainly turn into a sexy goddess. The night after the rehearsal dinner had been pretty dark. This was in the afternoon. The room was fully lit. So here he was… staring at the most beautiful woman in the word as she posed provocatively for him, making zero effort to hide any of her amazing body from his eyes, her calm smile wordlessly telling him that she was enjoying this just as much as he was and that this view was now one of his fundamental rights. And Chuck knew without it being said. Bryce had never seen this. Giles certainly was never going to see it. This look was reserved for him.

Best of all, the love of his life had just gone way out of her way to make sure he understood that they were forever. All Chuck could do was to thank his lucky stars for the wonderful way his life had turned on a dime. He wanted to throw her on the bed and jump on her. But he also wanted to send a message. So he patted the bed next to him. "I think we'll neck for a while longer before we… um, proceed," he said.

Sarah couldn't keep the disappointed look from her face as she sat next to him. "You're in charge tonight," she said as soon as the first kiss broke. "I get that. I'll obey with a smile. I appreciate how hard this is for you. At least you finally have your hand on my chest. I suppose that's progress. I understand that you want to go slow. But it's been two years. Going slow… okay, but this borders on ridiculous. Just in case this factors at all into your decision making, I just want to let you know… I've never felt like this before… ever. If you have any mercy in your heart, you'll do something about that… soon."

Chuck grinned at the need in her voice. "Don't worry," he said as he plopped backwards on the bed pulling her with him. "I understand the role. I think you can count on me doing something about it imminently. I just need to work into this. I think that you can count on some serious tasks tonight."

"Let's just see where this goes and have as much fun with it as we can."

x-x-x-x-x


	5. The New Team

_I still don't own Chuck. I'm not sure who does at this point._

 _I did a story a while ago called Upper Hand. The premise was that there were things we didn't see on the screen that changed the story. From WT/WT, it became the story of them being secretly together and trying to hide it._

 _This won't be exactly like that. But we'll see some things happen that we recognize from the first part of season three. We've already seen Sarah slap him. Those things will just be in a context of them being fiercely in love and willing to fight the world for the right to be together._

 _So, I'm getting lots of comments that Chuck and Sarah got together too soon. I scratch my head a little at that. In fact, I think in the show, they artificially stretched it our far too long. A lot of people think it's going to take some time for Chuck to forgive Sarah. My basic question is, what has Sarah done wrong that needs forgiving? She's on a legitimate infiltration mission, doing what spies do. And yes, what Chuck saw was a little jarring. But he expected to see something like that. Carina fully told him what to expect. I think that Chuck can separate Agent Walker from Sarah._

 _Sarah had already come to the conclusion that she would always be in love with him, needed to find him, and work things out as soon as possible… up to and including groveling._

 _Chuck was there because he was in love with her._

 _So okay, Sarah was heartbroken and did some childish things. I don't think that bothers Chuck. He's too happy that they are finally together after two years._

 _For those of you who want to see Chuck upset at her, be careful what you wish for._

 _I would still appreciate your comments. The worst thing for an author is silence. You can't tell if you're connecting with your readers, if they're getting where you think the story is going or not. And those comments don't have to be praise. Of course, I'd be lying if I tried to say that I don't enjoy the praise. But I actually learn more from the critical comments. Just as long as you're respectful and allow me to respond, you can say anything._

 **The New Team**

x-x-x-x-x

They were back in the main room at Castle… ready to learn how to properly conduct an undercover orgy. Sarah was trying hard to keep the mood light. Chuck was plainly nervous. So she assured him that Carina was an expert at this and quickly had him laughing at some of the outrageous things she had seen from their years together.

Yesterday, Carina had said that clothing was optional. Sarah also assured Chuck that she wasn't kidding at all. Knowing Carina, she was going to push Chuck farther today than would be required. She might even insist that he include her in some activities. After all, Giles thought they were in the middle of a kinky threesome. So, at minimum, they should expect to lose their clothes soon enough. It was an odd place to be naked. There were cameras pointed at them from every possible angle. More hopefully Casey wasn't somewhere watching. That would be a little creepy. Most hopefully Beckman or her staff leads wasn't watching. That would be a lot creepy. So although being naked would probably earn them some points with Carina, they decided to stay dressed until she insisted.

It was funny. Going on an assignment that included public sex plainly wasn't Chuck's first choice. He was going to do his best and get through it. That was his promise to her. If Sarah had any hangover doubts from Prague, they were long gone now. He was proving how much he loved her with every breath.

It was actually now Sarah who was most concerned. Oddly she wasn't tired at all. That was unusual. They hadn't gotten much sleep last night. There was no question but that her outlook on life had dramatically changed. She always knew that making love with Chuck would be great. It was one of the main things that thinking about got her to sleep almost every night for the past two years. She simply wasn't prepared for how great it actually was. It blew away her already sky high expectations.

Okay, first times were always special. It was natural that the first time would be exciting… especially since she had daydreamed about it so often. Sex had a different meaning for Sarah. It had always been a weapon, a bargaining chip, at best a momentary feel-good release of tension. But this was fundamentally different for her… and she knew it. To the old Sarah, this feeling would have been uncomfortable, scary even. Not only wasn't it scary, she couldn't get enough. And the sex… the truth was that each time kept getting better and better as they became more comfortable with each other. Chuck was unlike any other man she had ever known. He was perfect. He took charge. He gave her assignments, yet he was tender and loving. Where ever he went, he made sure that she was right there with him. He instinctively knew what would excite her. Okay… maybe that wasn't so impressive since most everything excited her… still. Even the cuddling between love making sessions was magical.

There was now zero question. Sarah knew she could never go back to the way it was before. If anything, she felt foolish for wasting two whole years. This was her new life. So now the only place she wanted to be was back in her room figuring out how much better it could possibly get. It was sad that it probably would be some time before this mission was over and that could happen. Hopefully she wouldn't wear him out, although there was no sign of that happening yet. He was proving to be surprisingly durable.

But they had to get through this mission. She wasn't exactly sure what Carina had in mind… and that scared her. Giles had expectations. The last thing she wanted was to go back to that compound and put unpleasant thoughts in Chuck's head about her with other men. He was being sweet about it. Did she expect anything less from him? Still, he had already seen one too many examples of that. She also wasn't crazy about having to look Giles in the eye, even if Carina was going to be able to get her out of any more sex with him. If he insisted on… well, anything, there would be no way to refuse.

Carina had arranged for a couple of sofas to be placed in strategic positions in the open area. That obviously meant that Casey was around somewhere. That was a little disconcerting. After all, it was pretty obvious, in general terms anyway, what they were for. As it turned out, now Sarah was sorta hoping it would include some sex. As long as it was going to be required, hopefully she could look Chuck in the eyes and get him over any issues. Besides, she was already on fire and ready to prove something to the new team lead. They had even saved some things last night, including the now famous thing on that tape, knowing it would probably happen today. So even though they wanted to hold hands, they followed the instructions to the letter and stood next to each other with their arms at their sides.

"I hope you enjoyed your night," Carina said as she appeared in the room. "Are you ready to get to work?"

"Can I say something, first?" Chuck asked.

"Of course."

"We've talked about this. We appreciate what you're doing. You're absolutely right. We both need to learn some things to get through this assignment. So we're going to put our wants on hold, and honestly try and do everything you tell us."

Carina smiled. "That's nice, Chuck. If this works the way I hope, you're going to find that your wants and the mission are not necessarily mutually exclusive." She turned to Sarah. "What about you, blondie?"

"Chuck's right. We talked about this. I got us into this mess. So, while we'd love to have to some time to grow together as a couple, we understand that this assignment comes first. We have to get through it alive. I get that I'm not the perfect agent to play this sex toy role. I could use your mentoring. So I'll do whatever you tell me. If I could ask for one favor… I'm asking you this honestly as my best friend. I'll do anything you ask. But please, please don't ever make me be naked in front of Casey. That would be… going nuclear… for both of us."

Carina's smile turned thoughtful. "We'll see," she said, in a noncommittal tone. "Maybe we'll keep that possibility open… as a possible… um… incentive for you and Chuck to do your very, very best. Fair?"

It wasn't a fair punishment. Of all the things that were going to happen today, Chuck probably wouldn't mind her being naked in front of Casey… if only for the amusement factor. But challenging Carina was a bad idea. It was the fastest way to insure it happening. "Yes," Sarah said sadly.

"It's a shame," Carina said. "Really none of this is necessary. There is a much easier way."

Well, that certainly got Chuck's attention. "How is that?" he asked.

Carina looked at Chuck thoughtfully. "Why do you think we don't just kill him?" she asked. "We know exactly where Giles is. We've had someone on the inside of his compound for two whole weeks. I know enough about Agent Walker to know that she's already committed to memory where every guard is stationed, what weapons they have, how they communicate with each other, where exactly they are looking, when they change shifts, and probably what they eat for breakfast."

Chuck shot a glance at Sarah who just nodded with a sly smile.

"With Agent Walker talking to a judge about what she's seen, we could get a warrant in two minutes that would allow us to launch a joint air and ground assault on that compound and disable their defenses before they knew what hit them," Carina continued. "The ones not foolish enough to try and fight would all be in prison for the rest of their lives. The only sex they would be having would be with each other. At least the ones who did try and fight would get decent burials. So, Chuck, why don't we do that?"

It was actually an excellent question. "I don't know," Chuck said. "Why don't we?"

Carina shook her head. "Because it wouldn't do any good," she said. "Killing Giles wouldn't solve anything. He has upwards of three billion dollars in several offshore secured accounts. As long as that money is there, someone would replace him so quickly that the organization wouldn't miss a single shipment. So we're reduced to infiltrating his organization, sending agents to screw him senseless for six months while we're finding out his sources and methods, all so we can hopefully take them all out in one strike. And if we're successful, we'll have a big celebration. It will be a huge story in the press for a few days about the latest victory against the drug cartels. But the reality is that it will only put a dent in them for a few months until they regroup with someone else in charge… and we're back to where we started. It's the 'whack a mole' game we've been playing with them for the past fifty years."

"Okay," Chuck said. "What happens if we take their money?"

Carina's eyes lit up. "That would be a game changer," she said. "Giles would be finished. Being a drug lord is a highly capitalized endeavor. They really don't understand things like lines of credit. The first time he couldn't pay for the last shipment or make a payroll, his life expectancy would flat line. We wouldn't have to do anything. His creditors would quickly catch him. They wouldn't go to a judge and ask for a warrant. They'd leave him hanging from a tree someplace in the desert. There wouldn't be any assets for the next person to take over. They would have to start from scratch. It would take the next group years."

Sarah stopped Chuck's grin with a look. "It's not that easy, sweetie," she said. "He fully understands his weakness. So access to his money is protected better than our nuclear launch codes. He has a series of remote locations. There is no access from inside the compound. He has several of these secret locations. We're not even sure how many. Finding out was one of my key objectives."

Carina grinned. "But now we know where one is," she said. "Agent Walker did her job. Giles gave his newest sex toy an address. It's where we're supposed to take the ten million dollars today."

"Okay," Chuck said. "Let's go."

Carina shook her head. "It's still not that easy," she said. "The account numbers and passwords are kept on a laptop in a protected room. It's filled with a sophisticated laser activated intrusion detection system. If anything happens, if the power goes out, if the intrusion is tripped, the laptop immediately self-destructs. That's why they have several, in case they lose one. The only way to turn off the intrusion system when they need to get in is from outside with multiple concurrent encrypted access points. The only way to get to that laptop without them knowing and moving the money is to avoid the intrusion system. Only an Intersect 2.0 would have a chance. If we can get you to become a reliable Intersect, we can do that and avoid all of this sex nonsense."

Chuck grinned. "To brzmi jak dobry plan," he said. "Zróbmy to."

It took a long moment for Sarah to realize what had just happened. She looked at Carina in shock. "Since when does Chuck speak Polish?" she asked.

Carina's grin matched Chuck's. "He doesn't," she said. "His Intersect does. You did it. He's now the most powerful man in the world."

"Cokolwiek mu zrobiliście ostatniej nocy, działało."

x-x-x-x-x

Carina went running off to contact Beckman with the news leaving Chuck and Sarah alone.

Sarah sided into him affectionately. "You can control it?" she asked. "This is huge."

Chuck was still grinning. "It didn't occur to you that I stepped up eight times last night?" he teased. "I'm not sure what your expectations are, but before last night, after the fourth time, you would have been carrying me out on a stretcher."

Sarah could feel the red already running up into her face. "You're right," she sheepishly admitted. "It didn't occur to me. I was having too good of a time to think rationally. Sweetie, while we're on the subject, you were perfect last night. I've been dreaming about that for two years. I was worried that my expectations were unreasonable. But whatever they were, you left them standing in the dust. Just to put it on the table, it was twelve times for me. But who's counting?"

That got them both laughing. "That's good to know," Chuck said. "It's hard to tell."

Sarah buried her head into his shoulder. "It shouldn't be hard to tell," she said sadly. "I bit my lip last night to keep from screaming. The horrible truth is I'm trained to scream on an assignment. Giles has heard it even when I wasn't close, in fact when I was disgusted. That's fundamentally unfair. The last thing I would want is for it to sound like an assignment with you. That's just one more thing that you're getting cheated out of. You rocked my world last night. I felt things that I had never imagined. It's something you deserve to know. It's something that I have to work on. I promise you from now on, you'll be able to tell. Do you know exactly what triggered it? They are going to want to know. I'm afraid that they are going to insist that we do whatever it was over and over and over."

"Those slave drivers," Chuck teased. "Does this mean you won't be my sex toy this morning?"

That got them laughing again. "Tell me about it," Sarah said. "The things they ask us to do. For the record, I'm always your sex toy. All you need to do is say the word. I'm wearing the outfit under my clothes."

"You sound like Clark Kent," Chuck teased. "Do you need a phone booth to turn into Superman?"

"There's only one way to find out," Sarah replied. "Don't expect a red cape. Fair warning, don't try me unless you're serious."

Chuck's face turned red at her gloating. She wasn't kidding at all. "Actually, I don't think it was sex," he admitted. "They are probably wrong about that. I felt it kick in when you said that if we got through this mission alive, we'd have a wedding. That's still true, isn't it?"

Sarah's smile turned sad. "I have that coming," she said. "It's what I get from treating you so miserably for two years. You misunderstood me yesterday. Since I'm so bad at communicating, I'm afraid that's going to happen a lot. When I said that it wasn't important to me, I just meant that I don't see it changing anything. Love… honor… till death do us part… those things are already true. To me, we're as married standing right here as we'll ever be."

Chuck smiled at her. "As of last night you can add 'obey' to that list," he teased. "That's very important."

That got them both laughing again. "That's true," Sarah said. "It's incredibly important. My new title is 'full time wife / part time sex toy.' I get that the wife part is important to you. It's even more important to Ellie. So I'm afraid that you're not getting out of this. I want to do it as soon as we possibly can. I want to see the look on Ellie's face when we tell her. I understand what this probably looks like to you. I'm not paying you off for your part in a successful mission like I did Bryce. I'm sorry that I phrased it like that. Anything that's important to you, almost by definition, becomes important to me. I get that you worry how permanent this is or what is my commitment. With our history, it's hard to fault you for that. We've only been a couple for less than a day. This is probably unreasonable but I'm begging you. Please stop."

"I'll try," Chuck said. "Maybe we shouldn't tell them what triggered the Intersect. I'm starting to get into the sex toy part far more than I feared."

Sarah playfully punched him in the arm. "We're most definitely not going to tell them," she said. "I think maybe we have the best of both worlds here. Using the power of the Intersect, you can have your sex toy anytime you want and I can seduce you anytime I want. It's perfect. Just so you know, I have two frustrating years to make up for. Expect me to take full advantage of your new powers."

"Fair enough," Chuck said. "Just so you know, I've just scratched the surface on thinking up tasks. Expect me to take full advantage of my new powers."

That got Sarah laughing. "Fair enough," she said.

"This might get interesting."

x-x-x-x-x

As it turned out, the mission was so easy that it was almost anti-climactic. Giles didn't want to draw any attention to his sites so he mostly depended on the electronic protections. It was a ten minute drive to the warehouse where there were only four guards on duty who were expecting them to show up with the money. All the girls had to do was to dress a little more skimpily than usual, insist that they count the money, put the dazed 'coke buzz' look on their faces, giggle and flirt like crazy, and occasionally shift to give them a good look down their top.

Chuck was back from the 'bathroom' with the codes before they had it all counted. Beckman had the accounts drained before they were back in Castle. Never one to pass up money, she sent a team right behind them to arrest the four guards and retrieve the ten million dollars in the suitcase. It was only mid-morning and the mission was officially over.

Beckman was beyond ecstatic. Not only was the mission a success. Not only did she get just a little short of three billion dollars to add to her clandestine slush fund. She now had a working Intersect 2.0. It was the hat trick of good results.

Sarah's main regret was that she wouldn't see the look on Giles's face when he realized that his money was gone and that he was a dead man, but at least they could look forward to a little down time. After all, this six month mission was over in two weeks. By her calculations, that meant she could have a few months of experimenting with the capabilities of her new fiancé.

Unfortunately, Beckman was eager to use her new weapon. "I need you in Paris," she said. "There is a situation with the Ring that could use Agent Bartowski's skills. Can you be on the plane tonight?"

Sarah groaned. The old Sarah would have wanted to jump into the next mission as soon as possible. Now she wanted to jump into… something else. She wanted to drag him back into her room and continue last night, alternating tasks and seductions until she ran out of negligees and then… well who knows? "We still have some things to figure out, ma'am," she said. "We're not sure yet which act exactly triggered the Intersect. Could we have a few days to work that out?"

Beckman shook her head. "This is important," she said. "You can work on those things in Paris. We can't wait more than one day. I'll give you twenty-four hours."

"We're getting married as soon as possible," Sarah blurted out. "I just wanted to make you aware in case it makes a difference in our assignments."

If Beckman was surprised, she sure didn't show it. "It doesn't," she said. "I expect the same professionalism from you as always if I grant you permission."

Sarah bristled. She still wasn't very happy with the way she had been treated yesterday. And with the most powerful man in the world by her side holding her hand, she was now calling some of the shots. Maybe it was time to mark her turf a little. So she made no effort to keep the tone from her voice. "With all due respect, ma'am," she said. "I really wasn't asking for your permission. I was informing you as a courtesy. This isn't mission related. It's personal."

So now Beckman was surprised. Agent Walker was probably the last person she expected to take that tone. That probably was significant. She'd have to think about what it meant in terms of loyalty. Maybe that needed to be tested. "Fair enough," she said. "Agent Shaw will meet you in Paris to take charge of this mission. Agent Miller, you and your team will report to him. Agent Walker, you can bring the team up to speed on Agent Shaw and his specialty. That is all." The monitor went blank.

Carina looked at her best friend. The general giddiness was suddenly gone, replaced with a look of concern. The color had left her face. Clearly something was wrong. "Who is this Agent Shaw?" she asked. "I've never heard of him."

Sarah paused for a long moment. Why did this have to happen now… just when things were perfect? "Daniel Shaw," she finally said. "He's an expert in the Ring. He's been working to track down the leadership for a couple of years. Beckman introduced us when I was in Washington last month preparing for my assignment with Giles."

Sarah turned to her best friend. "Can I have a moment with Chuck?" she asked. "Alone?"

Now Carina knew that something was wrong. She knew that Sarah would tell her when she could. So she left without saying a word.

As soon as Carina was gone Sarah turned to Chuck and grabbed both of his hands to force him to face her. "I want you to hear this from me," she said. "Please don't freak out. Look into my eyes and know that I'm not hiding anything from you. Agent Shaw and I went to dinner and dancing a couple of times."

That was probably the last thing Chuck expected. "You dated?" he asked. "Anything else?"

Any other time, it would have struck Sarah as cute the way he danced around what he was really asking. Currently she was far to freaked out to feel anything but dread. "No sex, if that's what you're asking," she said. "The first few times you couldn't even call them dates. We met a few times in a bar to talk about his history with the Ring. It was all business. I'm trying to be very honest here. There were also a couple of, what you'd have to call, dates. He was definitely putting on the full court press. He gave me some pretty expensive diamond earrings. We got a couple's massage once. He made me dinner at his apartment that he clearly was planning on lasting until morning. We had a session that you would probably call 'making out' for a few minutes. I had to peal his hand off my chest more than once."

Sarah looked carefully for Chuck's reaction. "I'm putting everything on the table here," she continued. "I'm telling you the total truth. There was no sex, but it was definitely heading in that direction. There was a point in the evening when I had decided to see what it would be like. When he started to unzip my dress, I panicked a little. I told him that I wasn't ready for a physical relationship yet, that I needed a little more time. He took that as a promise, said that he was going to hold me to it. That's really it. I intentionally put off the third date because I knew what that would mean and I wasn't ready for him taking my dress off. Thankfully, I left Washington to begin my Giles assignment. I'm not sure what his current expectations are, men like that don't easily take no for an answer, but trust me. I'll shut them down as brutally as I possibly can."

"Is he good looking?"

Sarah's look turned anxious. There was no way around this. Chuck was going to see for himself tomorrow. Even worse, he'd see that this man was exactly what he thought was her type. That would get his wheels spinning. She could tell him that to her he was better looking. It was true. But that would be counterproductive. There was no way he would hear that as anything but her blowing smoke. "Yeah," she admitted. "He is. Maybe not as good looking as he thinks he is, but still. Beckman showed me his file. She was clearly trying to hook us up. He's an amazing spy. Two years ago that would have impressed me. He probably would have gotten that third date and everything that it implies, especially with me being on the rebound. But, I still had my heart set on someone else. Besides, Chuck, the man has the personality of a cardboard box."

Chuck shrugged his shoulders. "Okay," he said. "What's the big deal? You went on a couple of dates with someone. So what? You were single. I certainly have no right to complain. You stayed fully dressed during dinner. Why are you so freaked out?"

Sarah was never so relieved to see his calm smile. "Thank you, sweetie," she said. "Why am I so freaked out? Things are finally perfect for us. I'm exactly where I want to be with you. So many things have gotten in our way. I don't want Daniel Shaw to be one of those things. We're going to have to work closely with this man. He's going to be in charge. He thinks that I owe him something. We're going to have to deal with it."

Chuck's smile turned into a grin. "I think that you might be underestimating me a little," he said. "I reserve the right to be jealous. I usually wait until I actually meet the man."

Sarah was wrong just a moment ago. Now she was never so relieved. "I know," she said. "It probably won't do me any good to tell you that you have no reason to be jealous… but I'm going to anyway. You are my soul mate. We're about to take a vow that includes 'forsaking all others.' We haven't said the words yet but they are already true. I underestimate you far too often. I have to find a way to stop."

Chuck's grin grew. "Getting back to a more pleasant topic, you need to be punished," he teased. "Expect some extra arduous sex toy tasks when we get home after talking to Ellie. Tell me, can you stand on your head?"

So now Sarah was wrong twice within a minute. Now she was never, ever so relieved. Here was today's reminder. There was just something about Chuck Bartowski. He could always make her laugh. "Sweetie," she said as soon as she could stop laughing. "I have talents you can't imagine. You're right. I absolutely need to be punished."

"Daj z siebie wszystko."

x-x-x-x-x


	6. The Fake Name

_I still don't own Chuck. I'm not sure who does at this point._

 _Here's the deal. I'm at a disadvantage writing about this event. I've never seen Fake Name. I was out of town on business the night it aired and was at a dinner. When I got back, I read all of the people screaming on the forums and decided to not watch it. So it's been sitting on my hard drive for approaching eight years… unwatched. I'm pretty sure it will go another eight. I have no desire._

 _Ask yourself… how incredible is that? Who is a bigger Chuck junkie than I am? I've spent more time on Chuck forums than I have sleeping. I've scoured the Internet for ten years looking for any tidbit or spoiler I could find. There is a brand new episode on my hard drive that just needs to be clicked._

 _I say that's a one person testament to how lazy and horrible the writing was. In talking to many of you over the years, I'm clearly not alone. Sarah telling Shaw her real name after making such a point of refusing to tell Chuck anything personal, is so basically out of character, unbelievable, and over the top manipulative that it becomes almost cartoonish. Not only wasn't it ever resolved, it was an obvious gratuitous shot between the eyes of anyone who rooted for them. It's stunning that they went to such lengths to make the characters we were supposed to be rooting for, so dislikeable. Why would you do that? What other business can you name that so blatantly takes such a cheap shot at its most loyal customers? It's basically that attitude that accounts for why the show is not on the air today. It's why we got the finale ending that we did._

 _And Sam? Sam? Her name is Sam? Really? Is it short for Samantha? There are many examples of wishing I was a fly on the wall in that writer's room. Who came up with the idea to call her Sam? Why not Fred? Or my personal favorite, Bill?_

 _I would still appreciate your comments. Maybe you saw the episode and there is something that makes this better that I'm overlooking._

 _The worst thing for an author is silence. You can't tell if you're connecting with your readers, if they're getting where you think the story is going or not. And those comments don't have to be praise. Of course, I'd be lying if I tried to say that I don't enjoy the praise. But I actually learn more from the critical comments. Just as long as you're respectful and allow me to respond, you can say anything._

 **The Fake Name**

x-x-x-x-x

Sarah Walker was in the very last place she ever thought she would be… ever really, but especially this afternoon… standing in a jewelry store looking at engagement rings. Frankly, this was a formality she would have skipped. They had the engagement ring from their Suburbs mission sitting on a shelf. What was the point anyway? A spy couldn't ever wear an engagement ring on a mission. It was on page one of the Seduction School manual. How could she ever flirt with a mark in a bar when the mission called for him to be distracted while wearing an engagement ring? Chuck insisted. He was adamant that they not tell Ellie they were engaged without being able to show her a ring. He sounded so insulted about the idea of using the CIA prop that she quickly dropped it.

Sarah honestly wasn't paying all that much attention. She could feel her palms sweating… was fighting to keep from running away. She shouldn't be here. This was a place for other girls… the ones who deserved it. She kept waiting for someone to point at her and scream for her to get out. _We don't want your kind here._ But no one did. It barely registered as Chuck and the store clerk calmly discussed various rings, the designs, the diamond cuts. Sarah couldn't care less about such things. She wanted to pick the first one she saw and get this over with.

Then she saw it.

It wasn't the most expensive ring in the case, but it certainly wasn't the cheapest either. Chuck held the box out to her. "Do you like this one?" he asked?

Sarah had to admit, when it came to rings anyway, Chuck had excellent taste. It was perfect. She finally found her voice. "It's so beautiful," she said. "But it's too expensive."

Then he did it. Chuck pulled the ring out of the box and placed it on her finger… and the epiphany hit. It barely registered that the clerk was holding her hand and fiddling with it. She told Chuck that the size was good, maybe just a quarter notch too big… that they could bring it back and have it resized for free. Silly girl… this was her engagement ring… it was never coming off her finger again. Whatever that meant for flirting missions in bars… too fucking bad.

Sarah could feel the tears filling her eyes as she vacantly watched her fiancé hand the clerk a credit card. Suddenly she could see his look of concern. "Sarah," Chuck said. "Is something wrong? Is there another ring you want?"

Sarah knew full well that he was getting cheated. Anyone could see that. This amazing man deserved this life moment with a normal girl… not a burnt out, messed up shell. But she also knew in her heart that it didn't matter to him, that he knew exactly what he was doing when he dragged her in here. It was probably the best feeling in the entire world. If she tried to answer, her blubbering would quickly cause a scene. She just buried her head in his shoulder. "Nothing is wrong," she said. "It's perfect. We're getting married. Oh my God, Chuck, we're really getting married."

All Chuck could do was to hold her, allow her to cling to him, and regain her composure. The clerk was grinning as she handed Chuck the receipt. "Engagement ring shock," she explained. "It happens all the time. This is the first time it seems real."

So now Chuck was grinning back. Of all the emotions he ever expected to see from Sarah, whatever engagement ring shock was, it was pretty far down the list. He rubbed her back softly and allowed her to softly sob for a moment. "We really are," he finally said.

"I love you, Chuck."

Sarah kept waiting for someone… Dad, Casey, Carina, anyone… to pop in the door to start making fun of her… to have a jolly time laughing at her first lovesick schoolgirl gushy admission. But Chuck did the opposite. He squeezed her tight. "I know that was hard for you," he said. "That's why it means so much. I love you too."

"Let's go tell Ellie."

x-x-x-x-x

Ellie sat in her office. It was a major battle to get the penny pincher paper pushers at the hospital to give her one. Most of the doctors worked at multiple hospitals and they also had a private practice someplace. That's where their office was. Ellie worked full time at the hospital. So when she finally saw her name on the door, it was one of the highlights of her career. Of course the name still said Bartowski and that hadn't been her name for a couple of months now. Every time she complained, she was told that the new nameplate had been ordered. It clearly wasn't a management priority.

Actually, the office was pretty small. Devon made fun of how much time she spent decorating it. After all, she didn't spend much time in here. Working in an E.R. there was always the next patient to see. That's simply the way the world worked.

But when Chuck texted that he was coming by, Ellie made it a point to be here waiting for him. She hadn't seen him… well, she couldn't remember the last time. It must have been at the wedding. She worried about him ever since hearing the horrible news about Sarah. His last breakup had him dysfunctional for years. And Sarah was far different than Jill. She was the one. Those two kids were meant for each other. You could see it in their eyes.

So when he popped his head in the door, the first thing that struck her was that he had cut his hair. Wow... an adult haircut. But the second thing was his grin. He didn't look heartbroken like she expected. "Hi, sis," he said.

Ellie was confused… for a second. But when he entered the room his grin was quickly explained. Sarah followed him holding his hand. Her grin might have even been bigger. "I thought that you two broke up?" she asked. "You're back together?"

Chuck nodded. "We're together," he said. "But I'm afraid it's a little more complicated than that."

Ellie inwardly sighed. When it came to these two, complicated was the last thing she wanted to hear. They had spent two full years of complicated. Every single day was filled with complicated. It was frustrating. This wasn't complicated. They were just making it complicated. It was ridiculously obvious that they were in love. Yet their 'will they, won't they' act was becoming tiresome. Then again, both faces were lit up like Christmas trees. Something was up. They were plainly looking at each other trying to decide who would tell her the newest complication.

Finally Sarah couldn't stand it any longer. She held out her left hand. "Ellie, we're engaged," she said.

Ellie couldn't believe her ears. It was too much to hope for… at least so soon. But that huge rock on Sarah's finger couldn't be denied. She could already feel the tears filling her eyes. She couldn't decide who to grab first. Sarah, being closest, got the full brunt of her happy embrace. Instantly she knew for sure that this was real. Her relationship with Sarah had always been friendly… but something was always off. Chuck always told her that it was that Sarah was uncomfortable with affection. Yet, she realized that Sarah was squeezing her back just as hard as she was… and that was pretty hard. "I'm so happy," she said.

"No kidding?" Chuck sarcastically teased his sister. "Are you two hugging? Or wrestling?"

That got them all laughing. When Sarah finally pulled back, it was plain that she had happy tears as well. "I'm happy too," she said.

Fortunately for Chuck, his hug was less intense and only lasted a second or two. "So what changed?" Ellie asked.

Ellie's question was mostly directed at Chuck, so she was surprised when Sarah answered. "I was a bitch," she said. She was maybe answering Ellie, but she was also facing Chuck. "I'm sorry," she quickly added. "I know that you don't like the word. But it's true. Here's the honest truth. I didn't believe in love. I didn't. It was something that men said to get your panties in their pocket. They didn't mean it. The first time things got tough, they wouldn't let the door bang them in the ass. And if love did exist, it was for other girls… normal ones like you. So when I started feeling things I couldn't explain, it confused me. Chuck can confirm that I don't handle that kind of thing well. What was it exactly that he wanted from me? He plainly wasn't after my panties. I didn't know what to do. I was terrified. So I kept this nice, sweet, simply perfect man on the hook, just giving him enough to keep him around, but never really giving in to the feeling. If that's not a bitch, I don't know what is."

Sarah paused for a moment to gather her composure. "I played with this amazing man's heart for two years," she continued. "It wasn't until we broke up that I couldn't deny it any longer. Love existed… and it sucked. I was miserable, wished I'd never been born. I did things I never would have done, things I knew would hurt him, all out of spite. He'd be well within his rights if he told me to go to hell and never stopped to look back."

Sarah paused again to sigh. "But that's not Chuck, is it?" she said. "He never stopped loving me… even when I was being a bitch. And, Ellie, here's the amazing thing. All I had to do was admit the plainly obvious, that I loved him too, and everything changed. Could it have possibly been that easy? He didn't even make me say the words because he knew that would be hard for me and was being sweet about it."

Finally Sarah paused again, but this time it was to smile. "Now I find that I want to say the words," she said. "For the only time in my life, I'm in love… with an incredible man… one who is far too good for me. Can you believe it? In an instant, I went from miserable to floating on a cloud. So that's where I'm at right now… up on that cloud. He wants a wedding. Frankly, that's not important to me. I think right now we're already as together forever as we'll ever be. But here is my new vow. Whatever Chuck wants from me, Chuck gets… anything… anytime… no questions asked. I get that he doesn't quite believe that yet. He has two long years of miserable experience that tells him it's not true. I'm going to spend every breath for the rest of my life proving it to him… and to you. Chuck wants you and me to get closer. I'll do anything he wants, but in this case, I want it probably more than he does. So what do I have to do to make that happen?"

Ellie paused to consider what she had just heard. It was an incredible speech. Actually it was very out of character for her, more than her previous interactions with Sarah all put together. More than anything, that was proof positive that something about her had fundamentally changed. So she stepped up and embraced her again, this time maybe a little more gently. "I'd like that too," she said. "We're going to be sisters. Maybe we could go shopping and stop for a drink or two to get the process started."

Sarah nodded. "I'd love that," she said. "Chuck and I have to go out of town for a few days. As soon as we get back, I'll call you."

Ellie looked at them critically. There was something they weren't telling her… something to do with Dad. That was obvious. Terrorists didn't just happen to shoot up her wedding. She maybe hadn't demanded answers at the time, but she wasn't stupid. "You're going out of town?" she asked. "Does this have anything to do with Dad?"

Sarah was surprised at Ellie's perceptiveness. She really couldn't tell her the truth… not until she could sit down with her for a few hours and tell her the entire story. But she also didn't want to lie. "Not directly," she said. "But in a way, yes. I promise that when we get back, we'll go out for those drinks and I'll tell you everything."

Sarah had just hit a home run. Ellie's face was glowing. "It's a deal," she said. "I can't wait."

"There is something else," Sarah continued. "Chuck wants a big wedding. I'd rather keep it small. If it was up to me, we'd elope tonight. But I was serious. What Chuck wants from me, Chuck gets. So I guess we're having a big wedding. Could you maybe help me plan it?"

"And maybe be my maid of honor?"

x-x-x-x-x

Of course, they had to eat dinner. Frankly, Sarah was looking forward to test driving her new Intersect. She would have been content with fast food burgers and a faster drive to her place. But Chuck insisted on a real celebration dinner at a sit down restaurant. He even invited Carina and Casey to join them. That was pure Chuck. He didn't want to think of them being alone. And this was a celebration. Fortunately Carina had the good sense to decline for them both. "Do you really think we want to eat and watch you two make goo-goo eyes at each other at the same time?" she asked while laughing. "I'm not sure about Casey, but I think that I already lost my appetite. It's bad enough that you keep shoving that huge rock in my face."

So they compromised. They had a quick dinner at Chilis and stopped by the liquor store to buy a bottle of moderately expensive champagne with the promise that the main part of the celebration would occur at home… between rest breaks.

Sarah was beyond excited. Chuck had to step up by necessity last night because of the mission. That was no longer in play. So tonight it was her turn to drive. She grabbed her bag and headed right for the bedroom. Then she remembered. "I forgot something earlier," she called out the door. "Agent Shaw knows my real name. He'll probably call me by it tomorrow. I don't want you to be surprised." She suddenly realized that Chuck didn't know her real name. It's something they would have to fix before any celebration began in earnest.

Sarah looked at the negligee she had packed weeks ago for this very occasion. Her first inclination was to walk out wearing only a smile… and her new engagement ring. That would get things started off with hopefully the appropriate bang. Before her mission with Giles, she would have done exactly that. But maybe Chuck was rubbing off on her a little. This was a special occasion. He did deserve a little romance, including the ceremony of unwrapping the present she had planned for weeks… but daydreamed about for years. So she put on the negligee. She even put on the matching bra and panties that came with it. The unwrapping would now take a few extra minutes. Finally, she was convinced that her hair and makeup were perfect. So she slipped on the heels and opened the door. "I hope you like this," she said.

It was a small room. There really wasn't any place to hide. It only took an instant for a confused Sarah to come to the only logical conclusion.

Chuck wasn't here.

x-x-x-x-x

Sarah stood and breathed a huge sigh of relief when she saw him through the glass. Once she saw his keys still on the table, this was the only logical place he could be. Actually, she had never been in the hotel bar. It looked like that was about to change.

It was a pretty sleepy place. He was sitting alone at a table in the middle of the room nursing a beer. The first thing that struck Sarah was how sad he looked. This had to be about her name. What else could it be? "Can we talk?" she asked.

Chuck refused to look at her. "Probably not," he said. "Apparently you only talk to seasoned agents."

Sarah could feel the tears filling her eyes at the déjà vu feeling. "Tell me the truth," she said. "Are you breaking up with me?"

At least that got Chuck to look at her. "Tell me something. Where is your mother planet?" he asked sarcastically. "You're plainly a space alien. Is it nice where you live? What color is the sky there? What does 'till death do us part' mean in your native language? Here on earth the sky is blue… and the phrase means forever."

Sarah could probably do without the biting sarcasm. But he did have a point so she could breathe again. "Then can we please go back upstairs and fix this?" she asked. "Please? I'm pretty naked under this jacket."

Chuck's laugh contained no humor. "On your planet, you can probably fix every problem with sex," he said. "That's probably why you're so good at it. Here on earth, it doesn't work that way. Sometimes you actually have to talk."

Now Sarah was a little confused. After his biting remark, Chuck stood up and led her out of the bar. They didn't say a single word until they were back in the room. "Sometimes I feel like a space alien," she finally said. "I'm sorry that you're mad at me."

Chuck shook his head defiantly. "I'm not mad," he insisted.

Sarah looked at him. "Then it must be the name thing," she sighed. "Chuck, I was probably insensitive. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. After everything you've seen in the past couple of days, this seemed pretty minor to me. Obviously I was wrong. I'm sorry. I'll talk as much as you want. But in this case I don't really know what to say. It would really help me if you would start."

Chuck shook his head sadly. "Do you realize how much I pleaded to know a single thing about you?" he asked. "You wouldn't even tell me your middle fucking name. And this guy…"

"And Daniel Shaw knows my name after dating him twice," Sarah finished for him. "That's what is bothering you. Chuck, if you will give me a chance I think I can explain. It's not what it looks like."

"Okay," Chuck said. "Explain."

"I keep telling you this," Sarah said. "You keep correcting me. I was a bitch to you for two years. I'm ashamed of that. If you think it was because I was trying to keep you at arm's length, you're absolutely right. I was fighting to not fall for you more than I already was. All I needed was for you find out about me, my miserable life story, how messed up I am, and get all sweet trying to get close to me. For the record, I didn't tell Agent Shaw my name, Beckman showed him my file. It didn't matter that much to me. Trust me, I never have to fear fighting the feeling of falling in love with Daniel Shaw. Tonight, I didn't stop to think how you would take it. It's something I have to work on. I never, ever want to hurt your feelings. I feel horrible. What can I do to make this up to you?"

Sarah was probably never as relieved in her life as she was when she saw him smile. "I over-reacted," he said. "So what is your real name?"

Sarah shook her head. "I'm sorry," she said. "I can't tell you."

That got them both laughing… and this mini-drama was officially over. "It's Sam," Sarah said as soon as she could get the words out. "Sam Lisa Burton."

Chuck looked at her. "Sam?" he asked. "Is that short for Samantha?"

Sarah was still laughing. "No," she said. "Yeah, I know. Everybody I know makes fun of me. I can probably expect a lifetime of that from you. Who names their daughter Sam? They must have wanted a boy."

Chuck pulled her close. "Well, they sure didn't get their wish," he sighed. "If it's all the same to you, I'd still like to call you Sarah. I'll find some other way to make fun of you."

Sarah snuggled into him and got a lot more serious. "I messed this up," she said. "It seems like I have a habit of doing that. I hurt your feelings. I'll be sure to be more sensitive in the future. But please, Chuck, please don't walk out on me again. That… hit… a little close to home."

Chuck pulled her close again. "I told you that I was going down to the bar," he said. "I'm sorry if you didn't hear me. After what we've gone through lately, I was insensitive too. I do hope you're prepared to have arguments from time to time. All couples do. But I won't walk out."

Sarah turned her face up to him. "You said that here on earth, there is a rule against fixing things with sex. Surely there are exceptions… an appeal process… a statute of limitations maybe?"

So now Chuck was grinning. "It's not really a rule," he teased. "More like a guideline, maybe even a suggestion. Why don't you tell me what you have in mind and I'll see if it would be allowed?"

Sarah stepped out of his embrace and allowed her coat to fall to the floor. That left her wearing the negligee. "Here's the thing," she said with her sexiest pout. "I'm not really sure. You were in charge last night. Tonight's my turn. What I generally have in mind is that your ass is mine for the duration and we celebrate our engagement using various sex acts until our wheels are up heading to Paris. I'm not sure on some of the specifics. I'm going to be playing some of that by ear. But there is a matter we've been putting off. It concerns a video you watched and my vow to prove something to you. Do you think you can get that approved?"

All Chuck could do was nod. The squeak in his voice was beyond cute.

"I think so."

x-x-x-x-x


	7. First Class

_I still don't own Chuck. I'm not sure who does at this point._

 _I don't believe we've ever heard Hannah's last name. I called her Hannah Watkins in another story… so why not?_

 _I think I've said this before… about a thousand times. Depending on what day you asked me, this may be my least favorite episode of the series. 3D? Pink Slip? Bo? All pretty bad for different reasons. But First Class actually stands out. BTW, if you're looking for a common denominator, all four were written by the same person._

 _Someone has to explain some things to me. First, the mission. We're told that Chuck's first solo assignment is to use the Intersect and retrieve some valuable intel that the Ring is smuggling out of the country. To get it past customs, they are hiding it on a corpse. Later we find that it is only a key fob, something that a customs agent wouldn't look twice at. Not to mention that the Ring doesn't have the thing that the key even opens._

 _Chuck gets into a fight on the plane. BTW, how do you get from the main passenger cabin of a jumbo jet into the cargo compartment which is not pressurized or heated? Anyway so Shaw tells Sarah to put the plane into a steep dive. Of course he has no way of knowing if that will help Chuck or kill him. Imagine the pilots of that plane. They just lost control of their aircraft somewhere over the Atlantic. That doesn't start an investigation with the FAA? It's barely worth mentioning that we discover out of nowhere that Sarah is a pilot who is qualified to fly a commercial jumbo jet capable of a trans-Atlantic flight… and that fact was never referenced in the show again. Another small detail that is hardly worth mentioning is that they decide that Chuck needs to come home… without seeing the Eifel Tower. So he never gets off the plane. I wonder what happened to the poor schmuck who booked that seat six weeks ago on Expedia and forked over $11,837 for it._

 _Are you with me so far?_

 _For the past several episodes, it was established that Chuck is pining for Sarah and trying to fix the damage he caused in Prague to maybe get back in her good graces. Here she is, standing in front of him broken, all emotional, fighting back tears, pleading with him to please not go on this dangerous mission and instead follow her back to her hotel room for some extended makeup sex (okay, I made that last part up). Not only does he gloat in her face about the fact that he is going, he comes home with a new girl._

 _And the girl. She is a Buy More type worker. Yet her boss regularly flies her, first class, to Paris, to install some network equipment. I wasn't kidding earlier. I just looked it up. A round trip first class ticket from LAX to Paris costs $11,837. Whoever this boss is, I strongly suspect that she's providing him more service than just installing his network equipment._

 _I could even overlook all of the silliness in the plot. You have to suspend a major portion of disbelief to watch the show in the first place. Here is my core problem. If you came into this episode still rooting for this couple, this is the point where you're almost forced to ask yourself why. And for me anyway, once you stop rooting for them to get together, there is very little reason to keep watching. In fact, why do you even like this jerk, Chuck Bartowski anymore? Why would TPTB go to such lengths to make their main character so unlikeable… well, the only reason I can think of is that they wanted you to stop watching. If that was their goal, they succeeded admirably. Millions gave them their wish. Of course they blamed that on the change to Daylight Savings Time. Luckily for the other seasons we never changed to DST… oh wait._

 _I would still appreciate your comments. Maybe you have a point of view that makes this better that I'm overlooking._

 _The worst thing for an author is silence. You can't tell if you're connecting with your readers, if they're getting where you think the story is going or not. And those comments don't have to be praise. Of course, I'd be lying if I tried to say that I don't enjoy the praise. But I actually learn more from the critical comments. Just as long as you're respectful and allow me to respond, you can say anything._

 **First Class**

x-x-x-x-x

Sarah was involved in her new favorite activity. She was watching Chuck sleep. He looked so peaceful… so perfect. She couldn't help but reach over and gently kiss him. She was surprised when he kissed back.

Chuck didn't open his eyes. He really didn't fully open his mouth so his words were more like a mumble. "Again?" he asked. "Could we maybe get a cup of coffee first? I've lost count. You really are insatiable."

Naturally that got Sarah laughing. "You're making it sound like a chore," she said. "You can relax. Actually, the thought of sex isn't sounding all that attractive right now to me either. Fair warning… that's a temporary thing. It could change at any time. I have two long, frustrating years to make up. I'd rest while you can."

Now Chuck did open his eyes. "That was quite an engagement night performance," he teased with a grin. "Almost makes me afraid of what our wedding night is going to be like."

That got them both laughing. "You're wise to be afraid," Sarah teased. "We have to get you in game shape. Last night was just a warm up."

"Would it make me sound jealous if I asked where you learned some of those things?" Chuck asked.

Sarah was still laughing. "Actually, it would make you sound a lot jealous," she teased. "Normally, that would concern me but I'm going to give you a pass today… since you're so cute. I've sat in the van watching Carina in action on surveillance for a couple of years. I've seen things you wouldn't believe… things that defy description… things I never thought I'd be in a position to try. Last night was the tip of the iceberg."

"That's good to know," Chuck said sarcastically. "Now I'm sorry that I asked."

Sarah just snuggled into him. "Can I ask you a question?" she asked. Without waiting for permission, she quickly continued. "Sweetie, I'm not trying to start anything. This is bothering me. I just really want to know. Why was the thing about my name such a big deal to you? I mean, you just watched a horrible tape of me on my knees with a mark. That didn't seem to bother you. Don't get me wrong. I'm happy and relieved about that. But it almost seemed too easy. The 'name' thing seems almost trivial compared to that. And yet, I can see that it still bothers you. Why?"

Chuck paused for a long moment. "It's complicated," he finally said. "This is something that we need to talk about sometime. It might get heavy. Are you sure that you want to get into it now?"

Sarah was surprised by the seriousness in his voice. "Yes," she said. "Let's get everything on the table."

"I didn't get this myself," Chuck started. "It was actually Carina who explained a lot of it to me. Our relationship is on two levels… almost two separate relationships. You're the great, larger than life, Agent Walker. I was your asset. When I first met you, all you allowed me to see was pure Agent Walker. But little by little, I got glimpses of Sarah, the person underneath. I really liked Sarah. I wanted to know more about her. You fought me on that… but eventually you couldn't hide her. I quickly fell in love with her. I pined for her for two years and sometimes acted like a baby… pining for something that you simply couldn't give me. So maybe I understand that better now."

Chuck paused to take a deep breath. "Let's face it," he continued. "The only way for us to be together with our current circumstance is as spies. So I became Agent Bartowski. I'm your spy partner. We're only going to be able to be Chuck and Sarah when we're alone. Right now, my feelings about Agent Walker are mixed. She's a great spy, a great partner, larger than life. She's taught me so much… not to mention that she saves my life about once a day. But I've seen her do horrible things. I'm not judging her, that's her job. As long as we remain spies, I'm going to continue seeing those things. And she's going to see me do things that horrify her. It's not always going to be easy, but for this to work, we have to be able to separate the two relationships. So I didn't see my fiancée, Sarah on that tape. That would have devastated me. I saw Agent Walker on a legitimate infiltration assignment protecting her cover. Frankly, that's not the worst thing I've seen Agent Walker do. I have no right to hold anything that happens on an assignment against Sarah. Sarah would never do anything like that. She's actually pretty conservative when it comes to those things… or I thought so until last night anyway."

Chuck paused for a long moment. "I'm always going to be very jealous of Sarah," he admitted. "I hope that's not going to be an issue for us. Mostly because I see the way men look at her. I don't think she gets how beautiful she really is. And it was Sarah who wouldn't tell me her real name. Applying that logic to our current situation, Agent Shaw and Agent Walker getting together at a bar to discuss intel doesn't bother me at all… and if it ever does, that's my issue to deal with. Daniel and Sarah on the way to becoming a couple, expensive gifts, couple's massages, going dancing, dinner in his apartment, second base necking, and his having her dress half off is always going to bother me. Shaw knowing your name was the kicker. He was getting something personal so easily that I had been denied… and that hurts. So maybe I misunderstood some of the details about the name thing. I'm sorry that I over-reacted. But does this make sense?"

Sarah nodded. "It makes sense," she said. "I guess I never thought of myself as two different people, but I see your point. In hindsight I'm sorry those things with Daniel happened. We were never going to become a couple… not like you're saying anyway. We came pretty close to hooking up for a while. I had mentally decided to let it happen. That was a tough spot for me. No matter what you saw with Giles, I don't sleep around. But I was alone and hurting… here was this good looking guy who I admired professionally… I was leaving town in a few days anyway… and, last but not least, I hadn't had sex with anyone except myself in over two years. But that's all it was ever going to be… and I even chickened out on that. I have to be honest. If I saw a tape of Agent Bartowski on his knees with another woman 'protecting his cover' I'm not sure I could separate it as well as you are. I'm probably going to be as jealous as you are, if not more. The truth is, you're being more mature about this than I am. I'm very proud of you. I'm embarrassed that I'm surprised. It's just today's example of why you're perfect."

"I'll be honest," Chuck said. "I'm hardly perfect. Let's put everything on the table. All things considered, I'm proud to be a spy. We're making sacrifices for the greater good. Personally, I like the power that the Intersect gives me. I'm even prouder of you. You've been a badass for ten years… all you… no Intersect. You've made the world a better place. Having said all that, this is temporary for me. I want us to become Chuck and Sarah full time as soon as we possibly can… probably a lot sooner than you do. That means finding some other way to make a living. Someday, we're going to have to talk about that. For now, it's not going to be possible. Until then I'm not going to give up a single second that I get to be with Sarah. That's the most important thing in my life and I'm going to guard it fanatically. So if Agent Shaw gives Agent Walker a legitimate order tomorrow, I'll be fine. If I sense that Daniel Shaw is hitting on Sarah, I'm going to step in and the Intersect is going to convince him to stop."

Sarah paused for a moment. "I understand," she said. "Sweetie, you're dead wrong about something. For some reason, you don't seem to get this. I'm going to keep saying it until you do. You don't want us to be full time Chuck and Sarah any more or any faster than I do. Please stop worrying about that. I get that I've been reluctant to talk about it. Some things, like having babies, still scare me… but mostly in a good, exciting way. The only things we have to work out are the details of how it happens. I'm honestly surprised that you're surprised. Exactly what did you think I meant when I asked you to run away with me? I don't want to watch Agent Bartowski do uncomfortable things any more than you want to see Agent Walker. Okay, so right now we're over a barrel a little. We have serious flaws as spies. In fact, we're violating the first rule. We're in love. That's a weakness that can, and probably will, be exploited. It won't take Beckman long to think of it. If this gets too hard, I'm still prepared to run."

Sarah paused for a moment. "But there is some good news here," she continued. "The reality is that you're the most powerful man in the world. Everybody thinks that I'm the secret in making you effective. Beckman needs us. That means, within reason and as long as we don't overplay it, we're going to be calling the shots. I don't see any more 'drug lord sex toy' assignments in our future. I'm going to insist that we get plenty of time to be Chuck and Sarah."

Chuck didn't answer. He just nodded.

"Let's get this out in the open," Sarah sighed. "I think you're right about something. I do fully expect Agent Shaw to try and collect what he thinks I promised him. That's how men like him think. I don't expect he'll be impressed by an engagement ring. For the record, I wouldn't tolerate him hitting on me any more than you would. I'm not asking you to tolerate it. I'm engaged… to my soul mate… a wonderful guy who is far too good for me. I'm looking forward to our life together. All I would ask is, if it happens, you'll give me a chance to shut it down before you step in. We need to pick our battles. Hopefully I can insist that he stay professional without it turning into a fight. If we make it a fight, we could win the battle and lose the war. If we're not prepared to run, there are only so many times we can fight them until they figure out some other way to control us. So I'm asking you to count to ten, put up with the occasional smarmy double entendre, and trust me to handle this. Agreed? Please?"

Chuck sighed. "Agreed," he finally said.

"I love you, Chuck."

That finally got a smile. "Wow," Chuck said. "Two times in two days. You must really be freaked out by this."

"I'm not freaked out by this," Sarah protested. "That's not it. You're wrong about that. Daniel Shaw is ultimately irrelevant… an unpleasant circumstance we have to work through. If this is the worst thing we have to deal with, we'll be lucky. Don't get me wrong. I expect that he will use being in charge to manipulate our assignments to take his shot. We really don't have a way to protest a valid assignment… and he knows it. Again, please count to ten. Trust me. If he pushes me too far, he will regret it. The Intersect could kick his ass. I might enjoy seeing that. But I have weapons too. If he forces me to confront him, I have years of practice being hit on by men like him. I know exactly what words they hate to hear. So here's the truth. I'm new at this. I'm in love for the first time in my life. I'm surprised that I find I like saying it to you. It makes me feel good. I'm sorry now that it took me so long. Our circumstance is hard enough. You put up with things that no man should have to put up with. And yet here I am, standing here asking you for even more of that. I'm so sorry. If I think about it much more I'm going to start bawling. You don't need my stupid hang-ups making it harder. I'm going to work on that. Regularly telling you how much I love you seems like the least I can do."

That got Chuck grinning. "I like hearing it," he said. "Please don't start bawling."

"I love you too."

x-x-x-x-x

Normally, Chuck would have been beyond excited. He always got a kick out of flying First Class… was constantly fiddling with the lights and fans like the nerd… well, that he was. Not only that, they were going to Paris. It was one of his bucket list dreams to see the Eifel Tower.

Not today. He was snoring into Sarah's shoulder before they even left the gate.

"Fuck," Carina said, drawing out the word to about five seconds. "What did you do to him anyway?"

Normally, Sarah would have come up with a biting retort. Not today. She was in far too good of a mood. "He's tired," was all she said… with words. Her grin spoke volumes.

Of course sitting next to Carina was the human antidote for a good mood. "I'm surprised that Bartowski is taking the situation this well," Casey grumbled. "Tell me. Did you make a tape? It's something that I hear you're very good at."

Sarah shot a look at her best friend. And indeed, Carina's face was pretty red. "It was in the report," she explained.

Sarah turned her glare back to Casey. "We made tons of tapes," she said sarcastically. "Various angles… lots of different positions… some close ups. Chuck says that amateur porn is a hobby of his. He tells me that I'm a natural. He'd like us to go pro someday. Maybe you should watch them. I'll bet a lot that you could use all the pointers you can get."

"No thanks," Casey grumbled. "I doubt that Bartowski could teach me anything. Tell me about our new boss. How is he in the sack? I'll watch that tape."

All Sarah could see was red for a long moment. All she needed was for Casey to have new weapons to poke at Chuck. Now her look directed at her best friend was like twin lasers… the kind that could cut through steel. "That sure wasn't in the fucking report," she growled.

Carina's face was redder than ever. Knowing that Sarah was pissed, she held her tongue.

Sarah stared at Carina for a long, uncomfortable moment. Finally, she turned back to Casey. "I don't have a tape," she said. "I don't know what he's like. Maybe you can find out and include it in the report. I don't know if he swings that way, but it wouldn't hurt to ask. If you do decide to make a tape, maybe Chuck can produce it for you. If it's all the same to you, I'll decline watching it. The things you could teach me, I really don't want to learn. No offense."

At least that shut Casey up. He turned back to look out the window. Chuck plainly wasn't sleeping as soundly as he appeared because Sarah could feel him snickering. This conversation with Carina was not over… by a long shot. But Chuck knew exactly what he was doing. It was hard to stay mad for long with him kissing her neck and laughing in her ear approvingly.

"And you don't think that you're funny."

x-x-x-x-x

Sarah was barely listening to the briefing. She was too busy worrying about Chuck. At first, he was fine. On the limo ride from the airport they actually caught a glimpse of the Eifel Tower between the buildings. That had him giddy. He was more than cute pleading to make some time to go see it up close before they went home.

Unfortunately, that ended once they arrived at the American Embassy and were inside the conference room. For one thing, the inside of the windowless conference room in Paris looked exactly like the inside of every other conference room in the world. The look on his face clearly said that he instantly perceived Daniel Shaw as a threat. And as wrong as he was, it didn't really matter. She could tell him until she was blue in the face… he would still worry.

Of course Shaw didn't help matters any with the way he leered at her… much like a hungry wolf would look at a stray lamb. That's when Sarah decided she needed to snap out of it. This was a serious assignment. Maybe he wasn't her asset anymore but Chuck needed Agent Walker at her best. Being distracted got you killed. So she forced herself to look at the picture on the monitor.

"This is Sven Roberts," Shaw said. "He is believed to be in the higher echelon of the Ring leadership, perhaps even the Director. We need to be able to prove that."

Carina turned to him. "Are we surveilling him?" she asked.

Shaw just shook his head. "It's not that easy, Agent Miller," he said. "Mr. Roberts is a respected businessman. He's far too savvy to use any sort of communication that we can monitor. We'll have to get close to him some other way. This is vital."

Sarah could already see where this was going. Fortunately, Carina was sitting right there. She would be the logical choice for any seduction related infiltration. The past month proved that rather conclusively. After her recent rather famous fuck-up, Agent Walker wasn't likely to get anywhere close to that kind of assignment… ever again. She was a perfectionist… but this was one time when admitting failure didn't hurt much.

But Shaw wasn't finished. He pressed a button and another face popped up on the screen. "Fortunately, fate has presented us with a gift," he said. "We just caught a huge break. This is Hannah Watkins. She actually works in the Los Angles Buy More. About once a month, Roberts asks for her specifically, flies her to Paris First Class, and asks her to hook up some network equipment in one of his warehouses. We've arranged for her to have serious technical issues on this trip. Our resident expert, Chuck Bartowski is going to show up and help her out… and invite her to dinner."

Well, that got Chuck's attention. "How's that going to help us?" he asked.

Shaw's smirk contained little humor. "Think about it," he said. "A round trip first class ticket from L.A. to Paris costs more than eleven thousand dollars. Surely, the lovely Miss Watkins is doing more for Mr. Roberts than simply connecting some cat-5 cables."

Chuck shook his head. "We use cat-6 now," he said vacantly. "If what you're inferring is correct, won't she be busy with Roberts? Why would she go to dinner with me?"

Shaw's grin didn't fade. "Roberts isn't in Paris," he said. "He very rarely leaves L.A. The trips to Paris are plainly a reward for a job well done… if you get my meaning."

Chuck couldn't help the red that was clearly running up his neck. "What am I supposed to do with her?" he asked.

Shaw looked at Chuck like he had grown a second head. "Get close to her," he said… as if it was obvious. "This should be easy… even for you. She's a nerd like you. You're together in the most romantic city in the world. She's lonely. You're lonely. We want you to be regularly dating when we get back to L.A. We can use that to get to Roberts. Do whatever is the nerd equivalent of wining and dining. Agent Walker and I will double with you at dinner to make sure it goes okay."

Maybe Carina was still feeling guilty from the plane. Maybe she was being a team lead. Maybe she was just protective of her friend. Whatever the reason, she spoke up. "I don't think that's a good idea," she said. "I'll go as your date."

Shaw shook his head. "Agent Walker and I have experience as a couple," he said. "In fact, this will be our third date. Isn't that right, Sam? Besides, if this goes south, can you do whatever it takes to make him flash?"

Chuck looked around. He had to admit, his new fiancé had predicted everything bang on so far. Hopefully, he'd be able to hear her shut him down. If she was going to be as brutal as she claimed, that might be a little fun. Not to mention that he now had his own problems. The last thing he wanted was to have to ask a strange woman out to dinner. Actually, Sarah's pleading look struck him as more funny than anything. So he shook his head and muttered under his breath.

"This is going to be a fucking trapezoid."

x-x-x-x-x


	8. The Other Guy

_I still don't own Chuck. I'm not sure who does at this point._

 _Someone has to explain some things to me. What was the point of Sarah throwing her gun on the bed at the end of American Hero? To me, that was a fist pump moment. Sarah got the good news that Chuck hadn't killed anyone. She was done being a spy and was going to meet Chuck and run away with him. Clearly I was wrong. In fact, that event ended up having no story value at all. Sarah never told Chuck she had decided to run with him. She just wanted his help with the next mission. She only told him that she loved him (she really didn't even say it) until after he asked. I must have interpreted that scene wrong. So how should I have interpreted it?_

 _And for the writers, there was an easy way out. All Sarah would have had to done, was instead of telling him "I appreciate the tank," tell him, "I was coming to meet you. But I don't feel right quitting with unfinished business. Let's do this last mission first. Then we'll be done."_

 _Except you wouldn't have gotten that last half episode of cheap angst for angst's sake or the romantic DYLM scene._

 _So what was the theme of part middle part of Season Three? Again, I'm confused. I thought it was that Sarah loved him, yet she feared he was changing… turning into a spy._

 _There are two problems with that. One, if Chuck changed into a spy, Sarah was going to reject him in favor of… a spy… the main spy who was in charge of changing him in the first place. And two, the second they got together and they were going to quit, Sarah changed her mind. Now she wants Chuck to be a spy. Huh?_

 _So obviously, again my interpretation is wrong. If you have an explanation for any of this that makes sense, I'll be very grateful to hear it._

 _I sorta get the writer's dilemma. The shelf life on the WT/WT storyline had long expired. The natives were getting restless. They had to put them together. Yet a story about normal couple Chuck and Sarah would be boring. So Sarah had to change her mind and they had to stay spies. I would have solved that another way. They were both pining to quit, yet they couldn't. Something always got in their way and made them take the next mission._

 _I would still appreciate your comments. Maybe you have a point of view that makes this better that I'm overlooking._

 _I haven't gotten an anonymous review lately. That's disappointing. I've been so entertained by the pretend coward-ness, the fake mean spirited biting sarcasm, jumping to exactly the wrong conclusions, simultaneously pleading for more explicit adult scenes while complaining about the ones that are there, and last but not least, playfully questioning my mental health. That's been a hoot. Some are so good that I delete them just to keep then to myself. Sorry if that sounds selfish. I really miss you guys (if there is actually more than one of you). Maybe this chapter will inspire you to jump to the wrong conclusion._

 _The worst thing for an author is silence. You can't tell if you're connecting with your readers, if they're getting where you think the story is going or not. And those comments don't have to be praise. Of course, I'd be lying if I tried to say that I don't enjoy the praise. But I actually learn more from the critical comments. Just as long as you're respectful and allow me to respond, you can say anything._

 **The Other Guy**

x-x-x-x-x

"We're not doing this!"

Carina had seen her hothead friend like this… many times. The best way to handle it was to keep your head down, watch out for any potential flying projectiles that were possibly within her reach, and stay far, far out of her way until the smoke coming from her nostrils settled down. Of course Casey and Chuck would have known that almost as well. But they were already on their way to the warehouse where their mark was working.

That left Shaw.

"Think about it," Shaw said. "We're all staying in the same hotel as Hannah Watkins. If you insist on wearing that ridiculous engagement ring, she's going to assume that I'm your fiancé. What if she stumbles onto something? What if she's being surveilled? It only makes sense that we would share a room."

Sarah shook her head. "That's not a good idea," she insisted."

Shaw smiled. "I thought that we had an understanding," he said. "Okay, so this is a mission. It is the professional thing to do. But there's no reason why we can't enjoy that third date you promised, is there? We are in Paris. It is the romance capital of the world. Maybe you can go shopping for something nice to wear for our first night together. Put it on the expense report. I'm already looking forward to seeing it."

Sarah squared off on Shaw in what everyone but him realized was pure battle ready mode. "Agent Shaw," she said between her clenched teeth. "I'm not spending the night with you in your hotel room… tonight or any other night. What part of that don't you understand?"

At long last, even Shaw realized that his attempt at charm wasn't going all that well. "Is there a problem?" he asked.

As angry as Sarah was, his total and complete lack of a clue struck her as a little funny. She forced herself to calm down and lower her rancor a notch. Maybe he would listen to reason. "Look, Daniel," she said. "I'm sorry that things haven't worked out the way you wanted. I was never being deceptive with you. I admire your professional accomplishments. I honestly enjoyed dancing that night. We had a couple of nice times together. In your apartment, I was being honest. I wasn't leading you on. A big part of me was looking forward to it. But things have changed in my life. Chuck and I have had so many things get in our way. But we've finally worked them all out. Things are perfect between us. I'm in love with him. We are honestly engaged. I'm never going to hurt him again. So I'm afraid that spending the night with another man… even if it's only as a cover… is now off the table for me… forever. It's my #1 rule of engagement. I will go to dinner as your cover date as we planned. I do understand that I can't spend the night with Chuck in case he… um… gets lucky. If the mark does stumble onto something, we'll explain that we had a fight and I went to spend the night with my friend Carina."

Of course Sarah hadn't counted on the gleam in Carina's eyes. "I love this plan," she said. "Maybe we can go shopping for something nice for you to wear for our first night together. I'm already looking forward to seeing it."

Okay, so Carina knew exactly what she was doing. Besides the shot that had just landed between Agent Shaw's eyes, pretending to be a couple to confuse unwelcome suitors in bars had been a running joke between them for years. Sarah's laugh came out pretty wet.

Carina took full note of Shaw's mouth hanging open and his stunned look. "Screw the expense report," she said, still grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

"It'll be my treat."

x-x-x-x-x

Finally the dinner from hell was over and the girls were back in the hotel. It was the second time today that Carina saw her friend so angry that she was launching random projectiles around the room. Frankly, that didn't come close to setting any sort of record. "What happened?" she asked. Naturally, she had listened to the entire evening on comm. Hopefully, getting Sarah to talk about it would stop constantly having to dodge flying ashtrays. It was a long shot.

"That greasy bastard," Sarah finally spat. "It's bad enough that he insists on having dinner at the Eifel Tower. He knows that Chuck was dying to take me there. But then the sonofabitch starts kissing my neck. He came so close to feeling me up that he really might as well have… all right in front of Chuck.

Carina knew that laughing would be a mistake… quite possibly a fatal mistake. So she bit her lip. "Did you call him on it?" she asked. "What did he say?"

"He said that this was a serious assignment," Sarah said. "That we had to sell that we were engaged… and for me to be professional… for once."

"He has a point."

Carina quickly reacted to the look of blind rage she was getting. "Calm down," she said. "You know that I'm on your side. But this is one of those things that we were talking about in Castle the other day. Spies are asked to do uncomfortable things sometimes. When you're on assignment, you simply have to separate your personal and professional lives. That's what the job requires. Yes, Shaw is being a dick. He is intentionally pushing you. But he is in charge. This is a legitimate assignment. If he really wanted to, he could have demanded that you spend tonight with him in his room. I'm actually surprised that he didn't."

Sarah sighed. "He's not going to stop," she sighed in defeat. "Is he?"

Carina shook her head. "Nope," she said flatly. "It's how guys like that think. In his mind, you owe him something. You've made it a personal quest for him. He's going to take his time and make you come crawling. The longer it takes, the more crawling he is going to demand. He'll manipulate assignments to fuck with you… figuratively… until you finally surrender and make that literal."

"Where is Beckman in all of this?" Sarah asked hopefully. "Would she really throw me in prison?"

Carina shrugged her shoulders. "Beckman is for Beckman," she said. "She's not going to give up her new Intersect. I'm afraid that she won't see the problem with Shaw wanting to sleep with you. She'd just laugh and tell you to work it out. But you do have some leverage. You make him effective. Beckman needs you. I think, within reason, you have some room to negotiate with her… carefully. But none of that is the real problem here, is it? Now, why don't you take a breath and tell me the real reason you're so upset."

Sarah just stood looking at her friend for a long moment. "She's exactly his type," she finally said sadly. "Pretty… brunette… nerd… she hangs on his every word. You didn't see the way she was looking at him. She's ready to bear his children on the first date. And she's everything he would ever look for. He's probably going to seal the deal tonight. I get all that makes me the world's #1 all-time hypocrite."

Carina smiled. "#1 hypocrite in the history of the entire world is a stretch," she said. "Let's say top ten. I shouldn't have to say this, but I'm going to anyway. Agent Bartowski is on a legitimate infiltration mission. Right now they're just dancing. I doubt that any sex will be required tonight. If this is the tamest thing you ever have to deal with in your spy career, you'll be lucky. Mess with his head with a bunch of guilt and he's going to blow his cover. That might get him killed. Is that what you want?"

"Of course not," Sarah protested. "You heard her on comm. She's never met Roberts. She doesn't know why he constantly sends her to Paris. She's as creeped out by this as anyone. She's pissed that everyone assumes she is sleeping with him. This isn't a real assignment. Even if it was, it's a stupid waste of the most powerful agent in the world. Shaw is just using it to get to me."

"Yup," Carina agreed. "He is. For what it's worth, I believed her too. But the fact is that Shaw's got you by the short hairs. Well, if Giles had allowed you to have any short hairs, that is. When they grow back, Shaw will have you by them. He can spin this as a legitimate assignment that is well within his management discretion. We're talking about a known association with possibly The Ring's top echelon. Getting to him would be huge. Maybe the girl is lying. Maybe Roberts is watching her, waiting for his shot. Maybe Agent Bartowski can use that to get close. You know the drill."

"What should I do?"

Carina made no effort to keep the frustration from her voice. "Come on, Sarah," she said. "Are you being at all serious? You know exactly what you should do."

Sarah looked hopefully at her friend. "Could you talk to Shaw for me?" she asked. "He might listen to you."

That got Carina laughing. "You want me to take one for the team?" she asked. "You know that I'd do it… just to see him with his shirt off. That might be fun. But it's not me who he thinks challenged his manhood. It has to be you."

Sarah picked up her gun from the table and shook her head. "I could shoot him," she said.

That got Carina laughing harder. "I'm not timid about shooting people," she said. "You know that. I love watching the badass wildcard enforcer in action. But shooting someone over the crime of wanting to have sex with you seems a little extreme… even for me. I'm afraid it would apply to almost every man in the world. How many rounds do you have in that clip?"

Chuck already wants to kick his ass," Sarah said. "Maybe I should just let him. That would make us both feel good."

Carina stopped laughing and got instantly serious. "That's the worst thing that could happen," she said. "They're already worried about what the Intersect might do to Chuck psychologically. Having that much power would affect anyone. Your only leverage with Beckman is that she thinks you can control him. The last thing we need is for her to hear that he went nuts and beat up his team lead. That wouldn't go well. It would get her thinking of different ways to control him."

Sarah finally nodded her head in agreement. "If I held my nose and did this," she sighed. "What makes you think it will work? What would it do to Chuck?"

Carina looked at her as if she had just sprouted a third eye. "It'll work," she said firmly. "You know it will. You're wrong about Chuck. I've had some pretty long conversations with him. He's crazy about you, knows that you come with some baggage. He will be okay as long as he understands that it's Agent Walker doing her part of the mission. Maybe it's better if he doesn't know the lurid details. You put on the blue teddy that you bought today, show up in his bedroom, and negotiate. A few meaningless hours of whatever he wants, and in the morning he ends your assignment and you're done forever. He saves face and gets what he feels he's owed. You get out of an unpleasant situation with no scars. In the highly unlikely event it doesn't work, shooting him is back on the table."

"That all works for me."

x-x-x-x-x

"You shouldn't be here."

Chuck sighed and tried to look past Carina into the room. "Is Sarah here?" he asked. "I need to talk to her."

Carina just stepped aside and allowed Chuck to enter the room.

"Sweetie," Sarah said. "Carina's right. You shouldn't be here. You're on an active assignment. Who knows who is watching you?"

"Casey's standing guard," Chuck protested. "I just wanted to see you tonight. Is that wrong?"

"Probably," Sarah said. "But it's also pretty damn sweet. I'm sorry for the way Shaw acted at dinner. He was an ass putting on a lurid show for your benefit. I'm afraid that on missions, there's not much I can do about that."

That actually got Chuck laughing. "I think that you underestimate me," he said. "Now that I've met him, he's meaningless. The man borders on ridiculous. You two look like oil and vinegar together. I've seen the look on your face when he was kissing your neck. It usually immediately precedes a knife sticking out of someone's throat. If anything, now I'm sort of judging you that you willingly agreed to date him."

Sarah ignored his teasing. "I always seem to underestimate you," she said. "It's turning into my defining characteristic. I have to find a way to stop."

Chuck stepped up for an embrace but Sarah stopped him. "I'm sorry, sweetie," she said. "But I can't hug you when you're reeking of her perfume. That might immediately precede a knife sticking out of someone's throat."

"I know that scent," Carina piped in. "It's called Ode De Trailer Trash. They sell it at Walmart for $10 a gallon."

That got them all laughing. "We've really never had this discussion," Chuck said. "I'd appreciate some honest answers. Just how jealous are you going to be? Am I allowed to notice that another girl is pretty?"

Sarah paused for a moment. "You want honest?" she asked. "Okay. The answers are insanely and no. You're never allowed to notice."

Sarah might have been laughing, but to his credit, Chuck realized that she wasn't really kidding. "Duly noted," he said. "At least you were honest. In my defense, I'd just like to say that Hannah is pretty… but she looks pretty plain standing next to you."

"Is that what you really think?" Sarah asked. "Or are you just trying to get out of trouble?"

"It's what I really think," Chuck insisted. After a beat he continued. "And I hope that it gets me out of trouble. Two birds… one stone."

There was today's reminder. No matter how angry or depressed she was, he could always make her laugh. "Well played," Sarah said. "Sweetie, I get that I'm sending you mixed messages. I'm sorry about that. But listen to me. You can't feel any guilt here. You haven't done a thing wrong. In fact you're doing great. As your partner, I'm very proud of you. But this has just started. When we get back home, Shaw is going to insist that you continue to romance her, to get close to her, maybe to even move in with her. As your fiancé, I'm struggling with that. With what you saw with Giles without complaint, I know it makes me a huge hypocrite, but it's a fact that we have to deal with. Carina and I were just discussing options that would allow Agent Walker to get us out of this assignment. What those options are, I'd rather not say… yet. I don't want you worrying about it while you're on an assignment. So I'm asking for a huge favor. Allow your partner to handle this without involving you."

Chuck looked at her. She was suddenly deadly serious. "Are you going to be in danger?" he asked.

Sarah shook her head. "No," she said. "I promise I won't ever knowingly put myself in danger without you knowing and there to protect me. That's not what this is about. I'm not even sure yet what I'm going to do. But if it all goes down, Carina agrees that you're better off not knowing. You need to stick to your assignment and not worry about it. Agreed?"

Chuck saw the gun lying on the table. He didn't have to ask how badass Agent Walker would solve a problem like this. In this situation it was actually Carina who was the wildcard. Who knew what she would come up with? "Agreed," he finally said.

"We can talk later."

x-x-x-x-x

One of the first things that a spy was taught in training was how to be a light sleeper. Still, Agent Walker was even better trained and very skilled at stealth approach. So he didn't see her until she was standing beside his bed. The room wasn't that well-lit, but it wasn't completely dark either. She had left the door open on purpose with the light shining strategically at her side. It was like she was standing in a spotlight. He could barely believe his eyes. The blue, whatever it was, hid nothing. If anything, it simply highlighted the fact that she was naked. "Sarah?" he asked. "What are you doing here? I thought that we had an agreement."

"I'm not Sarah," she protested. "I'm not Sam. I'm not whoever the fuck you think I am. My name is Agent Walker. I'd like to change our agreement and make a deal with you."

That got his attention. "What deal?" he asked.

Sarah smiled at his typical lack of a clue. Why would she possibly be standing in his bedroom basically naked wearing some invisible blue teddy, whore red lipstick, and high heels? "Simple," she said. "I owe you something. We both know it. I never meant to cheat you. Things just happened too fast between us. In fact it was tonight when I first realized that I had cheated you. I honestly feel bad about that. It just happened that way. So I'm here to pay off. If I do this, we need to agree that there is zero romance involved. I'm here willingly paying my debt using the only currency I have at my disposal. This is a onetime offer. Tonight is pure sex. Except possibly the occasional groan, I don't anticipate much conversation. I'll become your faux submissive toy and use my training to make this night all about you in every detail… for as many times as you're physically able. When the sun comes up, you drag your limp, sorry ass out of this bed and help me get us out of our current assignment. Deal?"

Okay, so maybe he was clueless, but what idiot would turn that down? "Deal," he said.

Sarah sauntered closer to the bed and raised her arms straight up into the air in a plain signal. "Good answer," she said.

"Maybe you'd like to get things started by unwrapping your new toy."

x-x-x-x-x


	9. The Honeymooners

_I still don't own Chuck. I'm not sure who does at this point._

 _There were several times in the show when Chuck and Sarah considered running. The first was in Colonel, but they also considered it in Pink Slip, American Heroes, and Honeymooners._

 _The thing is they never really discussed what running would mean. The government was never going to just allow the Intersect to walk away. How could they ever see Ellie or Morgan again? How would they live? What would they do for money? Did Agent Walker really allow them to get caught in Colonel because Chuck used his cell phone?_

 _I think the show maybe missed a good opportunity. Let them run for an arc, maybe even a season. Show desperate life on the run with the CIA in hot pursuit. It could have been very romantic. Maybe Sarah gets that job waiting tables at Applebee's. Maybe they use the Intersect and take some of Beckman's slush fund. They almost certainly would run into bad guys for Chuck to flash on. What would they do? Would they fight as closet spies?_

 _The worst thing for an author is silence. You can't tell if you're connecting with your readers, if they're getting where you think the story is going or not. And those comments don't have to be praise. Of course, I'd be lying if I tried to say that I don't enjoy the praise. But I actually learn more from the critical comments. Just as long as you're respectful and allow me to respond, you can say anything._

 **The Honeymooners**

x-x-x-x-x

Chuck watched as Sarah placed the tray of food on the table. "Did you really answer the door dressed like that?" he asked. The… well, you'd probably call it a nightgown wasn't quite as invisible as the blue teddy last night. But it was probably a distinction without a difference. The way the top clung to her soft curves left little of her figure to the imagination and was maybe even sexier. "I sure hope the porter didn't expect a tip."

Sarah was laughing as she sat at the table. "Why don't you come and eat your breakfast while you still have a chance?" she teased. "I keep telling you this. Agent Walker has been trained to not worry about men seeing her without many clothes. It's one of those things that are probably going to carry over to Sarah Bartowski. I'm not necessarily trying to flash strange men, I really just don't think about it. The last thing I would want would be for my lack of modesty to cause problems for us. So if it ever bothers you, you're going to have to remind me."

Chuck sat at the table next to her. "Maybe this is something that is going to get me in trouble someday," he said. "But I kinda like it. Why have an original Rembrandt that nobody gets to see? It reflects well on me. Anyone who could share such a small cabin with a babe this hot must have something going for him, right? It'd be almost impossible not to touch in some way."

That got them laughing. Both were pretty hungry, so for a long moment they just sat silently eating their eggs benedict. "So where does this train go anyway?" Chuck finally asked.

Sarah was still giggling. "Does it really matter?" she asked. "I think somewhere in the Swiss Alps. Wherever it goes, you're unlikely to see any of it unless you peak out the window. As long as the porter is assuming it anyway, I intend on keeping you fully occupied. You had your turn last night. By the way, you were an absolute pig. I'm very proud of you. And here I thought you'd be shy about this sort of thing. Your demands were most impressive. It takes a lot to get me to blush. I didn't think you had that in you. I'll have to remember that the next time I offer to become your sex toy."

"You said that you owed me something," Chuck said. "I have no idea what that could be… but what moron would turn down the chance to collect on that debt?"

"I didn't say that I owed you something," Sarah corrected. "I said that Agent Walker did. Giles got something from her that you never did. That is beyond unacceptable. I've treated you so horribly. Sweetie, you've been so great at not holding what you saw against me. I know now that I couldn't do it. So the least that Agent Walker could do was to spend her last sex act making that up to you. Consider the debt paid in full."

"Paid in full?" Chuck teased. "Wait a minute. You were with Giles for weeks. I get one night?"

That got Sarah laughing again. "I'm afraid so," she said. "He might have gotten more quantity. You'll have to settle for quality."

"Can we talk about this?" Chuck teased. "Hopefully we can negotiate."

Sarah stopped laughing. "Not about that," she said. "I had an epiphany last night. I'm asking far, far too much of you. I've been asking things of you that I would have no hope of doing. That has to stop. So here is my promise. Unless you insist, Agent Walker is never going to have sex again. I'm afraid that you're now stuck with Sarah. Luckily for you, there will be little need to negotiate for more sex role playing with Sarah. She is actually looking forward to it more than Agent Walker was. She can't wait for the first playtime when she assumes the role of your toy. Play your cards right and that could turn into a semi-regular thing. I'm thinking with a little bit of planning, we can break out some toys and you could push the envelope even a little further."

Chuck looked at her. Sure, she had just been laughing, but she was also deadly serious. "Are we running?" he asked. "Aren't we currently AWOL?"

Sarah slid over to sit on his lap. "That's exactly what we have to decide," she said. "You get an honest vote. In fact, the real truth is that you get to make this decision. I'm just going to tell you where I'm at. We're not currently AWOL. Hannah is on her way back home. Carina is covering for us. But we have a day… two tops before we will have to make a decision."

"Okay," Chuck said. "Talk to me. Where are you?"

Sarah immediately got serious. "This is the time for complete honesty," she said. "My instinct is to keep my feelings bottled up. Your instinct is to tell me what you think I want to hear. That usually works out for us… but it doesn't help us here. It'll lead us to bad decisions that we'll be stuck with. So I'm going to work really hard at opening up to you. You have to work really hard at telling me the truth. Agreed?"

"Agreed," Chuck said. "In my defense, what you want to hear is always going to be a huge factor in what I truly want."

Sarah was now blinking tears from her eyes. "Here's the deal," she said. "I get that you feel called to be a spy. There are a couple of things I fear, but that's mostly a very good thing. I'm proud of you. The last thing I would want is to get in your way on that. But… Chuck… please don't make me go back to the way things were in Prague. I can't do that."

Chuck put his arm around her and pulled her close. "That really messed you up," he said. "I feel horrible."

Sarah snuggled comfortably into his neck. "I'm not trying to make you feel horrible," she said. "Yes, it messed me up… more than understood… more than I ever thought possible. Some of that is still there. You shouldn't feel horrible. You had valid reasons for what you did that I just misunderstood. All I'm saying is that things are different for me now. Don't get me wrong. I've loved you for a long, long time. I absolutely have. Nothing has really changed. I'm just now learning how intense the feeling is. Now that I understand how wonderful this is, I'm panicked at the thought of losing it. I get that we agreed to set aside our agent lives from our personal ones. I'm really struggling with that. I've never thought of myself as clingy before. I'm a little embarrassed. But the truth is, seeing you all charming with her last night was tough. Knowing that you were watching Shaw kissing my neck and feeling me up was tough. Seeing the 'jump me' look on her face all night was even tougher. I get that we're proud to be spies. I still think that's a noble thing. It's just going to be very hard watching you sleep with other women. Okay, call me a hypocrite. I get that."

Chuck just held her for a long moment. "Listen to me very closely," he said. "There is no need to panic. I can't go back to the way things were either. Your happiness is my top priority… over being a spy… over anything… no close second. I don't think you're a hypocrite. Not even close. It would bother me to see you have sex with another man. Maybe I was trying to put a positive spin on it, but I never said that seeing that tape of you and Giles didn't bother me at some level. Something would be seriously wrong if it didn't bother me. I just said that I was willing to set it aside as part of the price we'd have to pay to be together. If we're no longer willing to pay that price, I'm more than fine with that. But the reason we're doing this in the first place is that Beckman was going to charge you with treason. What's changed?"

"That's not the only reason," Sarah protested. "You don't think I'll be happy if I'm not a spy, remember?"

"Okay," Chuck admitted. "Let's deal with that. I've known you for a while now. You are all about the next mission. Are you sure you can be happy when there is no next mission?"

"I'm sure," Sarah said. "Yes, when we first met, you were exactly right. It hasn't been true for a while now. The truth is I'm tired. I've given them everything I have. I don't have much left. So we can deal with that pretty simply. You're just wrong… dead wrong. You were wrong in Prague and you're wrong now. Please stop thinking that. But the answer to your previous question is Shaw. He's what changed."

Sarah saw his look. "Please count to ten," she quickly said. "Shaw hasn't done anything unprofessional. I would tell you if he had. He knows that he doesn't have to. He can keep you on assignment romancing Hannah Watkins for weeks… months if he wanted."

"She doesn't know anything," Chuck protested. "This is a waste of time."

"I know," Sarah said. "Shaw knows it too. But he is well within his rights to assign you to make sure. Maybe Roberts will contact her. But the real reason is that Shaw thinks I owe him something. He is punishing me, wants me to pay off."

Chuck pounded the table. "That sonofabitch," he shouted. "He told you that if you would sleep with him that he'd end the assignment?"

Sarah shook her head. "He'd never say that," she corrected. "Please calm down. Shaw is a dick, but he's not stupid. He understands the rules perfectly. He knows that if he ever went on record trying to coerce a subordinate into sex that I'd have him in front of an ethics disciplinary panel faster than he could blink. He doesn't have to do anything like that. He's holding all the cards. He's just going to wait until I come crawling to him."

Chuck looked at her and sighed. "So you go to him and offer him sex," he said. "Suddenly he decides that this assignment is a dead end and we move on?"

"You've got it about right," Sarah admitted. "Just that it would be more than just sex. He wants me to crawl… figuratively and literally. Carina thinks one night would do it. Shaw would accept my groveling, save face, and move on."

"Maybe," Chuck said. "Or he decides he likes having a sex slave and comes up with another assignment in a couple of months… and another… and another."

Sarah nodded. "It's possible," she admitted. "I do think he's smart enough to know that he can't play that card more than once. We'll figure out a way to trap him. For all of its faults, the agency understands that female agents are vulnerable and tries to protect them when possible. They take any harassment very seriously. If we could prove any attempt at a quid pro quo, he'd be toast."

"What are you going to do?"

In spite of the tense situation that got a smile. "You don't get this, do you?" Sarah asked. "This is your decision. The way I see it, we have three choices. You can continue doing what you're doing and simply wait Shaw out. We can pay Shaw off and hope he's satisfied with my single night of surrender. Or we can run. All of those options have serious ramifications."

"I could kick his ass," Chuck said.

Sarah nodded. "You could," she said. "Easily. I'd love seeing it. But we'd win a small battle and lose the large war. If they lose confidence in their ability to control you…"

"I don't want you spending the night with Shaw," Chuck said. "It's not just the sex. Under the right circumstances, I could probably put that aside. I don't want that smug bastard to feel like he won something."

"Agreed," Sarah said. "It would be awful. The only way I would do it is if you asked me. Likewise, I don't want you spending the night with Hannah. It's not just the sex… it's everything. I don't want you to date her, to smile at her, much less have sex with her. I never thought that I'd be this possessive… but I am."

Chuck paused for a long moment. "Can I tell you something?" he asked. "I don't want you to feel jealous. I know what that feels like. I lived it constantly for two years. Here's the deal. If you really understood how strongly I feel about you, you would feel silly for being jealous. Yes, I'm jealous of Shaw. Guilty. But I feel silly. You've done nothing wrong."

At least that got Sarah smiling again. "That was nice," she said. "You're right. I do feel a little silly. You've also done nothing wrong here. But it's also not going to change anything. I don't really share very well. You're my guy and the rest of the world can just stay away. The good news is that, unlike Shaw, we have little to lose by me kicking her ass."

Chuck looked at her. She was smiling, but she was also deadly serious. "Please don't kick her ass," he said. "She hasn't done anything wrong."

Sarah shook her head. "She's ready to bear your children," she protested. "You could have easily sealed the deal last night. Bryce would be eating room service breakfast with her as we speak. You're just not experienced enough to read the 'jump me' signs she was flashing. For me, right now, that's a capital offense. An ass kicking would be getting off easy."

"I guess that just leaves one option," Chuck sighed.

"I agree," Sarah said. "But let's get everything on the table. Running means some things. Beckman isn't going to just let us walk away… not with you being the Intersect. We'll have committed treason. She has unlimited resources to hunt for us. So we're going to have to assume new identities and lay low. That means we're not going to be able to contact Ellie… at least for a while. That will be hard for us both. It means you're not going to get your big wedding. This is a lifelong decision. Is it what you really want?"

Chuck nodded. "I want you," he said. "I always have. If this is the only way, we'll make it work."

Sarah's sigh of relief was plain. "Agreed," she said. "As long as we're together."

"What about money?" Chuck asked. "How will we live? We're really not going to work at Taco Bell, are we?"

"I have some money put away," Sarah said. "I planned on this happening in Prague, remember? I have new identities prepared for us both. By the way, our new identities are married."

Chuck grinned. "I guess that makes this our honeymoon," he said. "Welcome to the family, Mrs. Bartowski."

Sarah grinned back. "I'm afraid it's not Bartowski," she said. "We're Chuck and Sarah Conner. Welcome to the family, Mr. Conner."

"They're going to be looking for us," Chuck said. "How much money do you have? Can we stay ahead of them?"

"We're going to have to be very careful for the first couple of months," Sarah said. "It's probably best if we stay out of the country for a while. I'm thinking someplace in the Caribbean. There are tons of small islands where money can buy privacy. We'll lie on the beach drinking rum until the CIA's scent grows cold. I have to tell you something. Making love in the surf has always been a fantasy of mine. I expect you to make that come true for me… multiple times. I'll make a fantasy or two come true for you in return."

"You so have a deal," Chuck said. "I'm thinking that not many clothes are going to be worn, but other than that, this sounds expensive. How long will our money last?"

"We have assets," Sarah said. "You're the most powerful man in the world. Men are still going to want to try and look down my shirt. As long as those things are true, we might as well take advantage. Tons of drug deals go down in that part of the world. Millions of dollars in untraceable cash belonging to some not very nice guys is just sitting there for the taking."

Chuck grinned. "Now I get why you won't be bored," he said. "You would enjoy taking Giles's money."

Sarah's smile turned upside down. "I'm not looking for the next mission," she insisted. "I won't be bored either way. It's got nothing to do with that. Giles is dead but there are plenty others like him. You have to admit. We'd be doing a good deed and become fabulously rich at the same time. Once the heat is off, I'm very content to find a house in some quiet suburb someplace and start our family. I'm not sure what it's going to take to get you to believe that."

"I believe it," Chuck said. "I was teasing. I'm sorry if you think I'm questioning you. So doesn't playing Robin Hood with the drug cartels need some intel? I'm not crazy about being on the inside of that culture. We just touched that hot stove."

"Nothing like that," Sarah said. "We're not looking for evidence to put anyone in prison. We're retired from that. We're just going to hit some deals going down, take the money, and destroy the drugs. With the Intersect, that will be like taking candy from a baby."

"Understand something," Chuck said. "I get that we're underground fighting for our freedom. I really don't mind taking money from drug runners. Although technically illegal, it seems like the right thing to do. Taking candy from a baby? That's where I draw the line."

And there it was. Today's reminder. He could always make her laugh. "Duly noted," Sarah said. "A few million and we're set for life. Carina will feed us the DEA Intel. She'll still be on the inside. There are tons of deals that they know about, yet can't do anything because they happen outside the country. It's very frustrating for them. So, in a way, we're doing them a big favor. Suddenly, you and I are free from those sorts of rules. That's something I won't miss."

"Won't she be committing treason?" Chuck asked.

That got Sarah grinning again. "Of course," she said. "We have established off the grid ways to communicate. This is all pretty much her idea. She knows exactly what to do and not do. She'll never get caught. In case you hadn't noticed, she will do almost anything for me. Rules don't bother her much. Of course her first choice was for me to go pay Shaw's price last night and just never tell you about it. Nobody's perfect."

"She's a good friend," Chuck admitted. "I've underestimated her."

"So," Sarah said. "Now that we've got that settled, I'm thinking it's time for some serious honeymoon action. We're being cheated out of so many things. The things we do get, we're going to have to seize firmly with both hands."

"I agree," Chuck teased. "I've actually never been on a honeymoon before. I'm not sure what to do."

Sarah planted a quick kiss, handed him the hem of her nightgown, and raised her arms in the air in a clear signal.

"I'd suggest that you seize this firmly with both hands… and figure it out."

x-x-x-x-x


	10. Desperate Times

_I still don't own Chuck. I'm not sure who does at this point._

 _The worst thing for an author is silence. You can't tell if you're connecting with your readers, if they're getting where you think the story is going or not. And those comments don't have to be praise. Of course, I'd be lying if I tried to say that I don't enjoy the praise. But I actually learn more from the critical comments. Just as long as you're respectful and allow me to respond, you can say anything._

 **Desperate Times**

x-x-x-x-x

Chuck was trying in vain to catch his breath. Finally he was so exhausted that he was forced to drop to his knees. Sarah watched him struggle with the concern plainly written all over her face. "Are you sure that you're all right?" she finally asked. "You don't look so good."

Chuck was finally able to force enough air in his lungs to speak. "That was awful," he panted. "Are all of my assignments going to be this brutal? I knew that life on the run would bring some desperate times. But are you trying to kill me in the first two weeks?"

At last Sarah knew that he would survive… and that got her laughing. "Wow," she said. "First of all, this wasn't an assignment. You're the one that suggested that we race. And two weeks? We've already been here a month."

Chuck was still panting. They were on a small island someplace in the Caribbean Sea. The route Sarah took them to avoid the CIA's ever present eyes took almost a week to get here. Naturally, she avoided any public transportation. They got out of Europe on a Russian cargo ship. That was a long few days. Sarah was right when she said that, even as a civilian, men would still be trying to look down her shirt. But her flirting smile did get them secretly out of Europe. It was a tactic that she had obviously used before. At least this time she kept herself hidden most of the time to keep out of sight of the captain and all-male crew. Chuck didn't ask about the previous times.

From Panama it was a series of small chartered boats and seaplanes. Finally they were here… wherever here was. Sarah called it a cay. That clearly was a fancy word for a ridiculously small island. But it definitely was gorgeous. The snow white beach ringed the entire island. The crystal clear blue water was something right out of a movie. And while the living quarters weren't much to look at from the outside, Chuck quickly learned that was by design. Once you got inside you saw that it was mostly hidden in the side of the hill and as luxurious as any high end resort in the world. He playfully called it a cabin for the rich and famous. Sarah always corrected him. She called it a cabin for the rich and 'don't want to be famous.' Whichever, it was a place where the right amount of money bought complete privacy and total loyalty from the staff.

"I demand a rematch," Chuck said when he could finally stop panting. "I didn't think you had a chance. Swimming around the entire island? That has to be almost two miles. Where did you learn to swim like that?" It was true. He didn't think she had a chance. After all, the Intersect gave him quickness and instant access to every swimming stroke ever invented. At first he had built a huge lead… was sure that he would win easily. Then he learned something sobering. The Intersect didn't help all that much with cardio endurance. And Sarah was in much better physical shape than he was. Once she caught up, he was helpless to stay with her.

Sarah's eyes were shinning. "I keep telling you… it's called a cay," she corrected. "Before we talk about any rematch, I think it's important that you pay off the bet from the first one, don't you?"

Okay, she was giggling. Since they left France she was mostly always giggling. But she wasn't really kidding. Chuck had known that his wife was competitive from almost the day he met her. These bets were becoming more and more common. Sarah plainly didn't mind losing. In fact, Chuck fully recognized that some of the bets she proposed were such that she knew she couldn't win… just to see what he would come up with. But she also collected in full when she did win. "Aren't you getting a little sexed out?" he teased.

That got Sarah laughing. In fact she was laughing so hard that for a long moment all she could do was shake her head. "Don't even try it," she was finally able to get out. "I won fair and square. Sexed out? I hate to break this to you, but as a woman, I'm in the prime years of my peak sexuality. I have well over a decade to make up for. I'll tell you what. Ask me that question again in thirty years or so. It might not sound quite so stupid."

That got Chuck laughing. "I'm not trying to get out of anything," he protested playfully. "I'm at your service. What would madam desire?"

Sarah was still laughing. She looked at him as if he had suddenly sprouted a third eye. "Did someone hit you with a stupid stick this morning?" she asked sarcastically. "You're on a roll with the stupid questions. Take a wild guess at what madam would desire."

Chuck had to admit, she had a point. She always asked for the same thing. "Can we go to the bedroom?" he asked hopefully. He knew she was a little sensitive to not embarrassing him. She had insisted that they make love in the surf a couple of times… until she discovered that sand was actually billions of tiny pieces of glass… and that squirming on it with someone on top of you wasn't quite as comfortable as she had hoped.

Then again, it was a private beach… on a private island… um, cay. Sarah had been topless since the very first minute her toe set foot on the beach and lately was completely naked practically all day. The only thing she even came close to wearing was some invisible thing the first couple of nights when she wanted to set the mood. After a couple of times even that clearly became unnecessary as she quickly found that the mood was pretty much always already set. So now the only clothes she wore were those required by their role playing… and they were most definitely temporary.

Chuck, not so much. Something about being naked outside still made him blush, especially in the daylight. And it actually wasn't totally private. There were six staff members who lived on the island… um, the cay. They blended into the surroundings so well that you almost forgot that they were there. They spoke French so Sarah was the only one who could comfortably speak with them. Chuck quickly discovered that speaking wasn't necessary. At first, it was a little disconcerting. It you hinted you were thirsty, a tasty frozen pineapple rum drink almost magically appeared in your hand. At dinner time there was a five course dinner waiting in the dining room. Chuck hardly ever knew exactly what he was eating… but it was beyond delicious. Sarah demanded that he lose the shirt before they were all the way to the water on that first day. "I'll make you a deal," she said with a grin. "We'll go into the bedroom, but first you have to agree to pack away that ridiculous bathing suit for the duration."

Responding to his look, Sarah started laughing again. "Nobody's looking," she said. "To the victor go the spoils. Why should I be the only one naked? That doesn't seem fair. I think they are slowing you down anyway. Maybe in the spirt of paying your debt you could do the honors right here… go a little slowly… give me a sexy show."

Chuck had to admit, she had another point. When Sarah paid off a debt, a sexy show was always included in the package. She was really getting into this lifestyle. It was hard to look at her all relaxed and beaming without her mood being contagious. Chuck smiled at her and hooked his thumbs in the waist of his trunks. "Just how slowly do you want me to go?" he teased. "I'll be a good sport. You do realize that you're out of control?"

Suddenly Sarah had her arms around his neck. Since Chuck's trunks were about halfway down, that almost caused them to stumble. The emotion was plain in her voice. "I'm happy, sweetie," she said. "My life is perfect."

"I never thought I could be this happy."

x-x-x-x-x

"I'm not happy."

It probably went without saying. General Beckman was rarely happy. If there was any ambiguity, she said it again. "I never thought I could be this unhappy," she said. "It's been a month. Are you really going to stand there and tell me that you haven't found them?"

Carina bit her lip to suppress the snicker and shot a look at Casey. She was dying to tell him the truth. But it was probably better if he didn't know anything. At least they weren't the main ones in the hot seat this time.

"Walker is a pro," Shaw said flatly. "They are obviously holed up in some shack in Europe. That's where we're concentrating our search. As soon as they run out of money they'll be forced out into the open. They won't be able to stay hidden for very long after that… not someone who looks like Walker. Any man who ever catches a glimpse of her will certainly remember."

"Find them," Beckman growled. "I don't have to remind you that we have an Intersect 2.0 roaming around Europe out of control. The President hands me my ass about this every single day. Turn up the heat."

As soon as the monitor went blank, Shaw turned to the team. "We're getting nowhere fast," he sighed. "What about the sister? She must know where they are. What do we have on her?"

Carina couldn't totally suppress the smile. Ellie was under 24 hour constant surveillance. If she belched, it was in the daily report. Fortunately, Carina was the lead agent on that and could secretly keep her up to date. So she didn't know where they were. What good would that do? All she knew was that they were safe… and as of yesterday anyway, having a very, very, very good time. "Dr. Bartowski is squeaky clean," Carina said. "There's no way they could possibly contact her without us knowing."

Shaw shook his head. "I don't believe that," he said. "They have some way to communicate with her. We need to get closer. Perhaps she can be seduced. Let's see about a cover that gets her working with me."

Carina was biting her lip so hard to keep from laughing that she nearly drew blood. She didn't know Ellie all that well, but she did know that she wasn't a serious seduction candidate… especially not by this stiff piece of wood. She had only been married for a couple of months. Okay, Shaw was good looking… in a way… if you were into that sort of look. He certainly was the pretty boy type that Sarah used to pretend not to slobber over. But Devon was at a different level. He was most certainly the best looking man Carina had ever met. She knew the smart thing would be to keep her mouth shut, warn Ellie what was coming, and have fun watching Shaw strike out all on his own. That would be entertaining. And it might even keep Shaw busy for a few weeks. She just couldn't help taking a shot at this arrogant SOB. "You're not going to be able to seduce her," she said flatly. "Dr. Bartowski won't be interested… especially not with you. You're not her type. She's very conservative and recently married… to a Greek God."

Shaw's jaw showed that he clearly got her point. "Okay," he said. "I have a better idea."

"I know exactly what to do."

x-x-x-x-x

Sarah was right.

It was easy as taking candy from a baby. This was their third hit. Once they were inside, the ten or so men were no match for an Intersect. They were all in various stages of unconsciousness before they even knew what hit them. Naturally, getting them inside was Sarah's job. As it turned out, she was just as sexy in long black hair. Next week, they were going to start seeing if she was as sexy as a redhead. The odds were good.

Sarah clearly was enjoying playing the part of his eye candy. With the general skimpiness of what she was barely wearing, the men were barely looking at him. It was hardly fair. All they had to do was show up a few minutes early pretending to be the buyers, disable the muscle, and wait with the drugs for the actual buyers to arrive with the money. The hardest part was loading the heavy suitcases of cocaine and money into the van.

Of course the safest thing would have been to not leave survivors behind. Although the various cartels were disjointed and unorganized, their descriptions would eventually become known and this would become more dangerous. These men didn't look very fondly on bandits stealing their drugs and money. If they were ever caught the results would be unimaginable horror. Sarah argued that a quick bullet would prevent those descriptions from making their way back to headquarters. But being married had changed her. And naturally, Chuck quickly vetoed that idea anyway. A year ago, she would have insisted and they would probably have fought about it. Not now. He always teased her to come up with different disguises and still be sexy. Besides, he argued, they weren't going to do this too many times. They already had some thirty million dollars. Maybe it wasn't enough to spend the rest of their lives on a private cay. That was most definitely a high rent district. But it was more than enough to find that quiet suburb with Sarah's red door.

They had just finished securing that last of the unconscious men when Chuck looked at his wife. She was beaming. It was funny. On the cay, she was naked as a jaybird most of the time. Here she was, well, dressed wasn't the right word. But she could walk down the street without getting arrested. And yet, she was even sexier in her eye candy outfit. "You're really enjoying this," he said. "I've never seen you this alive."

Sarah nodded with a grin. "A little," she said. She quickly responded to his look. "I know you," she warned. "Don't go getting any crazy ideas. Yes, I'm having a good time doing this with you. But it doesn't mean that I want to be a spy. I don't."

Chuck wouldn't be Chuck if he hadn't paused. "Are you sure?" he asked.

Sarah lost most of her smile. "Please stop," she said. "I know what this is. You're really going to make me say this, aren't you? You want some big sappy romantic scene? Okay, here's the truth. I'm enjoying myself because I'm doing it with you. I enjoy everything with you. I'm going to enjoy raising a family with you even more."

"Was that really so hard to say?" Chuck teased. "Thank you. I understand what you mean. For the record, it didn't sound all that sappy. Can I tell you that standing there you're the sexiest thing I have even seen?"

That got her laughing. "Well, you're in luck," she said. "Can I tell you that watching you blow through ten men turns me on?"

"Don't take this the wrong way," Chuck teased. "I'm certainly not complaining. But lately, turning you on doesn't seem like a herculean effort."

Sarah was still laughing. "I know," she said.

"That's why you're in luck."

x-x-x-x-x

Ellie was just pouring herself a glass of wine when the knock came at the door. Devon was working the late shift at the hospital. Ellie probably shouldn't have admitted this, but having a quiet evening all to herself sounded pretty good. Her life was so busy.

But a quiet evening wasn't in the cards for tonight. When Ellie opened the door a crack, she was looking at a stranger flashing an ID in her face. "Daniel Shaw," he said. "Special Agent for the DEA. Dr. Bartowski, can I ask you a few questions?"

Ellie took the chain off and opened the door. Agent Shaw? That name sounded familiar, but she couldn't quite place it. "Come in," she sighed. It wasn't all that unusual for a doctor who regularly prescribed controlled substances to get a visit from the DEA tracking down abusers. "What can I do for you?"

Shaw handed Ellie a stack of papers. "I'm hoping you can explain this," he said.

Ellie leafed through the papers. They were copies of scripts for Fentanyl. They were made out to various people. But the kicker was the signature. It was hers. "These aren't mine," she protested. "I hardly ever prescribe Fentanyl. And if I ever did, it would have been through the hospital. These must be forgeries."

Shaw shook his head. "We've already done the handwriting analysis," he said. "It's confirmed that these are your signatures. I'm afraid that we have an air tight case… unless we make a deal."

Ellie numbly continued to thumb through the scripts. "These aren't mine," she insisted. Then she thought through the ramifications. She had read the stories of doctors getting busted for drug trafficking. They didn't get much sympathy from the legal system. Typically, the book was thrown at them. "Agent Shaw, these aren't mine. I swear. But just for discussion purposes, what sort of deal?" she asked.

"We're working on a major trafficking operation," Shaw growled. "I have to tell you, you make me sick. Rich doctors using their position of authority to run drugs makes me livid. You need to see what those bastards make teenage girls do to get their next fix sometime. Maybe you need to be in that same position. I'm sure there are plenty of folks where you'll be going who will be happy to oblige. Frankly, I'd rather enjoy the knowledge of seeing you rot in prison on your knees every night as the bitch for some big, sweaty, fugly dyke, praying that you can make her happy enough to not beat you or loan you out. You deserve it. But if you were to plead guilty and cooperate fully… and I do mean fully, I could hold my nose and get you a minimum sentence."

Ellie took full note of his rant. "And what would that be?" she asked.

Shaw considered the question. "First time offense," he said thoughtfully. "If you were willing to fully cooperate, I think I can get you 3 to 5 in a dyke free, minimum security prison."

Ellie was now sobbing. That was a minimum sentence? "These aren't mine," she insisted.

"I didn't think so," Shaw replied skeptically. "They never are, are they? The real question is, can you convince a jury?"

Suddenly Ellie remembered where she had heard the name… and the light bulb went on. "So, Agent Shaw," she said. "I know who you are. What's this really about?"

Shaw smiled. Having her be the one to raise the subject was a victory in itself. He was holding all the cards. If it actually came to that, the signatures the CIA had created would hold up in any court. "Your brother," he said. "If you could tell me where he is, I probably could be convinced to let this matter drop."

Ellie shook her head. "I don't know where he is," she said. Now she understood a lot better why she didn't know… for this exact circumstance.

Shaw didn't stop smiling. "I didn't think so," he said as he got out his handcuffs.

"Maybe a few days in a lockup might trigger your memory."

x-x-x-x-x


	11. Coming Clean

_I still don't own Chuck. I'm not sure who does at this point._

 _The worst thing for an author is silence. You can't tell if you're connecting with your readers, if they're getting where you think the story is going or not. And those comments don't have to be praise. Of course, I'd be lying if I tried to say that I don't enjoy the praise. But I actually learn more from the critical comments. Just as long as you're respectful and allow me to respond, you can say anything._

 **Coming Clean**

x-x-x-x-x

Ellie sat in her cell deep in thought. This Shaw dickhead was definitely playing hardball. She had just gotten back from her arraignment. At least that was in public. So she got to see Devon for a few minutes. Ellie had never heard of the attorney that was with him, but Devon assured her that he was the very best.

The lawyer assured her that she would soon be out on bond. He argued passionately for his client to be released on her own recognizance. After all, she was a respected doctor, had no previous convictions, and wasn't a flight risk. Unfortunately, Shaw was ready for him. As it turned out, the Patriot Act allowed anyone who might pose a national security risk to be held indefinitely without bond. Even worse, he didn't have to even present any evidence of a national security risk, claiming it was classified.

Finally, her lawyer told Ellie the bad news. In today's political environment, the government had almost unlimited powers and if they wanted badly enough, the civil protections in the Constitution ceased to exist.

So here she was, all alone in an isolated cell, deep inside Castle. Even worse, that Shaw dickhead was taunting her… kept telling her how beautiful she was, how she was teasing him, and if something were to happen between them, who would be believed? A highly respected agent with a boatload of commendations? Or a drug running doctor who would say anything to get out of trouble? He told her that she had better come up with something before he couldn't hold himself back any longer.

Naturally, Ellie did know something. And it was maybe enough to get her out of this. No, she didn't know where Chuck and Sarah were. But she did know who did. The problem was, giving up Carina would cause more problems than it solved. Not only would it expose Chuck and Sarah… who knew what they would do with Carina? It was the classic rock and hard place dilemma.

For now anyway, it was just better to sit in the cell, keep her big mouth shut, hope that the dickhead was bluffing, and pray for something to change.

x-x-x-x-x

It had been a long day… very long. They had been silent for entire boat ride back to the cay. Finally, Chuck couldn't bear the silence any longer. "Thank you for not saying 'I told you so'," he said. "I'm sorry that you got hurt. I… I just don't want to kill people."

Sarah looked at him for a long while… with mixed emotions. Here was the nicest man in the world apologizing for not wanting to kill people. It was good that he didn't want to kill people… his biggest strength. He wasn't a spy… not in the way she defined it anyway… and he really never would be. That was a good thing.

On the other hand, he lived in a spy's world. It was really only a matter of time. Drug runners weren't about to sit around and allow someone to steal hundreds of millions of their dollars before they did something about it, especially when they had a good description. So even though Sarah changed their appearance as much as possible each time, it was very predictable that they would eventually walk into a trap.

There were twenty men, armed to the teeth waiting for them. Their preference was to take them alive. And that meant it was a battle for a few minutes. A normal spy couple would have been quickly overwhelmed and captured. Right about now they would be in the middle of the typical torture and gang rape session that served as revenge in the drug runner culture. When they were finally allowed to die it would be a relief.

Of course these particular drug runners had never heard of the Intersect. Sure, that could also be said of better classes of people. But it saved the day this time. Unfortunately, even with the Intersect, Chuck had his hands full for a while. And that meant Sarah was facing more men than she could realistically fight and took a few punches until he could get to her. It wasn't all that big of a deal. Sarah had certainly been in tougher fights than that. She also dished out far more than she took.

All in all, it wasn't all that bad. They had the ten million dollars. An ice pack for an hour or so and her jaw would be fine. Even better, fights turned her on, they always had. She'd be able to parlay his guilt into some extra-long pampering. That might be fun. "I know, sweetie," she said. "We're going to have to lay low for a while."

Maybe Chuck was still a little freaked out about the unexpected battle and on edge. Maybe Sarah was thinking a little too much about her impending pampering. Whatever the root cause, Chuck was the first to notice the man in the black mission outfit darting along the tree line. It was unbelievable how quick the Intersect made him. In the blink of an eye he was standing in front of their uninvited guest.

Foolishly, the man assumed a defensive position and tried to fight. Normally Chuck would have just knocked him unconscious with a kick to the side of head. But he wasn't in the best mood to begin with. Being tracked back to their private hideout was very, very bad news. It probably meant they would have to go back on the run… maybe yet tonight. He knew that he'd have to allow Sarah to use her interrogation skills to find out what this guy knew. That could probably get messy. So the first couple of blows were designed mostly to take the fight out of him. The first kick, directly under his diaphragm, accomplished that. The second kick to the side of the jaw probably wasn't even absolutely necessary. He was already defenseless trying to breathe. It was mostly just to work out some frustration. But there was also some physics involved. Nobody, no matter how badass, was going to remain standing after taking that blow. Chuck quickly had him in a painful submission hold.

Finally Sarah arrived on the scene. Chuck couldn't figure out why she was grinning. Didn't she realize what someone finding them meant? Was she actually laughing? Then Sarah cleared up his confusion and pulled off 'his' mask. A bunch of dark brown hair came flowing out. "Chuck," she said. "I'd like you to meet my ex-partner, Zondra."

"Zondra, this is my new husband, Chuck."

x-x-x-x-x

Chuck felt horrible. Sarah hadn't talked about Zondra much. Actually, Sarah didn't talk about anything in her past much. Carina had talked about her more than Sarah did. But he did know that she and Carina were Sarah's closest friends. She was just as gorgeous in her own way. And here she was, sitting on their couch with an ice pack on her jaw, courtesy of his vicious kick. Her eyes were still a little glassy.

"Fuck," Zondra finally said, drawing out the word to about twenty syllables just like Carina always did. She was gingerly testing her teeth to make sure they were all still intact. "Nice kick. Did Blondie teach you that? It's her favorite move."

If Sarah was upset with him, she was hiding it really well. In fact, she looked like she was fighting a case of the giggles.

Zondra was plainly on the road to full recovery because she turned to her 'friend' with the hint of a smile. "Carina was right," she said. "He's not your type at all. Don't we have anything to drink in this fancy fucking place?"

Chuck was about done hearing that he wasn't Sarah's type. It pissed him off. So his response was a notch harsher then it normally would have been. "Why would you come here and sneak around dressed like that?" he asked. Don't you know that we're on high alert? I could have killed you."

Sarah was still grinning. "He totally could have," she added. "You were flat on your back waiting for whatever he was going to do next… not an unusual position for you."

Chuck shot a glance at his wife. He was still pretty pissed. "And while we're on the subject," he continued. "Fuck Sarah's type. From what I've heard, they're a group of macho pretty boy morons who think more with their dicks than their brains."

Zondra ignored Chuck and turned to Sarah. "Feisty," she said. "I like that. But I'm surprised that you do. Still, anyone who could get the 'Ice Queen' willingly in bed more than once must have some 'special' talent. Maybe this is something I have to experience. Do you share?"

That got Sarah laughing. She handed Zondra the bottle of tequila that she had fetched from the kitchen and indicated Chuck with a flip of her head. "His talent is amazing," she said. "It's world class. I can guarantee that you've never experienced anything like it. I don't usually share but what the hell? We were roommates for a long time so I'll make an exception. You don't mind if I watch, do you? Take your best shot."

All Chuck could do was stand there with the confused look on his face as the two friends laughed at their, obviously inside, joke.

Zondra took a long pull from the bottle. Then she pulled at the zipper of her mission outfit and it was quickly pooled on the floor. "I'm going for a swim," she announced. "That beach is calling my name. Are you coming?"

Sarah laughed and shook her head at her, suddenly naked, friend. "Maybe later," she said. "Chuck can go if he wants."

"Fair enough," Zondra said. "Chuck? What do you say? It would be a good opportunity to impress me. Hopefully your package is up to Sarah's high standards."

Chuck's head was spinning. Normally Sarah would have freaked out at the idea of a naked beautiful woman so obviously hitting on him. Both Sarah and Carina could have been models or actresses. But Zondra clearly had the best body. She obviously was proud of it as she was making absolutely no effort to cover anything. He knew that if he spoke, it would come out as a squeak. So he just shook his head.

"Fair enough," Zondra said. "I'll see it later. By the way, you were right about her type… a bunch of fucking idiots… each one more stupid than the previous one… but they all had good packages."

"There is nothing wrong with his package," Sarah said, still laughing. "In fact, it's pretty impressive. But it's what he can do with it that is really amazing. You'll see. Before you go, care to tell us what the fuck you're doing here? You didn't come all this way and take a humiliating ass kicking just for the chance to use our beach and check out my new husband."

Zondra's eyes lit up and she nodded. "That was just an added bonus," she said.

"I have a message from Carina."

x-x-x-x-x

It was an odd reaction. Chuck was pissed at Zondra's news. Even that was understatement. It was more like 'throwing things around the room' livid. Sarah was sadly quiet and introspective. It was normally exactly the opposite.

"That fucking Shaw," Chuck ranted. "I really hate that guy. We have to figure out a way to go and kill him."

Chuck responded to Sarah's look. "Yeah, I know," he said. "I'm against killing people. I'm making an exception."

Sarah turned her sad eyes toward her husband and found her voice. "I'm afraid that killing Shaw wouldn't help Ellie," she said. "And okay, I hate him too. But in this case he really hasn't done anything wrong. It's what spies do."

This time it was Sarah's turn to respond to Chuck's surprised look. "I'm embarrassed," she said. "We should have seen something like this coming."

Sarah paused for a long moment before continuing. "There was a time when I would have done the same exact thing," she said. "I still would under the right circumstances. So if you hate Shaw for being a good spy…"

Chuck allowed her point to hang in the air while he tried to figure out what she meant. "Why don't I hate you?" he finally finished. "That's what you're saying."

Again, Sarah paused for a long moment. "Chuck, please," she said. "I'll do anything you want. I just can't go back to the way it was."

Chuck did a double take. He couldn't believe she would go there. All he could see was red. "You're kidding, right?" he asked hotly. "Aren't we way past this? You say that you'll do anything? How about a little fucking trust?"

He didn't wait for her to respond. "I'm going down to the beach and keep our new guest company," he said.

"Come and find me when you're ready to have an honest conversation."

x-x-x-x-x

Sarah knew that she had to give him a minute to cool off. When she finally walked out there, he was sitting on the beach looking out at the water. She noticed that he intentionally wasn't looking where Zondra was swimming her laps, not that you could see anything anyway. She sat next to him. "Please don't be mad at me," she said. "You know that I hate that."

Chuck didn't give in. "I'm not mad at you," he insisted. "Not even a little bit. I'm disappointed in you. You're not being honest with me."

Sarah didn't answer for a long moment. "That's even worse," she finally said sadly. "Chuck, I'm trying my best. Look at it from my perspective. You're sweet and you're perfect and I'm not the kind of girl you deserve. I'm just not. You've seen things that would drive most men away in disgust. There are way more things you haven't seen and don't know about that are even worse. They keep coming up at exactly the wrong time. So, yeah, I'm insecure about us. Trust is hard for me… especially in the way you mean."

Chuck sighed. "I feel like we've had this discussion about a thousand times," he said. "We'll have it a thousand more if you need to. I get that I devastated you in Prague. We have to get over that. It wasn't me rejecting you because you were a spy. It was exactly the opposite. I was trying to deserve you. That was stupid. So listen to me and hear what I'm saying to you. I've watched you kill people. I don't care. I've watched you fuck people. I don't care. I get that you've done lots of things that I don't know about that would sound horrible. Sarah, listen to me. I don't care. I knew what I was getting from day one. I'm getting a great deal. So I want you to stop trying to be what you think I deserve. Whatever that is, it's probably pretty boring. I want you to be Sarah Walker, the larger than life badass who I fell in love and am going to grow old with."

Sarah had probably never needed to hear anything like she needed to hear that. She sided into him lovingly. "I'm sorry that I didn't trust you enough," she said. "I'll probably need to hear that, maybe not a thousand more times, but from time to time. I'm ready to start letting some of that go if you'll let me."

"Permission granted," Chuck said.

And there it was… the very best part of Sarah's life. He could always make her laugh. It came out pretty wet and changed the mood.

"Let's start at the beginning," Chuck said. "Tell me the truth about you and Bryce. I saw you kissing in my bedroom that time. That wasn't two partners on a hookup."

Sarah looked at him for a long moment. "I suppose not," she finally said. "I've never lied to you about Bryce. Most all of our sex was directly after a mission or when we were bored. I used it to control him and as a reward when he did what I wanted. But I've probably left out some details. I almost always enjoyed it. Sometimes I was even the initiator. If you're asking me to explain what happened in your bedroom that time, I'm afraid that I can't. I knew it was stupid and sending the wrong message while he was kissing me. I don't know why I kissed back. I'm sorry that you saw it. But I did care for Bryce. You saw how devastated I was when he was killed. But I was never in love with him. He was never in love with me. We were never going to be more than what we were. It's night a day from what we have."

Chuck nodded. "Shaw?" he asked. "What really happened? Diamond earrings cost a mint."

"I never lied to you," Sarah insisted. "Daniel Shaw was after a conquest. He was putting on the full court press. He knew that I was vulnerable. But we were never going to be a couple. My attraction was purely physical. I do think he's good looking. When I went to his apartment that night, I had every intention of giving him his conquest and repeatedly fuck his brains out. I chickened out and left before that happened. I've told you all that. But I probably left out the part where he had my dress mostly off and was slobbering on my chest for a long time. When his hand slid into my panties, it got too real."

Chuck smiled. "You right," he said. "You did leave that part out. Thank you for setting the record straight. Now for the big thing. Tell me the truth. Are you ready to stop being a spy and start raising a family?"

"I've never lied to you about that," Sarah said. "The honest truth is that I want it more than you do. If you want complete honesty, if this was up to me, I'd wait a couple of years. But you want it now. So that's fine with me."

"We can wait a couple of years," Chuck said. "I'm fine with that."

Sarah was already shaking her head. "I don't want you to do that for me," she protested.

Chuck put his arm around her. "You're not listening to me," he said. "This is what I want. We need to get it out of our system. We still have plenty of time for the messy diapers. I'm going to have fun going to parties with the most beautiful woman in the world on my arm, wearing next to nothing. What I don't want is all of the other nonsense… the seduction assignments."

Sarah nodded. "I agree," she said. "That would be too hard. We're past that being acceptable… for both of us."

"Do you really think we could have it all?" Chuck asked. "If we went to Beckman and told her the honest truth? This is what we're willing to do and what we're not willing to do? Would she go for it?"

Sarah considered the question. "I'm not sure," she said. "I think she might. Two years of having an Intersect in her holster would be huge. We can ask. She might try and negotiate with us. That would be the quickest way to get Ellie free. If we try and break her out of Castle, that will get messy."

"We'll do it," Chuck said. "What do we have to lose? Now for the really hard question. Why are you pushing your ex-roommate at me? Normally, my seeing a naked beautiful woman would send you on a five state killing spree."

That got Sarah laughing. "So," she said. "You think that she's beautiful?"

Sarah quickly responded to his look. "I'm just teasing you, sweetie," she said. "Actually, you're not the Bartowski that she is hoping to get naked."

Sarah couldn't help but laugh as Chuck finally got what she was saying. "Zondra has had a major crush on me since the day we met," she said. "If you haven't figured this out yet, she plays for the other team."

Chuck's head was still spinning. "Have you ever?" he asked before trailing off awkwardly.

That got Sarah laughing again. "Have we ever fucked?" she teased. "Eww. For the two years we were rooming, whenever she was drinking, which were most nights, I had to peal her hand off my ass and sometimes my chest at some point. It was always more cute than annoying. It got to be a running joke between us. It's probably going to happen sometime tonight. If you're interested I could probably get us both involved."

Chuck looked at her skeptically. "Very funny," he said. "Like that is something you would want. If that was a test, I think I just passed."

"It wasn't a test," Sarah said, now honestly offended. "It was an honest offer. And no, I have no burning desire to have it happen. But I'd make myself get into it. That is something I'd willingly do for you. Part of me even wants you to take me up on it. It would be showing you how intensely I feel about you when I don't have the words. Maybe we'll even learn something. We were willing to do anything with Carina in Castle that day. She was definitely going to get around to you watching us going at it and the three of us engaged in some way. Why would this be all that different? It wouldn't be spy training. It would just be for fun. You and Carina together would actually bother me. Zondra might be the only woman on the planet who I could watch you with and not go nuts. Trust me, I wouldn't have to ask her twice. She would be very grateful. It might even be good for her. The problem would be her incessant begging for a repeat. We role play and act out each other's fantasies all the time. Why is this different?"

Chuck shook his head. "That's not the kind of thing that I want you to do for me," he said. "Involving other people is different. It's something you can't undo. I'm afraid it might bother you more than you think. It's not worth it."

That got Sarah smiling again. "I know," she said. "Any other man I've ever known would already be naked and calling her out of the water. You're sort of a perfect husband. That's something you'll never ask for. I get that. But do you think that I don't know you well enough to see that you're excited about the possibility? The open offer is still on the table. I promise that it would be fine. Anytime you want to take me up on it, it would sure make Zondra happy."

Chuck needed to change the subject. But first he needed to set the record straight. "Thinking something is exciting, and actually wanting it to happen are two different things," he said.

"Let's go deal with Ellie."

x-x-x-x-x


	12. The Agreement

_I still don't own Chuck. I'm not sure who does at this point._

 _The worst thing for an author is silence. You can't tell if you're connecting with your readers, if they're getting where you think the story is going or not. And those comments don't have to be praise. Of course, I'd be lying if I tried to say that I don't enjoy the praise. But I actually learn more from the critical comments. Just as long as you're respectful and allow me to respond, you can say anything._

 **The Agreement**

x-x-x-x-x

As soon as they were back in the room, Sarah led Chuck to the couch, basically pushed him to sit, and plopped down beside him. "I don't feel right about the way we're leaving this," she said softly. "Maybe you don't fully understand where I'm at. I really don't know how to be a spy without using my body. It's part of my spy instincts. I'm not sure that I can stop."

Chuck was already grinning. "I sense that discussion 1,001 on this topic is imminent," he teased.

Sarah didn't laugh. She just sided into him. "I'm sorry that I'm so needy about this," she sighed. "This isn't something normal couples ever have to discuss. If you had half a brain, you'd leave, find that normal girl who is out there someplace, and never look back."

Chuck was still grinning. "Probably," he agreed. "Here's my problem. I don't have half a brain. It's been eaten away… overwhelmed. I'm in love with a beautiful badass… one who is out of my league. She'll never be called normal… because she's not. She's extraordinary. Even better, this badass has a high octane sex drive. I love that we're not a normal couple. That would be boring. We live on the edge and I'm having a blast. So take a breath and tell me what's bothering you."

Sarah paused for a long moment. "I'm in love," she said. "Those are words I never thought would come out of my mouth… thoughts I never entertained even in my daydreams. And it's more than just with you. I'm in love with the idea of being in love with you. My life is completely different now and I love everything about it. I love laughing all day and making love all night. I love sitting here and snuggling with you. I love to sit at night and watch you sleep. I love the gentle way we make love. I also love the, not so gentle, games we play. You just said that I have a high octane sex drive. Believe me, you don't know the half of it. I'm actually holding back because I'm afraid of scaring you. I'm always… constantly on fire. But that is a very recent development for me. And it is only because of you. If you had said that to Bryce he would have laughed at you. The thing is, I'm not equipped to deal with those feelings. I really don't know how to act. All I do know is that we've hurt each other in the past. That was too hard. It simply can't happen again. I'm just not sure what might do it. There's a very good reason why spies shouldn't be in love. So I'm a little panicked that you are ever going to be surprised by something I do as a spy. I know that you've been jealous before. If we're going to be spies, I think we need to talk specifically about where our lines are."

Chuck nodded. "Okay," he said. "Where are our lines?"

Chuck was still trying to keep this light, and Sarah wasn't helping. "I think you know where my line is," she said. "I've always avoided the long term seduction assignments. Giles was my first actual sex on a mission. Now I understand why I've avoided those assignments. I suck at it, no pun intended. That didn't work out so well… for anybody. So I think I'll leave that activity to the other ladies who are better at it."

Chuck shook his head. "That's not our line," he said flatly. "You're not even close."

Sarah was clearly surprised. She just looked at him.

"Our line is that we're soul mates," Chuck continued. "Whatever we do as spies has to fit within that framework. If it ever doesn't… for either of us… it's gone. I like that we're doing good things for the world. I know that you've dedicated your life to that, and that makes me proud of you. But understand, you're the most important thing in the world to me. Being a spy isn't even on that same page. I assume that I'm the most important thing in the world to you."

"Of course," Sarah said, now honestly offended. "Me more than you. Me a lot more than you. Chuck, you seriously can't be questioning that."

"I'm not questioning that," Chuck protested. "It's not really a contest. I was just making a point. I'm never going to choose to do something for a mission over protecting you. I trust that you feel the same way. As long as that's true, we really don't have anything to worry about, do we?"

Sarah had maybe never needed to hear anything more in her life. She buried into him even closer. "No," she admitted. "Not really. If you knew me as well as you think you do, you'd know that most everything is a contest to me."

Chuck grinned. "And if you knew me as well as you think you do," he teased. "You'd know that you're not winning at all. I've just discovered that it's better for everyone if I allow you to think so."

And there it was. Today's reminder. No matter how down… or angry… or just plain scared she was… he could always make her laugh. "But as long as I'm winning," Sarah said. "I do want this on the record. I only know one way to be a spy. Sex was always off the table for me. But I'm a product of the CIA Seduction School. I've certainly allowed marks to think they were going to get sex… up to necking and sometimes even taking off clothes."

"I'm fine with that," Chuck said. "Can I tell you something without you judging me?"

At least the mood had changed. Sarah grinned at him for a long moment. "Probably not," she said. "But somehow I don't think that's going to stop you."

Chuck ignored her, not so subtle, shot. "Before we were together, I'd go crazy watching you with a mark," he teased. "You just said I was jealous. I don't think you understand how badly. They were getting something I wanted but couldn't ever have. I even resented you sometimes because you seemed to give what I wanted to other men so easily. That first time you spent the night, you showed up in a skimpy negligee and expected me to sleep in the same bed and not be able to touch you. You never seemed to understand what you were doing to me."

"I know," Sarah said. "What you just said is exactly what I fear. I didn't have a clue. Even that isn't the entire truth. I was on a mission. I didn't stop to think about you. I was a bitch. I still don't have a clue… but at least now, I know that I don't have a clue. So if I err, it's going to be on the conservative side."

"You didn't let me finish," Chuck said. "You weren't a bitch. I really wish you would stop saying that. You were doing your job. Now that I know we're always going to be together, it's different. I can make you doing your job a game. If anything, I actually think it's kinda hot. This isn't my proudest moment, but I love that I'm with the most beautiful woman in the world. I enjoy showing her off in her skimpy outfits… or even less. I might even ask for the occasional private re-enactment. If I thought you were being actually aroused, that'd be different. But you're not. You're playing them… getting them all hot and bothered, willing to do whatever you ask, and leaving them to burn. It's a major part of why we're effective. I get to laugh at them. And the best part is that I get to come along and help you work off your guilt. It seems too good to be true. So my main concern is that I don't want to see you degrade yourself like what happened with Giles or paying off Shaw. But up to the actual sex line, I'm perfectly content to allow you to decide how far to go."

Sarah still didn't laugh. "Thank you," she said. "That means a lot to me. It's good that you think it's hot. I hope that you know that you always get private re-enactments, or even semi-private ones, whenever you want. That's something I'm going to use regularly for your amusement. But it's not my only concern. Here's the deal. I'm pretty sure that I couldn't see you with a mark and think it was hot. Watching you being charming with that Hannah bitch was very hard for me. I still want to kick her ass. If I ever get the honest chance, it's going to happen. In fact, I don't think I'm prepared to see anything like that ever again without it seriously affecting me. Okay, call me a hypocrite. Tell me how unfair I'm being."

Chuck was still laughing. "I can live with that," he said. "I'm not good at that kind of thing anyway. I think we'll leave the flirting assignments to you. Please don't kick Hannah's ass. She isn't the bad guy here. If anyone, it's Shaw."

Sarah got up and sat on Chuck's lap, straddling him with one knee on each side. Since they were both wearing only the bare minimum of swimming suits, there was next to nothing separating them. She pressed her lips to his. "You're such a nice guy," she said between kisses. "You're a perfect husband. I'm horrible at telling you, but if you really knew how intensely I feel about you, you'd know that I'm winning big. It's more or less a rout. And that leads me to my second problem."

Chuck really couldn't ask what her other problem was. He found that she had his mouth full. Technically, he wasn't her husband yet, not that it really mattered. He wasn't in any position to concentrate on the problem anyway… almost no matter what it was. When Sarah wanted to, she could get an erection from a corpse… and she clearly currently wanted to. She was working it as hot and heavy as Chuck had ever seen… not that he was complaining. Quickly enough, the main problem was that she was wearing far too many clothes for where they were plainly heading. Fortunately, with her bikini top being held in place by only two slip knots, that was easily fixed. Unfortunately, the lack of blood flow to his brain caused Chuck to forget that they currently had a houseguest.

They had only been at their, hot and heavy, second base necking for a couple of minutes before Zondra walked in, still naked as a jaybird… if you didn't count the towel she was using to dry her hair. "Fuck," she said as she watched the couple for a long moment. "That is hot. Well done, Chuck. Maybe I've underestimated you. I didn't think that blondie here had anything like that in her."

Poor Chuck didn't know what to do. Both of his hands were in their normal position when they were necking… currently affixed to Sarah's chest, one on each breast. Normally that's something he wouldn't ever do in front of an audience. Then again, he wanted to respect Sarah's wishes. She had been traipsing around the cay for the past month pretty much perpetually naked. She was currently wearing her bikini only because she didn't want to be naked in front of her ex-roommate. Dropping his hands would provide exactly the huge eyeful she had been claiming to try and avoid. Sarah had plainly already figured out his conflict and was doing absolutely nothing to help his decision. In fact, she sat back a little and grinned at him, obviously enjoying his discomfort. "Right on cue," she said… and waited for his choice.

Finally Sarah stood up and faced her friend. "You wanted to check out his package," she said, fighting to keep a straight face. "Well, here you go. Trade places with me. It's all primed and ready to go."

Zondra nodded. "I can see it from here," she said. "Most impressive. It looks like those trunks are about ready to explode." Then she frowned. "I thought that we had an understanding about this," she said sadly as she indicated Sarah's bare chest with a nod. "I would refrain from groping you, and you wouldn't tease me like this."

So now Sarah's battle to keep a straight face was lost. "If we did have that deal," she said. "From where I'm standing, you've violated it many more times than I have. For what it's worth, I'm sorry if I'm teasing you."

"Apology accepted," Zondra said as she moved to where Chuck was sitting. "I think this means I get one freebie grope. What do you think, Chuck? That's fair, right? Although maybe you could step up for her and pay off. I see that you have blondie here standing at attention."

So now poor Chuck really didn't know what to do. He really, really didn't want this naked woman sitting on his lap… not ever, but especially not in front of Sarah. But he was frozen, unsure of what to do. She was only a couple of steps away when the girls couldn't keep it up any longer. They collapsed into each other, laughing helplessly.

For a long moment, all Chuck could do was to watch the tears streaming down their faces as they laughed. He made no attempt to keep the annoyance from his voice. "What's going on?" he finally asked.

Suddenly, Sarah was back on his lap. "I'm sorry, sweetie," she said as she fought to regain her composure. "We were just playing. This is a routine that Zondra and I worked out in the CAT days to keep men off our backs. Zondra's not really a lesbian. Actually, she's pretty much always willing to have sex with anyone… or anything. I guess that the technical word would be slut."

So now Chuck was officially annoyed. "So all of that crap on the beach was just an act?" he protested. "I was right. That was a husband test."

Well, that ended Sarah's laughing. "It's not exactly like that," she said softly. "Most everything I told you was true. She does have sort of a crush on me. I have had to peal her hands off my body pretty much whenever she is drinking. I haven't talked to her about it, but I'm very confident I could make the threesome happen. I can see now how you would see that as a test. Your thinking that I would test you makes me feel horrible. It's one of those wife things I'm so horrible at. I will admit that a huge part of me is happy and proud that you turned me down. But it was an honest offer. It still is on the table."

Chuck shook his head. "Tell me the truth," he said. "You don't want this, do you?"

Sarah paused for a long moment. "You put up with so much crap from me," she finally said. "You watched a tape of me on my knees with a mark. I want to make sure that you get something out of this too. So I'm willing to put up with a little crap for you. Zondra is probably the only woman I'd consider this with. Part of me actually wishes that you would take me up on this… if for no other reason that it would tell me that you're comfortable enough in our life going forward that unusual things wouldn't bother you. I'll even try and make myself get into it. I might need a little help. I'm not sure what will be harder, you watching an uncomfortable session with Zondra gloating with me… or me watching you with her."

Zondra was finally able to control her laughing. "You do realize that I'm standing right here?" she asked playfully. "Slut is a little harsh, don't you think? And what makes you think it will be uncomfortable? I've got twenty bucks that says you do one line of Coke and that's all the help you'll need. I'll have you moaning in the first five minutes. Still, if you're going to offer me up for kinky sex, at least you should feed me a fancy dinner first."

Sarah shook her head. "Please," she said sarcastically. "Fancy dinner? Who are you and what have you done with my partner? From what I've seen over the years, you'd give it up right here and now for the future promise of a Taco Bell."

That got Zondra laughing again. "Maybe," she admitted. "It's true. Getting blondie here on her back begging me not to stop is something that I've been looking forward too. But I'm hungry. I don't think I could do this justice on an empty stomach… and I don't think there's a Taco Bell here on the island. A fancy dinner will have to do."

Chuck shook his head. "Not happening," he said. He reached out to Sarah and pulled her closer. "Listen to me very carefully," he said. "Hear what I'm saying to you. I'm very grateful that you would be willing to make a sacrifice for me. I am. I'm just very happy with my sex life just the way it is. A threesome with two beautiful women is probably a common fantasy. Most men would probably want it. To me, that would be pretty awkward. If that was something you really wanted, I might be open to it. But here is what you don't seem to get. I have the most beautiful woman in the world spending her days thinking of ways to excite me. I'm already living my fantasy. The last thing… the very last thing I would ever want is for you to force yourself to do something you didn't want to do for me. Even if I wanted it, and I don't, knowing you were forcing yourself would take all the fun out of it for me. If this was a mission and together we decided it was worth it, maybe. I get that being married and being a spy doesn't always mix well. But I'm having the time of my life. You owe me nothing."

He turned back to Zondra. "I do think we can come up with the fancy dinner," he said. "I'm sorry for the teasing. I'm afraid that I'm going to reserve her begging to not stop for myself."

"But first we need to talk to Beckman."

x-x-x-x-x

It took Chuck a bit of time to set up the secure conference. Sarah was adamant that they not give Beckman any hint of where they were. If this didn't work, they wouldn't be leaving anytime soon. Even if it did work, there was a definite limit to how much they could trust Beckman, so she wanted the option of a safe hiding place.

According to Zondra, it was still assumed that they were someplace in Europe. So that meant bouncing the feed off of a dozen different satellites to make it look like they were there. She made sure that they were in a plain, windowless room and were fully dressed in mission garb so that the CIA analysts wouldn't be able to see their tans. She even went so far as insisting that Chuck darken the room and make the feed slightly out of focus.

Of course, it didn't take long for whoever the Officer of the Day was to find Beckman… and even less for her to join the conference. It wouldn't have been Beckman if she hadn't started off the meeting with an attempt at intimidation. "Where have you two been?" she all but shouted. "Agent Walker, Agent Bartowski, I expect you back in Castle immediately."

They had agreed that Sarah was going to do the talking. She wasn't really in a mood to take any crap. "If that is your tone, this is going to be a really short fucking conversation," she said. "Frankly, what you 'expect' doesn't impress me all that much. I do think there is something we can work out that would advance our mutual objectives. I guess you get a vote. But understand something. Things have fundamentally changed for us. We're never again going to be your mindless robots. That day is over."

Beckman took full measure of Sarah's tone. And even though she would never admit it, truth be told, she was impressed. Walker was a warrior… a warrior who followed unpleasant orders without question. For her to be so openly insubordinate was very telling. "Okay, Agent Walker," she said. "I'm listening. Tell me what you have in mind."

"This conversation has to begin with the agreement that Ellie Bartowski spends tonight in her own bed," Sarah said. "She'll need a certified letter, copied to her employer and lawyer, stating that it was discovered that the evidence against her was flawed, all charges have been dropped, and apologizing for her inconvenience. If we can't start there, I'm afraid we have nothing to discuss."

Beckman tried to hide the smile. She knew that this would work the second Shaw suggested it. For as powerful as Bartowski with the Intersect 2.0 was, he had a fatal weakness. There was no way he would allow anything to happen to the people he cared about. Maybe Agent Walker thought that she was calling the shots here. But his weakness was a weapon she would always have in her pocket. "Assuming I agree and we continue this conversation," she said. "What do I get?"

Sarah had no smile to try and hide. "You get a ton," she said. "You get your best team back. Chuck fully in control of Intersect 2.0 is a force more powerful than I would have ever believed."

Beckman nodded. "I sense a 'but' coming," she said.

Sarah was in no mood to be coy. "There are several 'buts' coming," she said. "You underestimate us by a mile. Chuck and I want to do the right thing. We feel called to be spies. We'll accept any reasonable assignment. But we refuse to allow that to interfere with our personal relationship. We are going to be married as soon as we can work out the details. Neither of us will be ever having sex with anyone but each other. So that rules out any seduction missions… for either of us. We never want to be separated on assignment. Agent Miller is the only one we honestly trust, so we will report directly to her. This last one is personal, but Agent Shaw is an issue. He needs to be sent packing."

Beckman sat in thought for a long moment. "I don't like this," she finally said. "What we do is hard enough without adding any external considerations. But you are an amazing team. I suppose we could make some concessions in assignments. Separating you won't be a problem. You make him effective. Agent Shaw simply has to be involved. He's our main Ring expert. You'll have to work out your personal issues."

Sarah sat for a long moment in thought. "One condition," she said. "Agent Shaw needs to truly understand the nuances of this situation and where the lines are. Unfortunately, he only truly understands one language. So before we agree to work with him, he meets me in the ring at Castle… mono y mono."

Chuck had kept silent till now. "Are you sure about this?" he asked. "He's a pretty big guy. What makes you think he'll agree?"

For the first time, Sarah flashed her, soon to be, husband a knowing smile. "You're the one who pointed out that he was the bad guy. If I can't kick Hannah's ass, Shaw will have to do. I'll bet that you can talk him into it."

"Consider it a wedding present."

x-x-x-x-x


	13. The Secret Weapon

_I still don't own Chuck. I'm not sure who does at this point._

 _Yeah, it's been a while. I find that it's harder and harder to get motivated to write about Chuck and Sarah. Almost anything I can think of, I've already done. But I made a promise to never abandon a story. So here goes._

 _The worst thing for an author is silence. You can't tell if you're connecting with your readers, if they're getting where you think the story is going or not. And those comments don't have to be praise. Of course, I'd be lying if I tried to say that I don't enjoy the praise. But I actually learn more from the critical comments. Just as long as you're respectful and allow me to respond, you can say anything._

 **The Secret Weapon**

x-x-x-x-x

Chuck and Sarah were enjoying their last night on the private beach. In the morning, it would be off to Washington… back into the spy-life grind. With the route that Sarah had chosen so to not allow Beckman to know where they had been, it would take an entire day. Zondra had left… something about a mission in Costa Rica… but not before collecting her promised fancy dinner followed by plopping a very sloppy goodbye kiss on each of them. Neither was very enthusiastic… about the dinner or the kiss.

Being naked in front of a woman not named Sarah wasn't Chuck's first choice. Sarah insisted… like only Sarah could. They were going to treat their guest to a proper swim on their private beach. And said beach had a strict dress code. Of course said guest had already been swimming on their beach… didn't matter. So they went swimming.

That wasn't the hard part. In the water, he was fairly hidden. Eating a five course meal while naked had always struck Chuck as fairly odd. It was even odder adding a second naked woman.

That wasn't even the hard part. It was time for the goodbye kisses. Maybe the last thing Chuck wanted was to have another woman trying to force her tongue down his throat in front of Sarah. Also not high on his list was watching someone trying to force her tongue down Sarah's throat in front of him.

Sarah's smirk aimed in his direction plainly said that she was sending a message by even participating. Zondra plainly sensed that she was attempting to tell her husband something so she was plainly sending a message of her own as she took full advantage of whatever point her ex-partner was trying to make. Sarah's kiss lasted much longer, was multiples more intense, and involved far more tongue than your average 'goodbye to a good friend' variety. Chuck couldn't see her other hand, but at least it clearly rounded second base, and most definitely crossed the invisible line that defined making out territory. Fortunately, the way Sarah was trying unsuccessfully to hide that fact that she was helplessly giggling, really during both kisses, probably meant that Chuck didn't have to fear any escalation past the point where he would be uncomfortable.

So now they were just enjoying the billions of stars in the sky and the cool breeze coming from the water. They weren't really doing anything sexual… not yet anyway. Naturally, it went without saying that being in close proximity with Sarah in such a romantic setting when they were both already naked meant that could change at any moment. She had clearly planned ahead for the possibility because instead of lying on the sand like they normally would, she had brought a blanket. "It's so beautiful," she said. "Isn't it?"

Chuck made sure that she saw where he was looking… at his wife's naked profile, silhouetted against the moonlight. "You have no idea," he said.

That didn't get the laugh he was expecting. "Can I ask you a serious question?" she asked.

Chuck wasn't expecting her to say anything like that. He really wasn't expecting her to say anything. If anything, he expected to feel her hand slide up his leg, which was her tell that she was ready to play 'hide the salami.' Fortunately he had long ago recognized the slight waver in Sarah's voice that told him that she was struggling with something. Nobody asked their husband for permission to ask a question. Normally he would have teased her about it. But this plainly wasn't the time for that. So he just pulled back a little to look into her eyes. "Shoot," he said.

Sarah paused for a long moment. "Tomorrow I'm going to have to start wearing clothes again," she finally said sadly.

Okay, so Chuck was wrong a minute ago. Now that was something he really didn't expect her to say. For one thing, it wasn't a question. He instantly knew that she wasn't saying what was really bothering her. He also knew that he needed to tread carefully. If he could keep her talking, she would eventually open up. "Okay," he said. "I guess. So what? You're a great dresser. Besides, that means I'll get to watch you take them off. This is a win / win. You'd be the most beautiful woman in the world no matter what you wear."

Sarah shook her head. "You keep saying things like that," she said. "It's sweet. I like hearing it. Looking good for you has been very important to me since the moment I met you. But we both know it's not true."

Chuck still didn't know what was really going on, but this was getting frustrating. "It is absolutely true," he insisted, maybe a little stronger than he intended. "I'm not sure what is going on inside that pretty head of yours, but you need to understand something. That's not something I tell you to butter you up. I honestly believe it. I have since the moment I met you. It's not something that you're going to be able to talk me out of. You're the most beautiful woman in the world… no close second… end of discussion."

Sarah took full measure of his tone. "I'm not trying to start anything," she said. "Please don't get upset. I'm trying to make a point. Here's the thing. Even if it is true, it won't be twenty years from now… after I've had three kids."

Chuck knew that laughing would be the worst thing he could possibly do… the very worst thing. He just couldn't help it. It came out pretty wet. "Since when are you planning on having three kids?" he teased.

This time it was Sarah's turn to be frustrated. "Since about a week after I met you," she snapped. "Chuck, I get that you think I don't want kids… that I want to always be a spy. You're just wrong about that. The truth is that I want it more than you do. I got myself to sleep most every night for those first two years thinking about it. We're going to have three."

Chuck was genuinely surprised that she was plainly serious. "Three?" he asked.

Sarah just nodded. "First a girl, then two boys," she said confidently. "I already have the names picked out. And yeah, okay, part of that is a little scary for me. I have some growing to do. But I'm working on it."

Finally Chuck understood what was bothering her. He snuggled into her. "It's a lot scary," he said. "It is for me too… for any normal person, really. There are plenty of reasons to be scared. Me loving you one bit less because your body changes as we get older isn't one of them. If anything, I'm trying hard to not find that insulting."

"Please don't be insulted," Sarah quickly said. "I'm not trying to insult you. I get that you love me. It's just… looking good for you is important to me."

"No kidding," Chuck said sarcastically. "From where I'm standing it's too important to you. I get that maybe I've sent you some mixed signals. I definitely am not complaining that I'm with the most beautiful woman in the world. The thing is… I understand you better than you think. The CIA has filled your head with the thought that men wanting to get you naked is your most valuable asset. I get that. You use it against them mercilessly. You're afraid that having babies will make you lose that… even with me."

Sarah just looked at him. "Maybe," she said. "Look, I'm not questioning you. I know that you'll always love me. I do. It's an irrational fear. I get that. It would probably help me a lot to hear you say it every once in a while."

Chuck knew that he had to lighten the mood. "I've dropped the ball," he teased. "I'm sorry. I do understand. It's an awesome weapon that you're giving up. You've used it against me. You still do."

"I don't use it against you," Sarah protested, now honestly offended. "That was a horrible thing to say."

Chuck didn't back down a bit. "My phone is broken," he said, poorly imitating her voice. "Because I didn't get a call from you. What was that about?"

"Okay," Sarah admitted. "But that was different. It was a long time ago. I was a different person then. I was on a mission. That was before we were together. I don't use it against you now."

Chuck nodded. "Maybe," he said. "Care to explain your make out session with Zondra an hour ago in front of me? Are you trying to claim that wasn't calculated?"

Sarah's face turned red. "I wasn't using anything against you," she protested. "It's not like that. This is complicated. It's hard for me."

Chuck grabbed her hand. "It doesn't have to be hard," he said. "Take your time. You can tell me anything."

Sarah took a long moment to gather her thoughts. "Okay, yes," she began. "I'll admit that maybe I was intentionally putting on a show using Zondra to try to prove something to you. I've treated you so horribly."

"I wouldn't say that," Chuck protested.

Sarah wasn't having any of it. "That's crap and you know it," she snapped. "Don't tell me that I can tell you anything and then deny the obvious. If you're going to sit there and blow smoke up my skirt, like you always do, let's drop this."

Chuck resisted the temptation to point out that she wasn't wearing a skirt. Her tone plainly said that this wasn't the time for any teasing. "Okay," he said. "You're right. I do tend to tell you what you want to hear. So for the sake of this discussion, I'll accept your premise. Tell me what you're thinking. I'm listening."

"I've treated you horribly," Sarah repeated. "I probably understand that a little better now. I was trained to be a spy. There's no room in that job description to feel sorry for your asset. But you were never just my asset… not after the first day anyway. I was stuck. So I kept you at arm's length. But I also loved that you were in love with me. The thing is, I never considered how hard it was to be in love with a spy. Being my cover boyfriend was torture… far worse than anything Fulcrum could have ever done to you. I get that. It was for me too. Having to pretend that we had something that we both wanted so badly? And being forced to watch that tape of me with Giles? Not to mention having to watch Shaw feeling me up while he slobbered on my neck. I feel guilty… and you can save your breath. I'm going to feel guilty no matter how much you try and talk me out of it."

"So," Chuck said. "Sacrificing yourself by offering me Zondra is your way of dealing with guilt."

"Maybe," Sarah said. "Let's face it. We haven't started out as a normal couple with a normal sex life. Being spies doesn't allow that. Six weeks ago, the very first day we got together, we were planning on how to conduct ourselves the next day in Giles' orgy. So now, we're going to go back into that life. Even though we've drawn the line at actual sex, it's still going to be different. Someday, we'll be that normal couple. I want that as much as you do. But we're not now… and as long as we're spies we can't be."

"And you have a solution?" Chuck teased.

"I think so," Sarah said. "We've been forced to deal with the bad things that come with the spy life. Why don't we recognize our situation and embrace it. You have to accept the bad things… why not get the good things? I give you a wild night every once in a while and maybe I can feel a little less guilty. It doesn't have to be Zondra, but you'd have to admit that she is perfect. We wouldn't have to talk her into it. I could give a good friend something that she's wanted for years. I think you just saw that I would be able to do it, so it wouldn't be much of a sacrifice. And last but not least, the idea turns you on. Please don't try and deny that watching us go at it was exciting. I know you too well."

Chuck stared at her for a long moment. "Have you ever been in a strip club?" he finally asked softly. He didn't wait for a response, which was good because she was too surprised to offer one. "It sounds like it would be great, doesn't it?" he asked. "A room full of naked women walking around. What could possibly be sexier? It's all Morgan could talk about. But the truth is, once you get there, it's the complete opposite of sexy. It's awkward… pathetic. That's the same with Zondra. I get that you think it would be exciting for me. You're just wrong about that. Knowing that you were forcing yourself to do something for me would take all the excitement out of it. It's the very last thing I would ever want. So can we please stop talking about it? I will cede to your larger point. I wanted to strangle you when you came over to spend the night that first time in that ridiculous frilly negligee. Is it possible that you didn't know what you were doing to me?"

"I was on a mission," Sarah sighed. "When I'm on a mission, that's all I think about."

"I know," Chuck said. "But all that's in the past. So why don't you take a deep breath and tell me what's really bothering you?"

Sarah just stared at him for a long moment. Then the tears started. "I don't want to go back," she finally sobbed.

Chuck was stunned. Sometimes Sarah had to blink away some tears… but he could count the times she had cried on one hand. "We don't have to go back," he said.

Sarah started crying even harder. "We do," she protested. "Let's face it. We have no choice… not really. We have to go back and deal with them. We can't raise a family constantly on the run. But look at our history. So many things have gotten in our way. Chuck, we've grown so close. Things are so perfect between us now. I always thought that I was happy looking forward to the next mission. If we go back to being spies, how can we be sure that something won't get in our way again? I can't go back to the way it was."

Chuck sighed and put his arm around her. "Let me tell you a story," he said. "You talk about watching the tape with Giles. And yeah, that wasn't my favorite part of that day. But watching you on that yacht necking with that Lon Kirk dude was a hundred times worse. It was the worst day of my life. Even though the end outcome was going to be about the same, it felt completely different for me. Wanna know why?"

Sarah didn't answer… not really. She just nodded.

"We're together," Chuck said. "I know for sure how you feel. Back then, I had to guess. So if that happened today, I wouldn't like it. But I wouldn't be jealous. You were on a mission… doing the nasty things that spies have to do on missions. And yeah, I get that situations like that are going to come up… for both of us. But nothing… absolutely nothing is ever going to get in our way… because we're not going to tolerate it. Nobody is cheating us out of our life together. We both have veto power. Anything that crosses the line, for either of us… is gone. We'll find another way. End of story."

Sarah had probably never needed to hear anything in her life more than she needed to hear that. She just snuggled tighter. "We have to figure out how to deal with Beckman," she said.

"Beckman?" Chuck asked. "I'm worried about Shaw. I'm sorry if that makes me sound jealous."

At last Sarah stopped crying. "You do sound jealous," she said. "Thank you for that."

"If I already sound jealous," Chuck said. "Then I might as well put this on the table. Before, I was willing to put up with a little nonsense from him as long as it was part of the mission. That's no longer true."

Now Sarah was smiling. "Duly noted," she said. "Trust me. I have Shaw. I know exactly where to hit him where it hurts. When I'm done with the sonofabitch, he'll make it a priority to stay as far away from me as he possibly can."

"I believe you," Chuck said. "If I tell you that I don't feel sorry for him, does that make me a bad person?"

So now Sarah was grinning. "A little," she teased. "I forgive you." Then she turned serious. "Don't underestimate Beckman," she protested. "Her rules are that she doesn't have any rules. She doesn't like having terms dictated to her. She's going to intentionally put us in uncomfortable situations… just to make us admit that she is in charge. She is going to figure out some way to get serious leverage on us. You saw what she did with Ellie. Chuck, that's the tip of the iceberg on what she is willing to do."

So now Chuck was grinning. "Now it's time for you to trust me," he said. "I have Beckman. I know exactly where to hit her where it hurts. When I'm done with her, she'll be a pussycat."

"I have a secret weapon."

x-x-x-x-x


End file.
